[manicminer]

While in college and struggling with emotional rollercoaster, which I now know is bi-polar disorder, I took a summer course called Wilderness Liturature. The course involed class time, reading "Wilderness and the American Mind" by Roderick Nash, and field time. Activities included: 1 day canoe at a local stream, 2 day overnight canoe on the Susquehanna River, rock climbing, and a 6 day backpacking trip in Dolly Sods, WV wilderness followed by white water rafting. The hike was the most special. No cell phones allowed, the wouldn't have service anyway. You carried everything you needed on your back with you. Sleeping in tents, filtering our water from streams, cooking our own food, keeping a journal the whole way. This was truely one of the greatest experiences of my life. The deep connection of nature I received was enough to level me out, clear my head, and get me back in touch with reality. There was a night and day change in my grades and school work the following semester. I just felt better all over.
I highly suggest an experience like this. If this seems indimidating, try just a simple walk in the woods. With someone or alone. Just you and mother nature as one. Breathing together, hearing together, feeling together. Take in nature for all it is worth. Let it inside you and your mind. Soon you will find it consumes you and there is no room for all your fears and worries.

[Sunna]

Aaaah.. yes!

I have started backpacking solo when I was 24, and gone almost every year.

People don't understand. They ask, why risk doing it alone, what if something happens, wouldn't it be more fun to go with a group, am I not lonely, can't I find some man to go with so I don't have to carry it all myself, am I not scared to be alone, am I not scared to sleep unders the stars (usually no tent, unless it's late in the season), and why go to places I've already been, isn't it too hard for someone as fat as me (and lately old and fat)?

I can't explain. I have camped near the top of Cloud's Rest and felt the big slow heartbeat in the massive rock. I've "known" this mountain must have been a destination of many vision quests in times before white man, because I could hear echos of chants, of drums. Went to the same place later with a friend. We chatted, took awesome pictures, I tried to describe to him the magic I experienced on my solo trip, but it just wasn't there.

I worry plenty when I go. Worry if I will make it to the lake or will I have to dry camp. Worry that I haven't crossed a creek in a long time, and they should be, and I am running low on water. Worry that I am still feeling that abbrasion on a heel, and what if it turns into a bloody blister as it once had. I worry that I will run out of mosquito repellent, and worry that I may turn my ankle. I worry that the air smells oddly like snow, and it may snow on the pass and I may be trapped, and worry that if I try to go over the pass today, I may not make it to the other side before night. I worry that I am too old and too fat to make it to my next planned stop, but I just keep going. I even once worried that my house may burn down while I am gone (not sure where that came from, like what would I do if I was there, burn with it?), but I just keep going.

I found on these hikes how when negative thought patterns visit me, they sap all my strength, and since I am operating well above my normal levels, I can't afford that energy drain and need to find a way to inner peace real quick.

I walk out feeling cleansed. I beam at dayhikers I meet coming out, and they beem back. And I laugh so easily.

p.s. I haven't done it in 4 years for one reason or another, but packing to go day after tomorrow.

[beauflow]

I remember I would go to the mountains by myself when I lived in a bad situation about 3&1/2 years ago.. I would go see the river flowing, sit on a rock, write how the rock and ripple reminded me of life... i would take pictures of trees, I did do some trespassing though to go get a picture of this huge mushroom! but it was worth it.
I still go up to the mountains these days with my Boyfriend, it is still very nice. I love nature and have always believed it be a natural calmer.