[avoice]

queen sealy mattress pillowtop only a couple years old nothing wrong with it besides urine stains quite a few urine stains needs deep cleaned I have no clue how to clean it properly so im just getting rid of it. no tears rips etc just very stained from toddler. FREE please reply to post for address will set out in front of the house first come first serve!! located in forney

• Location: forney In the Dallas Tx area

[carrie_ann]

ewwww, that's sick lol

I'm sure the poster had good intentions

[Timgt5]

At least they were honest.

[Timgt5]

Not that I try to take advantage of any of these, promise, but some of sex ads on that site make for fun reading. Some are so over the top and graphic, it makes you wonder if any of these people are serious or simply posting this stuff to see if any one actually responds, yipppes!

[Nicks_Nose]

Sometimes I wonder how true these ads are or if they are just trolling people.

[lynn P.]

Here a goody

Lost Shark

Date: 2012-03-13, 8:53PM PDT

Lost my shark today. Actually he escaped when I inadvertently gave him an opportunity. Had the back door open to cool the place off while he was hanging around. Made the mistake of opening the front door briefly and he shot out the back door. Tried to catch him while he swirled in a vortex above the deck, but the strong winds took through the trees and north. Last seen gaining altitude in a 20 knot breeze heading north of Ballard. Neighbors looked perplexed as he flew over their house. If you find him warm him up so he doesn't sink. It was quite the sad sight to see him get smaller and smaller as he blew away to the north

[lynn P.]

Another

Pet Cat for Hire

The Position

I'm hiring myself out as a pet cat to anyone who wants to own me. I truly believe I would make a great pet cat, much better than your typical cat. If you're interested we'll sign a one year contract, renegotiable at the end of the term. Basically, I'll provide all the services of a pet cat, while you pay for all my food and housing, plus incidentals.

Things About Me

I am at my best slacking off, sitting around the house, that kind of thing. Very much like a cat. My lifelong passion and hobby is napping, and my qualifications in this field are impecabble. Sometimes I change rooms or chairs, and sometimes I even go to the front window to see what's going on in the street. One of my favorite moments is the long drawn out yawn accompanied by a full body stretch. At nights I like to take a nip outside and prowl around town, getting back a bit before sunrise.

My Job Experience

1995-1998: lived at my parent's. No job whatsoever and lounged around the house. Performed these duties admirably.
1998-2000: lived at my sister's place with her fiance. Still no job, watched TV mostly from the couch, sometimes the floor. Achieved all goals and overcame all obstacles, gained the experience needed to move myself forward professionally.
2000-2004: lived at my girlfriend's. No job, lounged around in her backyard when she was away, curled up on her lap when she got home. Tough situation but rose to the occasion.
-references available

What I Will Do As Your Pet Cat

Basically my objective is to fulfill all the duties of a domestic cat. I promise to sit around the house all day doing nothing, catch naps, maybe watch some TV. I will NOT do any work whatsoever, nor will I pick up the phone. Since we cats like to stay clean I will have a long warm bath two times a day. When you come back after work, I will give you 30 seconds of affection, then go back to my nap. If you speak to me about what happened at work I will gaze impassively at the wall, and you will have no idea whether I am listening to you or not. I will largely ignore any friends or relatives you bring over.

What You Will Do As My Owner

Your job is to provide me with all the food I need to stay happy. (uhh, I'm a talented cat too so I know how to open the fridge and help myself to food, keep it stocked). Its also up to you to keep the place clean so I can find plenty of areas to sit and nap. As a potential owner you'll most definitely have a TV with satellite (like all cats I'm mesmerized by the moving things on the screen) that I'll be able to watch while you're at work. All medical/dental expenses covered by you the employer. I'm not your typical stay-at-home house cat so it's vital you leave a window open at night so I can go out and roam. Don't worry where I go, if it makes you feel better than leave me some spending cash on the table before you go to bed.


So how does that sound? If you are interested then send me an email

[lynn P.]

Any takers for this one

Penis Measuring

Date: 2010-03-02, 6:01PM PST

A friend of mine and I have been having a long-standing argument about whose penis is larger. We've tried having our girlfriends confirm to the other the exact size, but neither one of us buy it. I don't want to see his penis and he doesn't want to see mine. I don't want my girlfriend looking at his penis and he doesn't was his looking at mine.

So... We just need a girl to look at both of our penises (individually) and then to both of our faces say which one is bigger. We can't pay much. $50.

[KeepGoing8]

$50?! I'd do it...as long as its a straightforward visual comparison only

[carrie_ann]

Originally Posted by KeepGoing8

$50?! I'd do it...as long as its a straightforward visual comparison only

KeepGoing8 ... that's the first time i've laughed 2day

[lovemysons]

I put an ad on Craigslist looking for a WOMAN to share expenses and go on a cruise with me. I placed it under platonic. I also posted (HUGE MISTAKE) since I not an an ugly woman.

It was hysterical. I SAID PLUTONIC! I got pictures of men's penis (yes!) and men twenty years younger sent me pictures and offered to give me a good time. I didn't get ONE single woman. I got sick of looking at all the naked men. For goodness sake, I knew that these pictures were cut and pasted from some magazine. They were probably bald, fat 90 year old perverts sending them to me. I gave up on finding a room-mate on Craigslist.

[avoice]

Queen Size Bed and Couch - $100 (Irving)

Date: 2012-05-25, 2:53PM CDT
Reply to: 5thfb-3037933786@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Need to get rid of a Queen Size Mattress, BoxSprings, and Bed Frame. No headboard, but will support any Queen Size head board. Everything in decent shape, Mattress has a wine stain, but throw a Mattress cover and sheets on it, and none the wiser. Also have a beat to hell couch, but good for a college apt (better than that pizza box couch you made) or to throw in the garage and chill on. No bed bugs or anything like that. Moving from a 2bed apt to a 1 so we gotta get rid of this stuff. Decent deal for $100. You'll need to come and take it yourself, I don't have a truck or trailer to haul it in, sorry. No haggling... this isn't Traders Village. Take it or leave it. Waste my time and I'll sic my Chihuahua on you. Boom. I laugh so hard i wet my pants.

[avoice]

Now this one is really weird...
Free Aloettes:
I have an Alien Aloe. How do I know this? Because ever since the rover landing on Mars my aloe has been reproducing at an alarming rate. Unlike the effect of gamma rays on man-in-the-moon marigolds, which I only know of because I had to memorize some lengthy monologue in Ms. Bawanga's 10th grade drama class, this plant is real! These aloettes are about to come out of their pot and take over my kitchen. I'm pretty sure. PLUS we had a blue moon in July, the month of the rover landing, so DOUBLE WAMMIE!!!
You do the math! 2 moons + 1 rover landing = 6 aloettes. <<< THAT just DOESN'T add UP!
We only think the rover is sending back photos, but this plant is evidence there is more than data bits and pixels downloading from the Red Rover.

RED ROVER?!? Aww Ha! Another coincidence???? I think not ~ Red Rover Red Rover let Alien Aloes come over! Who knew Martians would be....GREEN Aloe!?! Another coincidence???
Always a grain of truth in myth and now you can share in the mystery with an Aloette from my Alien Aloe.

I will be in the Belo Garden tomorrow, Sunday, 11am to noon with my Alien Aloe. **IN THE EVENT OF RAIN - THIS OFFER WILL BE POSTPONED***TBD
I will have Aloettes for 6 people willing to risk the safety of their own kitchen with...an Alien Aloette.
I will be the one that answers to the name: Seymour.

*disclaimer: I have no direct evidence this plant is alienated, illegal or here on a work visa. All my claims could be false and should be considered to be outrageous and misleading. Except: I do have 6 Aloettes to re-home and I will answer to the name Seymour.

this is embarrasing, but i'm not even sure what craig'slist is.

[dillpickle1983]

Pet Cat for Hire

Date: 2012-01-13, 3:25PM PST



The Position

I'm hiring myself out as a pet cat to anyone who wants to own me. I truly believe I would make a great pet cat, much better than your typical cat. If you're interested we'll sign a one year contract, renegotiable at the end of the term. Basically, I'll provide all the services of a pet cat, while you pay for all my food and housing, plus incidentals.

Things About Me

I am at my best slacking off, sitting around the house, that kind of thing. Very much like a cat. My lifelong passion and hobby is napping, and my qualifications in this field are impecabble. Sometimes I change rooms or chairs, and sometimes I even go to the front window to see what's going on in the street. One of my favorite moments is the long drawn out yawn accompanied by a full body stretch. At nights I like to take a nip outside and prowl around town, getting back a bit before sunrise.

My Job Experience

1995-1998: lived at my parent's. No job whatsoever and lounged around the house. Performed these duties admirably.
1998-2000: lived at my sister's place with her fiance. Still no job, watched TV mostly from the couch, sometimes the floor. Achieved all goals and overcame all obstacles, gained the experience needed to move myself forward professionally.
2000-2004: lived at my girlfriend's. No job, lounged around in her backyard when she was away, curled up on her lap when she got home. Tough situation but rose to the occasion.
-references available

What I Will Do As Your Pet Cat

Basically my objective is to fulfill all the duties of a domestic cat. I promise to sit around the house all day doing nothing, catch naps, maybe watch some TV. I will NOT do any work whatsoever, nor will I pick up the phone. Since we cats like to stay clean I will have a long warm bath two times a day. When you come back after work, I will give you 30 seconds of affection, then go back to my nap. If you speak to me about what happened at work I will gaze impassively at the wall, and you will have no idea whether I am listening to you or not. I will largely ignore any friends or relatives you bring over.

What You Will Do As My Owner

Your job is to provide me with all the food I need to stay happy. (uhh, I'm a talented cat too so I know how to open the fridge and help myself to food, keep it stocked). Its also up to you to keep the place clean so I can find plenty of areas to sit and nap. As a potential owner you'll most definitely have a TV with satellite (like all cats I'm mesmerized by the moving things on the screen) that I'll be able to watch while you're at work. All medical/dental expenses covered by you the employer. I'm not your typical stay-at-home house cat so it's vital you leave a window open at night so I can go out and roam. Don't worry where I go, if it makes you feel better than leave me some spending cash on the table before you go to bed.


So how does that sound? If you are interested then send me an email

[hermitNeet]

One person posted "list your favourite anime" (as in the cartoons) for a w4m and people replied with animals. Mostly trolls sadly.

[avoice]

Glass Tobacco Water Bong (Cedar Hill) Really i'm gonna go buy this

Date: 2012-08-01, 8:39PM CDT
Reply to: mx7rm-3169079678@sale.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

2 Ft. solid glass tobacco water bong.

oringinally paid 1200.00 but willing to take best offer.

to big to continue to hide from the kids, so i must sell.

email or text me at 469-684-7501.

message will be deleted when sold!

[missbelle]

this wasn't on craigslist but was an ad long ago that appeared for the seniors