AJ said women have too many emotions

Well, quite frankly, being an empath is a type of psychic. "Empath" is a psychic who psychically feels the feelings of others around them. Some of these psychics can also feel the past emotions of a a building, place, object, etc. Let's say there was a homicide and the police hire a psychic detective who is an empath. That psychic detective would then use his or her ability to eek out the emotions remaining from the event (rage, terror, etc) and could use them to guide the police around. "In this room there was a heated argument," etc.

I've known one person in my life to claim to be an empath, and it was a man. He told me that he had to learn to build a psychic wall around himself because he was constantly bombarded with the emotions in the world and it was very draining.

Whatever you believe about psychics, if all women were empaths this would be a very different world, indeed. Everyone has difficulty understanding each other. It is all about communication and respect if we want to understand our loved ones. I'm very sorry if you have a woman in your life who is letting on that women are empaths, that's really not fair to anyone.

Pardon me. I used the incorrect word. I was referring to people who are capable of experiencing empathy, which should be everyone with the exception of psychopaths, narcissists, and people with autism/Asperger Syndrome.

Of course everyone is unique, but there is a different in making sweeping generlizations and discussing what is current research or academic information and how society influences these things. Of course there are always people who don't fit the "mold" or proposed "norms" but there are enough people that behave within these proposed "generalizations" that academics take notice and try to find the root cause of why things are they way they are and how society influences those groups.

... may egg you on in the subtlest of ways, may come at you as a victim, as someone who cares or someone who's hurt. They may mix in inaccurate information or misquote you to compel you to respond.

~Wiki

Don't take the bait. It's not going to change anything other than your blood pressure.

Ah, well, I see. Sadly, women aren't more empathetic naturally either. I've known some cold hearted women in my day, that's for sure. I think this is another generalization. Some women are very empathetic. I think I can be. I try to be. But some are very "me, me, me." Have you ever seen a particular heiress on t.v. who has a name that starts with a K? I doubt she could care less how anyone was feeling so long as she gets her way. That's all personality traits, environmental upbringing. Women build walls, too. You get hurt so you put up your spikes, etc.

Same with men. Like I said, the guy I knew who claimed to be an empath. He was very empathetic, (obviously, LOL.) I think empathetic guys label themselves as "nice guy," or gets labeled that. Other guys don't care how horrible your day went and why on earth are you crying? Can't you see he's busy with his beer and friends, and here you are crying on him....

The only way to understand feelings is to communicate them. If you can't communicate them, then don't get upset about it. But maybe be honest, "Look, I'm just not good at communicating my feelings." Open up a logical dialog instead.

LOL radio flyer, you got quite a thread going here, including quite a conversation from two cats.

"sigh" yes there is a strong societal sense for stereotyping male verses female behaviors.

I do agree with Michael the Great that we do now know the brains of women and men are different. It doesn't mean one is smarter than the other, but we were originally designed differently and have functioned differently from the start. And our chromozones are different as well as our hormones. And our bodies are different as well, men are not designed to bear children etc.

As far at the answer to your question Michael about why people who have empathy can not seem to tolerate others with more empathy and emotion the answer is not clear cut and dry. There are so many variables that come into play in that area such as personal upbringing and exposures to varied emotions given by parents. Some people can deal with tramas and find ways to move on while others are effected more profoundly. They have just done more research on the brain of people who present PTSD compared to others who dont and have found out that the people who present PTSD have smaller hypocampus's that can be damaged easier during a trama. And they have noticed changes in the brains of young children that are exposed to abuse and they do see that the hypocampus shrinks making it harder for the child later on in life to adjust to trama as well.

So when we interact with other people there is a lot more to it than meets the eye. While we often do consider that men and women do think a bit differently there is always the exception. Society has long presented ideas of meeting prince charming and living happily ever after and there has been a whole lot of reality left out. If only it was all that easy, NOT.

I am not so sure that people with Asbergers lack empathy. We must all remember that many charectoristics both favorable and unfavorable can very well be created by our family environments growning up. That remains a very important part of each person's equasion. Monkey see monkey do, monkey do not see, monkey do not do. One cannot be expected to know how to just do something when they have never been shown how by anyone when it comes to good communication and sense of personal balance and maturity levels.

Open Eyes

I agree with the ..................





Cats

Ah, yes, I've known some cold, unemotional women too. Dated a couple. It was... interesting... I'm not implying that women or men are more empathetic. They might be; I'm not sure. I'm referring to everybody who is capable of empathy at any point in time, man or woman or transgendered or any of the other genders... Why do you find it difficult to understand people of the opposite sex? Or anyone who you can't relate to? Empathy being defined as the ability to recognize and, to some extent, vicariously experience the emotions of another. I am incapable of this, yet I find it quite easy to understand the motives and actions of the opposite sex and anyone else. Even though I can't experience my wife's emotions, I can tell when she's upset by reading the subtle cues. I know when there's some sentimental value behind a trivial gesture, even if I don't have the same feelings. And I often have to teach my non-psychopathic male acquaintances how to talk to a woman, because a lot of them are clueless. I just don't understand how people don't see these cues.

I know of that particular heiress. I haven't watched the show, but the media has sullied my mind with her antics by shamelessly parading her and said antics for all to see, much to my dismay. I would put money on her having empathy. Even selfish heiresses are capable of empathy. One can understand what another is going through and simply not care for that person. But they can have empathy and care for someone else. This particular heiress probably reserves her empathy for people who are, quite frankly, in the same social class... And for charities. But she is still capable of it, nonetheless. There are very few people who are entirely incapable of truly understanding and sharing an emotion. I am one of those people.

Whoa, there... That's not what I was getting at...

Not tolerate. AJ says that "women have l00 different emotions and he just doesn't get it or know what to do........He said it all drives him nuts..." If AJ is capable of empathy - that is, he is able to understand and experience the emotions of another - then why am I, the psychopath, better at understanding the motives and actions of the opposite sex than AJ, the non-psychopath? Why is it so hard for people who are capable of empathy to understand anyone at all?

What is being communicated is not what we want to hear.

Why should anyone assume your perceptions is true?

I think that's back to you, Michael! (assuming my perception is true...) Are we saying nothing is knowable? Hasn't this ground already been covered? A friend of mine likes the Heisenberg Principle, which I took to mean that an emotion simply by the process of being observed is changed, but it wasn't what he meant. Mine was probably more clever, because what he said then made no sense to me. And I wonder why he doesn't like me like me.

Found this online.. I didn't say it.. lol... is interesting tho did a search on women's emotions... next will be a search on men's emotions

the most salient features differ slightly between women and men

"Men who have high emotional intelligence tend to be socially balanced, outgoing, happy, little predisposed to shyness and chew their concerns. They prove to be endowed with a remarkable ability to engage with the causes and people tend to take responsibilities, maintain an ethical vision of life and are friendly and loving in their relationships. Their emotional life is rich and appropriate; they feel, in short, good about themselves, their peers and the social universe in which they live. "
"Women tend to be emotionally intelligent, energetic and unequivocally express their feelings, have a positive view of themselves and for them life always has meaning. As with men, tend to be open and sociable, express their feelings appropriately (rather than indulge in emotional outbursts you later regret) and bear right tension. Social balance enables them to make new friends quickly, feel comfortable enough with themselves to appear cheerful, spontaneous and open to sensual experiences. And, unlike what happens with the pure type of woman with a high IQ, they rarely feel anxious, guilty or drown in their concerns
http://listofemotions.org/

another interesting link http://www.umich.edu/~ece/student_pr...ons/index.html

Understanding a Woman’s Emotions
Let’s face it, women are wired completely different than men! Our brains work differently. We think and do things differently. Our physical make up is different. But these are all good things! We were made to be compliments to one another. Generally speaking, women tend to be more emotional than men. This is nothing new to us. However, when a woman starts getting “moody,” they easily get labeled a five-letter word and men give it no further thought.
This is not a men-bashing article. If anything, I want to help men and women better understand their wife’s (or own) emotions. I want to use some personal experience from M and I’s relationship. First of all, M and I rarely fight. But when we do, it seems that I am almost always the cause of it. M would never accuse me of this, but I know it’s true. How? Because every time we fight, its because I am an emotional wreck. http://www.brauchtalk.com/understand...mans-emotions/

Understanding Men's Emotions

Men and emotions

Our emotional state often dictates how we behave. Men and women may handle emotions in quite different ways.
When upset, women are more likely to express their feelings directly, and to seek the support of friends and family, whereas men might hide their emotions or withdraw.
Men often feel that they need to be self-reliant. They are sometimes focussed on providing for their loved ones and hide their own emotions. This behaviour is reinforced everyday in the stereotype of the heroic male, so often represented in popular culture. Fearless, resourceful, stoic and usually facing adversity alone, these characters tell us a lot about what is considered to be ideal male behaviour within our society. http://www.menslineaus.org.au/Men-and-Emotions.html

love the cat video, notz.... says a lot! doesn't it? smile

An interesting piece of some of the proposed differences in the language women and men use and how society influences it is a book called Raising Cain. It is by two psychiatrists who did extensive research on to how society influenced language choices and communication affect young boys.

Many universities offer a variety of classes in linguistics the scientific study of human language and many academic papers, books, and journals are available on language and gender and sociolingusitics both fields within in linguistics that explore how language affects the world around us and how society affects and influences our language and how we communicate and how gender can be affected by these things.

If anyone is interested in any of these topics I can provide a plethora of print outs and book referrals as I am currently studying for my linguistics minor

I think this is a very interesting topic, especially since I just did a field study for a class and my topic was the difference in politeness in women and men.

Emotional Wiring Different in Men and Women
Men and women are actually from the same planet, but scientists now have the first strong evidence that the emotional wiring of the sexes is fundamentally different.
An almond-shaped cluster of neurons that processes experiences such as fear and aggression hooks up to contrasting brain functions in men and women at rest, the new research shows.
For men, the cluster "talks with" brain regions that help them respond to sensors for what's going on outside the body, such as the visual cortex and an area that coordinates motor actions.
For women, the cluster communicates with brain regions that help them respond to sensors inside the body, such as the insular cortex and hypothalamus. These areas tune in to and regulate women's hormones, heart rate, blood pressure, digestion and respiration. http://www.livescience.com/4085-emot...men-women.html

Just to add a bit of my history and why I, too am learning about emotions.

AJ I guess you could say was raised in an environment where the woman, "the mom" was denied her emotions.. and that might be why he lacks understanding of women's emotions...

For instance, AJ's dad and his father were laughing in the kitchen. They were talking in their language, farsi and I say, "hey what is so funny" and AJ's dad said it was none of my blank blank business and he started to attack me, but his mother got between us and saved me from being pushed down the steps...

AJ was asmatic as a child.. WHen he needed to go to the doctor, AJ's dad would say there is nothing wrong with AJ and that it was all in my mind and that I was nuts. I get AJ to the doctor and the doctor asks why did I wait so long to bring the baby in for treatment..

If I expressed any emotion, being sad, tears, happy, "i guess these are emotions", AJ's dad would laugh and say I was nuts...many times in front of AJ...

SO I, too, learned to stuff feelings to survive or be safe...Which in the long run, kept me from enjoying life because I was numb but for whatever reason, fear didn't numb..shrugs shoulders..

I am thinking because AJ's g/f is "over the top" emotional, it woke me up.. If she was in the normal range of "emotions" it would never have phased me because I am thinking I needed to see the over the top emotions to realize I too have feelings..

These are just a few examples.. There are many more. Guess AJ learned that women that feel or think are nuts and that is why "to a degree" he thinks emotional women are nuts?

Just food for thought... no right... no wrong? Just thoughts

oo AJ's dad at that time owned a gas station. My car would stall at red lights so I ask him to look at my car. AJ's dad checks it out, says nothing is w rong with the care, it is all in my head and that I don't know how to drive. As I drive off, the car stalls and he laughs at me... AJ was of course with me.. This is kind of funny now, but not at that time because I was stranded in a snow storm, with winshild wipers that didn't work , trying to get to the pharmacy to get asthma meds for aj... Lordy what a life! We did not even have a phone. Took 2 years to get one.. It was not because AJ's dad didn't have the money.. He did not want me to have a phone...He'd attack me should I ask for one...because I did and he did... No wonder I am nuts////

Starting to think "stupid emotions" who needs them anyway...

I didn't read the rest of the thread here-- just the first initial post--
and I totally agree with AJ!!! and I'm a woman! seems to me a lot of times, some women can tend to make a simple thing MUCH more complicated than it is.
that's my opinion anyway......
Yep-- I agree AJ! sorry, mom

fins

(((radio flyer))) - hugs to you for sharing your deep feelings and how they pertain to your son. I'm sorry your feelings weren't validated when you were a young mom and I think you're very smart for seeing how your bottled up emotions affected your son. This is probably why his statement got your attention because you were told repeatedly "its all in your head".

You mentioned in another thread that AJ's GF is emotionally unstable. I think his blanket statement was out of fear and frustration...not knowing how to process all his GF's emotions. After all I've been through I'm still fair to men's issues. AJ also didn't have a good model of a relationship from seeing his father react to you. He should analyze whether this lady is the right partner for him. I can also see purple fins point that 'some' women do speak and act without fully thinking it through. Another valuable tool for all relationships is learning how to fight fairly and respect each.

((((((lynn)))))))) I don't recall saying aj's g/f was emotionally unstable. I do recall saying she was way over and above with her emotions. She started off flinging herself on the floor screaming and crying. She doesn't do that anymore after AJ's dad saw her doing that... She is over the top tho. Sorta have to dance around her to make sure we don't say anything to "upset" her... because she will go off ... I don't know if that is unstable or just over-reacting or drama? She can be very draining.....

I love men... I am fair to their issues too.. WOuld be a sad world without them. I was just "unlucky" in the love department.. But I can say I have loved and been loved. Unfortunately he died in an auto accident...So I've tasted both worlds.. The good, the bad and the ugly. Does that make it 3 worlds..smile.... I am happy.. I am not bitter... I have high hopes for AJ.. He is growing and changing for the "good".. Maybe it is "time" for me to be the over emotional woman... boy that would be too cool.... grins


purple fins... I guess some women go over the top with their emotions. AJ's g/f is one for sure.. But.. even the g/f's in the past, AJ would always say they are crazy.. l.... Maybe some women are nuts.. Maybe some men are jack asses.. Guess the variety is what make the world go around...

Perhaps those weren't your exact words ...I think I got this impression from a previous thread of yours. I still would classify her behavior as emotionally unstable. Here's your previous thread.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=198997

oops guess I did say that.. I forgot about that thread. ANd yes, she does some odd things and reacts way over the top. A handful for sure..She isn't all bad tho. She can be a lot of fun too...Or maybe I've just learned to "dance around her".. I dunno... Think I got lost in my own thread. lol.....Guess sometimes when she is over the top with her emotions I think of it as being "unhealthy" for her... I'm prob more "unstable" than she is.. She can atleast face the world.. earn a six figure income... hold a job... i dunno... maybe could say she does have "issues"..