I Never Thought I'd Say This, But...

...people can surprise you. That's right - for once, I am not enraged or upset or miserable. This is not going to be one of those threads. I am pretty awestruck, actually. This thread is about my Dad - a brilliant academic who left his maturity development (emotional) back at age six. He is very bright in a cerebral sense, however, when it comes to emotions and people, he is close to retardation, I would say. Anyway, in addition to all that, he dislikes women. This has been very difficult for me to deal with - I love my dad a lot, and there are a great many similarities between the two of us, and the fact that your father sneers at your gender is hard for a daughter to take. However, the adage I opened with comes into play - on Sunday, after attending services at our church, he donated to Womanspace, a local organization that helps battered and/or sexually abused women. In return, he received a set of candles, which they told him to put outside our house on December 12 and light, as a symbol of support for abused women. He was adamant that we do this yesterday evening, and so we did. The candles looked beautiful in the dark, and it really surprised me. I suppose it's possible that he is changing his views - he always seemed to view women as irritating, difficult, lesser-minded beings. This really got me thinking, and hoping. Here's hoping that, this holiday season, he's gained a bit more insight somehow.

Indigo, this is wild speculation on my part. Could his contempt of women be the result of frustration over watching a woman he was close to not stand up to her abuser?

Actually, you may have something there - my dad has very complex feelings towards his mother, who was abused by my grandfather (which is something that he and both his other brothers witnessed). I would be surprised if she did not stand up for herself, knowing what my grandmother was like. However, there are other factors involved in how my Dad remembers her (which I won't go into right now, but you probably get the idea). Very interesting that you asked me that - very perceptive.