Daily Comments #7- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

I wish more people would act civilized and take part in shaping the world.

I'm fine now. It was a neighbor of mine. She's angry about the couch that was in the dumpster, last week. And, though I didn't do it, my furniture change was at the beginning of the year, she approached me, because I needed to toss something that wasn't a plastic bag of trash in the dumpster. And I didn't care for her tone with me.
Then, when I said fine, I'll curb it, because the town will pick up one piece a week, she asked if that was even legal. It's just what I wanted to toss, I didn't want anyone to take as a free item on the curb, like so many people do, which forced me to put a sign, please don't take this home. She said, 'well, there, there's your ONE piece'.

Mom issues, I do have, and some women aren't even my mom, if that makes sense?!

Hope your day got better?!

gonna have a good day...gonna have a good day... gonna have a good day....i love these lyrics but i hate it when it's stuck in my head. i hate when that happens.

Took a break and now I'm taking a break from my break. Where did all my tools disappear to over the winter?

I'm at the stage of life where I feel like I'm attracted to the same gender. I blame it on reading a book about people who were attracted to others of the same gender. They talked about how these guys never felt loved and everything and then later they just had feelings for each other. i felt like that's the reason that i'm attracted to the same gender. If I had not picked up that book, I don't know if I would still be interested in the same gender. Isn't that unusual to experience?

got that old tired of it all feeling again

Cant decide if I am more tired or lonely...or just tired of being lonely.
Either way I am tired.
I need some serious sleep!

I had a weird dream last night. But I can't remember it. Something about strawberries and trying to get a ride back to Kamloops before they went bad so I could make them into jam.

Do not get stuck in a "tire war" because your father asks your sorta boyfriend (who you are getting along with not at ALL and who ALWAYS thinks he is right...now my father knows NEVER to put me in that position again, WTH) to help you pick out your new tires (which I have done myself, why am I incapable NOW??) and then your father who is actually paying for the tires.
And it's my bday, which I don't care about, I just want to be left alone.
I also don't care about tires at the moment...even though my sorta boyfriend can't imagine me not wanting "peak performance for my car." Dude, keep the high testosterone moments to yourself. No one can even put them on today. It's called making an appt.

I feel a bit better than yesteday, but not as good as i would like to feel

focus focus focus focus focus focus.......

i have a lot of gratitude for the past 6 months.....i fell deep and it snuck up on me, i mean damn a year ago i would barely even shower on a daily basis, cry everyday, wondered what the point in breathing was, jobless, hopeless etc......

I work, i even go out and play on rare occasions with friends (which is better than never), i shower everyday, I started college again...... I dont really cry that often....

Now granted I have my days where I dont do a damn thing but shower, and I catch myself almost falling into the mind trap again but I bounce back.....I think all the books I read, quotes, and images I use that carry that mental push forward really do work...it just took time to sink in and strike a cord.....I still have a long way to go but man I just realized how far I have come.......I just need to stay focused and keep going....tired...hurt....people putting me down....parade rainers...naysayers.....negativity.....NOPE....I am still going to get up and make today mine because today I refuse to frown...I refuse to not make steps towards a better tomorrow.....

Realized, over the past month, I use the expression 'I Need....." often. And it's effective. Wish I knew this, when I was much younger, my first time around, as a boss.

It used to be a little 'inside joke' between myself and some others, when I was in college; I majored in management, but minored in Behavioral Science...

My friends and I went to a comedy club one night, and the comedian asked me, what I was studying. Oh God! He said!! You are managing people with that minor?!!?

Yeah....I AM!!!

trying to get up the energy to go on a walk, it's only 2 miles one way. My medication makes me tired and I have gained weight because of my medication and lack of exercise.I keep binge eating too that doesn't help my situation at all.

I love integrative energy healing so much. It's done wonders for my recovery.

Had a brief head pounding episode today. Mom had an appointment this afternoon and had been stressing about it since early this morning. She got up early thinking she was already late and when I got home from work she was ready and waiting to go immediately even though it was two hours early.

i am really super anxious today. i havent felt this way for a long time. i even took klonopin to calm down and it doesnt seem to be helping much. first day back to work after a two week vacation that was very stressful. had many messages to return. took care of a personal issue regarding my son being arrested and a great atty i know is going to help him out. you would think i would feel better but i feel more stressed. i even went out and bought a pack of cigarettes which i havent done since march. i am so tense i hurt.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

The walk today felt amazing. So nice to be moving my body again after so long being incapacitated. And the entry I've been working on for the blog I'll be guest authoring is coming along nicely. I dunno...just feeling really good today. It's a nice change after a couple of fairly stressful weeks. When I feel this way I just wish I could lift everyone up with me into the happiness.

Still lonely as hell but since I am stil healing its probably all for the best.
Ispoke to my cousin via FB and found out that our family is littered with addicts of various sorts, and its all emotional needs not being met.
She suggested AA for me even though I am not an alchie, because it's an emotional thing that I need and she did too....but she was an alchie and told me alot about the support she received from AA.
I may have to check that out.

Some cuteness

Sometimes I dislike it when a pdoc appt goes something like this:

Pdoc: how were you last week?
Me: not too good.. a little bit down.
Pdoc: on a scale of 1-10 with one being the lowest and ten being the highest, how were you last week?
Me: 2?
Pdoc: how are you today?
Me: urm... 6?
Pdoc: no, in words please.

?!?!?!?! Dearest pdoc, do you want words or numbers??

It makes me go "-_-" all the time.

Sent from my crazy phone using Tapatalk 2

I am so utterly discontent today. I am in a limbo state. I havent been out, dont want to, but I did say thank you for my food and the roof over my head, I have remembered to be grateful.

Hey scumbag... you weren't stealing internet from the giant faceless corporation... you were stealing it from me. Now I'm stuck with having new cables run and ports replaced and all the rest of the things you screwed up. Eat **** and die...

To the person who stabbed my tire with some kind of knife-like object the night before my birthday, THANKS and I hope the rest of your year is crappy, because what goes around comes around.
Mine already was going to be crappy without your help, you creepy, nasty ****.