Daily Comments #7- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

What is so difficult about making a doctors appointment? Such an easy thing to do for most. Why is increasing daily pain preferable to seeing a doctor and having a few tests done? Thinking out loud... in a virtual way.

really wish i could actively participate in PC these days but i just don't feel motivated to do anything much. just want to retreat to my corner and isolate myself. *sigh*

(with that said if i miss anything out, like a reply or somewhere along that line, please pardon me as i try to get my life back in order..)

Think my tv remote control is now being washed in the washing machine. I washed the blankets and forgot to shake them before putting them in the washer.. Remote is missing.... dummy me

For eggsinfinitum, on preventing bitterness:

I can't guarantee that this will work. But here are a few thoughts you might want to repeat to yourself, when what this person does starts to try to eat at you:

-Whoever she is, she is stuck with herself. She has to face herself in the mirror, try to sleep at night, and will eventually, I am pretty sure, have a moment or two in her life where she is face-to-face with all the rotten things she's done, including hurting you. And, hopefully, these realizations hit her sooner rather than later. And also, being stuck with herself, as she is, does amount to a kind of punishment for her, already.

-She is NOT enlightened, obviously. Therefore, she is probably a pretty miserable creature. You, on the other hand, are not. You are lightyears beyond her in the thought, and kindness, departments. That should help make you feel better.

-IF she feels she needs to continue to be a crank in regards to you, she has lost a great opportunity already to have a better life. Her loss, NOT yours.

I have had people be gratuitously cruel to me, repeatedly. And I have spent a lot of time shaking my head and wondering why. The bottom line is, though, that nothing I say is likely to change them---and for that, I feel sorry. For they are doomed to wander the earth in a fairly miserable state. Deep down, usually only very broken and lonely people behave that way. If they will not 'let you in', there's not much you can do, but feel sorry for them.

Bitterness can only make you sick, as well.

It's so much better to see things through a different lens.

And for spondi (and anyone else who enjoys revelling in the beauty of the cosmos):

Astronomy Picture of the Day
Astronomy picture of the Day, sponsored by NASA

Click on the blue line to get to the pages

enjoy

I have no idea what to do.
There is someone I am interested in....I just can't help but smile and be happy every time I see her. I know she is divorced and I know she isn't seeing anyone; just not sure if she would go out with me or not. I am so close to asking her out to lunch but just can't quite do it for the fear of being shot down.
But I often say things in honesty when talking to her so I may ask her to lunch before my brain can stop my heart from doing it!

I'm going to take a test to become a certified environmental lab technician and then I'll get a pay raise. I have until November to study good. I look forward to this.

There are some mental illnesses that are internally stigmatized by psychiatry. It is revolting, especially for a helping profession. They really need to address the stigma, they have created. Once they do that, care will improve along with mainstream views on mental illness.

Be a duck and quack...quack quack

We didn't go....but is ok.

now if only sleep will come

My head sort of hurts

Randomness

Soooooo tired today...haven't felt this out of it in awhile

Found out it's strep throat. Last night was scary. The pain was so incredible I thought for sure I'd have to go to the hospital. But I was able to fall asleep through some miracle.
One thing that being sick has done for me is forced my hand at laying low and resting, taking it easy. I've basically been home all week, other than a couple of appointments - ED group, doc, etc. I plan to be home all weekend. It's been nice in a way, other than the physical torment, to have a reason not to do anything. I hope I can sustain a part of it, the part the recognized the need to let go and do nothing. I have such a hard time with that. Everytime I think about doing something good for me I go into a panic: it's wrong. It's selfish. It doesn't matter. Nothing's real anyway.
It happened today. About everything. Being a writer, working on my next novel, improving my relationship with food. All of it. My spiritual path. Sometimes I really hate having my mind.

I am so loving the beautiful weather here in England right now.
I find it lifts my mood even though I get too hot but there is something about the beautiful sunshine that I love, I hope this weather continues

The night is alive. Things are moving outside: the wind in the trees, the light filtering through them. Everything takes on a different quality, the quality of Mystery...

Last night, I went to the Asperger's Syndrome women's group and met a biology student, who was a joy to converse with. She loves plants and knows a bit about fungi. I went mushroom hunting just prior to the meeting, so I had a few specimens of Agaricus with me. She was fascinated with them, when I showed them to her.

A similar interest makes conversation so much easier. Without it, I never know what to discuss. In these situations, I let the other person lead the conversation. Yesterday, I did not have to do that.

We exchanged email addresses so hopefully we will discuss more biology in the future.

My brain is awake. My body is not.

i really need to get back on my feet asap. i still want to retreat to my corner... haven't really been contacting friends. is this a sign

My s/o is watching this, you tube review on the newer xbox...... I don't game but I agree with a lot if the guy's points.

He's (the YouTube guy) rather ruffled though, reminds me with me and work with injustices things.....take a breath man...

Got that mental disconnect feeling thing going on and I don't like it

Making soup right now so the whole house smells really wonderful. And I'm making Mediterranean food for dinner. I may be sick as hell right now, but at least I can still taste stuff.

Wish I had a great big common space where I could get a bunch of trusted creative friends together on a regular basis, to talk and laugh and share ideas...like the salons of Europe before the turn of the last century.

That would be awesomeness.

I am sick today. Food I ate yesterday did not sit well with my problematic digestive tract. Medicine does not seem to be helping. Somehow, I have to manage to do the laundry, ironing and cleaning so that I'm ready for work tomorrow.

I'm starting to get a little sleepy right now. I remember all the incidents vividly. I remember how when I was in grade school I encountered a lot of people that I was not very fond of. the principal's assistant was a total jerk. the teachers I had were somewhat okayish, but they were overall not so great. My fourth grade teacher confessed at the end of the year that had it not been for third grade teacher, I would never have been placed in her class and everything. I knew she didn't want me in her class. Even in the beginning of the year when i was talking about some other teacher she was all like,"You want to be in her class?" I told her "no." She wasn't really fond of me.

all my life I've wanted to be the one with the nice clothes and handsome looks and everything. Sometimes I wish I had arms that attracted the opposite gender or something.

Honey, don't confuse my youthful appearance with naiveté and ignorance!

And certainly, I could deal without your apparent superiority complex. Lived in this town, going on a decade, honey, how about you? Do you know who the people in your neighborhood, are?! I do.....

Not sure what happened healingme4me, but I hope you are feeling better now.

Mom just drives me nuts some days. She was always stubborn, but now she's stubborn and confused. It just drives me nuts.