I don't want to have another completely empty year like I did last year

Hey.

It's already March and I can feel myself drifting from day to day, and doing absolutely nothing.

For example, my day today was getting up at midday, taking the bus to the employment office, getting a pizza, on the internet maybe 4 hours, watching TV. And this is pretty much a typical day for me.

I'm early mid 30s and unemployed, so I have to work on getting a job at least, and instead all I'm doing is killing time, day after day, month after month.

How can I snap out of this complete rut?

This book has helped me in the past: http://wishcraft.com/

I feel you and send you a hug and lots of positive energy! At the height of the recession, our entire department was laid off.

From January 2009 to July 2011 I looked for a job. Every day, I sent out my CV or connected with friends through FB, networked, contacted Headhunters, etc. (I must have sent out over 350 CVs and Cover Letters). I was only contacted a few times and other than that I believe my information went to a location only the Hubble Telescope could detect Big black hole in the sky.

The situation is very, very difficult. I lost 2 1/2 years...and it all went by in a blur. I got increasingly despondent and depressed over that period of time ... to scary depressed.

Sorry, I am new here so I may be asking a question that you've been asked before but ... do you have a T that you can speak with?

Besides reaching out through here and connecting with all of these wonderful people, it really helps to speak with someone who is non-judgmental, that you can trust, and you'll get out for a 50-minute hour

For me, family and friends, although they felt bad about my situation, chalked it up to the poor economy and to just "keep trying". They had no idea what I was going through in terms of how it affects mood, self esteem, life, how depressing it gets and how isolated one becomes.

*The one thing I wish I'd had the opportunity to do more of is get out of the house. Even for an hour. The only interaction I had was an occasional convo with the lady at the local market or with the baristas at the coffee house. I isolated so much that it became pointless to leave the safety of the house, and it also did not help with agoraphobia, major anxiety, social anxiety, and C-PTSD issues. Especially when I got back out into the workforce (thankfully, I have the support here and of my T & P, along with a family member).

I know it's much easier said/written than done, but if you can, exercise your basic social skills IRT/L...you WILL find a job...but in the meantime, perhaps set little daily goals for yourself, and check them off the list each week And also if you are able, can you create a "vision board"? That helps a lot, too! (to have a visual of what you are working toward while you are in between jobs).

Good luck!! Please come back and let us know how you are doing.

I think I know what a vision board is just from the name. I have a 'to-do list' on my iPhone, but I stopped using it when i got depressed a couple of weeks ago.

I know what you mean about the depression. I didn't want to do anything at all. even doing laundry seemed like too much. Chewing felt like too much work! ( it sounds funny but it's true. I drank Ensures and ate frozen yogurt for months, because I couldn't be bothered to eat).

A vision board is fun because it's (sort of) a crafty activity. You cut out photos, words, visions, images, etc. from magazines of things you love (or used to love before the depression really hit) and your life as you want it to be, and glue everything to a poster board or foam core. And then, post it somewhere (i posted mine by the WC. HAVE to go there even when exhausted).

For instance, I used lots of old magazines and had pix of flowers, positive words that represented goals ("career", "job", "success"), clothing and shoes/bags that I liked, fav restaurants, people I admire, etc.

It helped keep a teeny piece of hope alive for me. No matter how depressed.

Live deliberately.

To be perfectly frank, you just got to get off your @$$ and do something. I have the same problem.

You do not want a to do list, because from my experiences, "I" do not enjoy being told what to do. So what do "I" want to do? Do "I" want a job, or am I telling myself I want a job?

You are 30. Being unemployed at your age should be a wake up call. Every 6 months of being out of a job means that you are losing the skills you have learned and are becoming less valuable to employers. You need to get out and find a job, ANY job. You have to start over and find an entry level job and work your way up. That's what my mom had to do when she quit her job. Now she is a 911 dispatcher.

In the mean time of finding a job participating in volunteer work is a perfect way to add skills to your resume. Animal shelters and food shelters always need volunteers.

It just takes willpower to shut down the computer to minimize your internet use. Get a timer, time yourself for 30 minutes, then take a 30 minute walk around the block, then time yourself again on the computer, then do something else for 30 minutes. I have never tried this, but it seems pretty straightforward.

There are plenty of things to do in your community. You can google it. All you have to do is get off the computer and go do it.

I just joined a couple weeks ago and don't know your history/background so please accept my (friendly) reply/input and also my perspective from experience:

It is easier said than done to get off your @$$ when you are depressed and virtually impossible when severely depressed.

In addition, although I agree with the premise that while out of work, it is easy to "lose skills" by not getting out, in this day and age, it's not simple out there like it used to be.

I would agree that it's important to get out of the house (if it's possible depending upon limitations); however, IMHO, I also think while tough love is useful on some occasions (in person, by a trained P or T) to help someone get a kick-start...however, here (for instance) making light of the situation (when someone says they are depressed) could make things worse for the person reaching out.

I wouldn't know, being both bipolar and suffered from self-injury and severe depression.

I hate to sugarcoat because it sounds fake, but here is my sugarcoated version of saying the exact same thing:

"Hi sweety, I know how it feels like to feel like you can't do anything, but it's just not true. One of my favorite expression to get me out of my depression is to "live deliberately."

To put it simply, it just means you need change your normal routine and do things differently. It may sound hard because I have the same problem, but you have come to the right place.

A to-do list can add extra pressure when trying to deal with depression, so just go at your own pace and just hope and "pray" for the best that things can go smoothly. The grass is always greener when you add food coloring.

I am so sorry to hear that you are unemployed. I wish for the best that you can find a job with your depression. I know how hard it is to work when you just aren't up for it, but the longer you are out of work, the harder it is to find work. When looking for a job, don't aim too high or you'll strain yourself mentally and physically. An entry level position is much more suitable and it will get you in the door for other work when your depression lifts.

Volunteer work is a great way to start work without running the risk of being fired. In fact, sticking to volunteer work is probably best for you with your state of mind and it will look good on a resume.

Reducing your internet time is a great goal, but incredibly hard to do when depressed. In fact, goals are incredibly hard to accomplish when depressed, so perhaps you should stick to something simple like reading a good book or sitting on your porch and staring at the sun (not to go blind, but being outside is clinically proven to make you 75% happier than being inside)

I will be "praying" for you and hope that you do find what you are looking for.

wow impressive frosting.

I'm gonna go to the dentist, cuz that post just gave me a few cavities...

hey illegal toilet
last year i was you...what got me thru everything was helping with my dog rescue. i knew i had to get thru my commitments i had made with them. the hounds needed me to show up as well as the people. not a whole lot else mattered.

i don't work but i do have to count every penny as i am on a disability pension...so i get the feelings of watching every penny.

i made sure i did my trips to the dr's, my t & the stuff for the dogs. if i felt up to it i would go & hike so i could take some photo's...but there were many days it was hard to even think about doing that.

it helped having the dogs & knowing i had them depending on me...because i had to drive & pick them up or run them places, pick up food etc..& then the rescue would pay for gas/time...it wasn't much but it helped.plus it got me out of the house & out in the real world some.

i think ya do what you can do...it took some time for me to climb back out of my hole & be able to function again...now i still do the runs, fostering, etc but i am also able to much more.

it sucks..do what you are able to...some days it will be more than others...i wish you the best...it is hard...

Thanks for your post. Who told you I was 30?

"I'm early mid 30s and unemployed, so I have to work on getting a job at least, and instead all I'm doing is killing time, day after day, month after month. "

It's May now and still very much unemployed. Going on 16 months of unemployment, not including some part-time assisted employment provided by the job agency.

My internet use is a big problem. I think I have to set a goal that I don't use the internet before 2pm on any given day. I was job searching until 12 pm today which is an improvement on recent efforts.

Looking back on my life and it's been a big waste of time. I'll put the productive years in bold.

1997 - College until July, failed mid year so unemployed for half of 97
1998 - College, failed end of year
1999 - College, passed first year
2000 - College, failed mid year, started year again in July
2001 - College, failed, quit in June. Unemployed for the rest of the year
2002 - Employed Jan to Mar, unemployed Mar to Sep, September started new job where I would stay for 2 years
2003 - Employed
2004 - Employed until September - quit due to bullying and anorexia
2005 - unemployed until august, temp work for 3 months,
2006 - temp work until June, part time work as well as full time work until June, part time work only for the rest of the year.
2007 - part time work only until December where I was fired due to health/anxiety problems
2008 - unemployed, lots of anxiety problems, worried i was dying
2009 - unemployed until mid 2009, anxiety better
2010 - employed until mid 2010, then unemployed until Nov, then employed for the rest of the year
2011 - lost my job in Feb. Unemployed since then.

So in the 15 years since 1996, I have:

1 year of school
4 and a half years full time
2 and a half years part time (some concurrent with the full time)

I'm desperate to stop this trend where I waste my life completely. It's basically like I'm in prison.

Wow, august and it looks like i will waste this year as well.

i was about to start a thread on this myself.

august all ready and i feel like i'm non existent

not moved forward at all

Wow August and my critical judgemental brother is coming to call. I better whip the house into shape! hahahaha! Sorry! Small daily goals...

I thought illegal toilet was a creative way of saying people kept sh***ing on you.