Daily Comments #7- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

I really need to have someone tell me that they love me.

You do angry much better than me. I could learn a thing or two from you. I am sorry this happened to you.

Think I stay at this place so one day I have a valid reason..'.... Not good thoughts right now .... Trying to be positive but this place, these people.I asked for a phone call because this isn't my job and had the previous shift just being chaotic and rambling..... and it's almost an hour later ...

What's that, brain? You're saying that barely sleeping, overloading my schedule, and eating junk food is starting to make you irritable?

Well, deal. I refused to get depressed again.

eta: flies are getting smarter. They know how to play dead. Dumb *****....

I agree! There is no honor among theives. Balls in the blender for that one! WHIRL

Seriously?!?
What the hell is the matter with people these days?!? And to think WE are the ones who are looked at with a slanted glance because of our issues! piece of $#IT!

Seems like the universe is in the mood to send us all nasty-grams!
Like we all dont have enough stress already dealing with our stuff!

Today maybe just for a moment, we all need to give 'em the middle finger salute and say LEAVE ME THE FU(% ALONE ALREADY!

Oh, and don't forget that we've used that word in a sentence
Smile, it WILL be ok.

Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets~ Spongebob Squarepants

Good post now

A bit ago I started to let Mr. boots use the living room window. He had the bedroom window before this. I put an extra chair by the TV stand because my s/o doesn't want mr. boots on there (TV, xbox,etc). Put the chair there That way he can jump up to the window without getting on something he's not suppose to. Well almost ever morning after some pettingsand wondering around with me, Mr boots will sit on his chair and wait for me to open the blinds. Just makes me smile, what a good kitty.
He messed up the bedroom blinds but for some reason he will wait for the living room ones to be opened.
My s/o says he'll sit on his chair and meow when he's home and the blinds are closed
little things

I feel anxious today again, doc upped my diazapam but it doesn't seem to be helping, i feel so useless, like i can't contribute to society because of my illness, it's a real guilt trip. Does any one else feel this way because of their illness?

sometimes i wonder.. if i get married and have kids someday, what are the possibilities of them developing a mental illness? because they say.. that mental illnesses could be because of genetic factors. what are the possibilities even? i don't want them to go through the same journey as me...

and i guess i also wonder, since i have clinical depression, would i be more susceptible to post partum depression?

why am i thinking so far fetched. :/

I love the rain. This morning it was raining so hard that it was like a sheet outside, obscuring the view a little...so I put on my jacket and crocs over my pjs and went out to put the tomato pots under the stairs. And it was just so nice and refreshing. Good way to start the day.

I am in a loving mood this evening.

Want to send everyone hugs ((((everyone)))))

Wish the Sun would come out so I would be more motivated to get out for a nice long walk.

All these people on the bus just need to relax and let me tickle them.

Everyone needs a good tickle now and then!

Need to study for a test tomorrow. Heart is pounding. Time for Xanax because everything else has failed. It would be nice to actually focus on studying, lol.

I just got yelled at by my teacher and they both exchanged conversations about how they were upset with me. All I did was ask how I've performed so far in class since today was the last day. I got excited and i just started talking to her. Then she yelled at me and said I was harassing her and then I asked her once again. She yelled at me and suggested that I ask her politely and that I did not know how busy she had been and everything. I did not expect this to happen at all. Of all the days that teachers have scolded, it's always the last day. I think the reason was that she probably did not want me to attend her college workshop which will be held if the counselors approve of it because it covers a lot of college applications and everything and she probably does not want me there. After she yelled at me, she had a pleasant chitchat with another teacher that I knew that was a friend of hers. I said well I wasn't being rude. It was merely a question. You have to snap at me? Then they admitted that they were stressed out. If you're truly stressed out, you should at least try to maintain your positive attitude, not make them cry right in front of you. They just told me not to take it personal and everything. I did not like that. when i told them how I felt, they just fell silent.

I would cry when I was young. when:

my seventh grade algebra 1 teacher told me that i should not be so demanding even if you're not God's gift.
my fifth grade teacher who said who would want to marry you, and things like that.

I felt like all these years I've been hated by God. If not, then why do I suffer? Why don't people treat me as if I were one of their own? No, to them, I'm dirt. Just like earlier when I said well i've been there for people but they have always shrugged me off. Yeah, that's great. No it isn't.

My head feels like it is sleeping but I'm awake....hate that feeling..rar!

Thanks for this, I added it to my toolbar so I can visit often.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------eh!


I have things to say---but---.......

Adrenaline is pumping.

Heartbroken, but sure that i am doing the right thing...am i? Am i really doing the right thing? Am i just angry? Was T being professional, or reacting in a personal way too? I hate her so much right now.
This sucks.

Uncertain of how physically busy I want to be today. I'm thinking of going to a 16 step meeting before the food bank but it's an hour each way, plus an hour and a half for the meeting, and I have a toolkit dropin meeting at my ED program later today so I'll have to head out again on top of it. But if I do go it'll give me lots of time to read my book, which I never really make time for unless I'm on public transit. Decisions, decisions...