Daily Comments #7- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

It does go by pretty fast and before you know it, it's already over, and you wish you could turn back time, but the clock is ticking.

i guess i'll seek shelter from the storm for now. i just need some refuge from these feelings.

and a random thought: i'm buying sanity with money. hm.

Oh my goodness, people say you can't do this, you can do this... blah blah blah I might as well try what I feel is right for me. I have no damn cleanser, I might as well just use warm/cold water for now to wash my face. It's the same with everything, I give up researching about things I want to know about. I don't really like google. I can't eat or I can't do this.... I will do what I like thank you very much.

Calling me sexy, gorgeous etc in every conversation isn't trying to making me confident. Only I can help myself. He doesn't seem to understand. He thinks that is making me confident. He has called me that loads of times and I am still in my depressive ways sometimes. what frustrates me even more is that he kept doing this when he was with his gf. I felt sorry for her.

We had our last DBT group today. I hope they schedule the next one in the series at a time I'll be able to take it. They are just finishing that one with another group so it will be a couple weeks before I hear anything. It would be nice. I like the people in the group. I'll miss them.

why i cnt push thank hug?

christina aguilera's songs are pretty depressing but can be relatable. bruises fade...this has nothing to do with me but i feel like the pain remains the same. sometimes songs are intended to mean relationships, but i take it to mean pain and all the crying i've done in middle school. many times when i rehash the same stuff, it can be pretty painful. it's like reliving the past.

i remember in 7th grade one of the subs was a total jerk to me. I cried because he made me upset by defending others against me. I was pretty upset. I cried and had to wipe my mucus on my sweater. Wow, can't believe it. To remember this is painful. Why can't I stop remembering it? My whole life seems to be flashing before my eyes.

Can't believe I thought he was different. Ugh. And the mere thought of anything that sounds like his name or his usernames/IDs... ugh. This is horrible.

It is fascinating how nature works. As it rains above the trees, the trees shelter you from the rain. When it stops raining above the trees, it begins to rain beneath the trees as they dry off.

It is such a lovely day outside today. Yet I would really like a good thunderstorm to come through. So long as there's not too much lightning and no tornadoes.

I have a fear of getting strike by lightning. Yesterday, I rescheduled an appointment because I did not want to go out in the storm.

I remember how one time this girl told me that I smelled bad. I remember how when she saw me, she would go eww my eyes hurt...she probably thought I was ugly. Wow.

speaking of smelling bad, last year the guy who sat behind me told me that i stank. he waited til the end of the year to inform me and i was like all this time you could have told me because then i would have brought deodorant. Omigosh..he was all like i don't want to offend you or anything and i'm like why would i be offended at a silly little thing like that? even i think i smell. gosh, why don't others have bad odor?

my voice carries, huh? Does it really?

another depressing rainy cloudy day in the Northwest. It's suppose to be nice on Fri-Tuesday so I can't wait. Think I will go out in the rain anyway.

I could use a chiropractor right now to get the kinks out of my back

damn... it is so freaking hot here. The sun will burn you right through your shirt. And bake your brain through your hat

food for the potluck I brought deep fried chicken and orange and pistachio fluff and potato salad. There were tacos and sloppy joes and veggie salads, veggie casseroles with tator tots, potato chips, strawberry pie, brownies, chocolate chip bars, dessert fluff and lots of my neighbors I've never met, but I wasn't allowed to eat any of them.

Mmm fried chicken and potato salad I would have tried the pistacio/orange thing just bc I love pistachios. Home made choc chip cookies??? Maybe with pecans?
Oh and veggies are good too
Why weren't you allowed to eat any of your neighbors??? :P

Well it was a church pot luck, and that's not part of this particular religion.

Ok... that was a real LOL... don't get too many of those for real

Thanks George! I've been feeling invisible, so if that gave you a laugh it's great!

Your abundance is my abundance. Celebrate the abundance!

I feel an earnest and humble desire, and shall do till I die, to increase the stock of harmless cheerfulness.
Charles Dickens

Abundance Prayer

When I am afraid, I ask myself:
How can I give more to life?
When I am tangled in past regrets
or frightening stories of the future,
I bring myself into the present moment
And know that I am safe.
When I am tempted to complain
I choose praise and gratitude.
I take a deep breath.
I look around and see
How rich I am in the things that count.
I look within and see my unlimited potential
I realize that every moment is filled with blessings
and every day I am alive
is a gift to be grateful for.
I remember that God is my Source
and abundance is reflected
in the faces of the people I love
and in the faces of those
I have yet to learn to love.
Eternally, this abundance says:
Every family is my family.
Every success is my success.
Every bride is my beauty
and every bridegroom my Beloved.
Every child is my new beginning
and every elder is my life ripe with experience.
Every dawn is my new day.
Every sunset is my world turning.
Every season is good
and offers its bounty to me.
Every moment is mine to embrace
for it is the Eternal Now
forever expressing in, through, and for me.
I live in the Forever Here
that is alive in all.
Translucent grace shines in us,
awake and aware of the beauty we are
as we become all we were meant to be.
And so it is.

Anyway lately I've been fighting harder to not fall back into a deep depression and stay focused ......I've been having this weird numbing tingling like sensation in the middle of my forehead since the beginning of June...I had the same sensation but way more intense during my psychotic episode in the fall of 2011....so I'm a little concerned not to mention its an annoying sensation that makes it hard to focus sometimes....occasionally I wonder if its associated with migraines but when I get a migraine and the migraine goes away the sensation is still there ....so I'm thinking its more anxiety related....which pisses me off..but stuff like above helps me through

Wow! I actually used a natural product for my face. The first thing I saw when I woke up, was less spots unless the mirror is fooling me. My skin looks healthy too. There's still some spots but hopefully, they will fade as time goes on.