People Ignorant to MH Issues

Maven, one of my biggest regrets, is that back when I attempted college (and twice failed to see it through) I didn't put my head up and just ask for her. Honestly? If you don't, and you suffer for it, you may find it ends up being one of your regrets. They shouldn't make your problem obvious; if you simply explain to them that you would rather it were kept private and discretion used, then it should be kept as such, but I can't speak for your college; mine was OK, and the tutor I had was understanding.

Lol. Just saw your edit "reason". That's something I sing in a really not masculine way, sometimes, because it's funny! xD Ever seen that movie Anger Management? They sing it in the car, and it's a funny as heck scene; I think it has Adam Sandler in it. Brilliant movie.

All, I just wanted to thank you all again for the support; I'm pretty gob-smacked at the fact so many think the way I do about this.

Does anyone remember a mentally disabled kid at one of your old schools, back in the day? If so, do you remember having any understanding of what was wrong? I look back, and I really just had no clue - nobody ever really explained why they were different, which I think only worsens the separation between the mentally healthy people and those with problems, especially those with visible problems.

some people don't get some things...wisdom/empathy/tolerance...they are the lesser for not possessing those. it seems wrong to dig at them for their lacking but you can try to enlighten them. if you can't...dismiss them. plenty of better folk out there to know.

Oh, I get that all the time. Or, "Do you need to see your doctor?" It can't be a genuine emotion, can it? So what if the cat died? If I'm crying, it has to be because I'm nuts.

I don't think lynching people is funny. I use this site and would never even think to kill someone like that, no matter what they said. It might help you to tune out what upsets you if you accept that some of the people who go on and on about how they are so strong and never get upset are also mentally ill and such denial is part of their own illnesses. I say this because I have known a few very ill people who are as you describe. Just because their illnesses makes them unpleasant and seemingly unsympathetic isn't a good reason to be unkind to them in return. It is better to avoid such people if they upset you and not to advocate violence. I'm not interested in dating anyone, but if I were, I would prefer dating someone mentally healthy. That's my honest answer, one I think it is better not to sugar-coat.

IceCreamKid, I understand your feelings, but in Akuma's defense, I think the word "lynch" was meant figuratively, not literally. But avoiding an intolerant person rather than commit physical mayhem, well, yes. And the idea that the person making the intolerant statement could very well have a mental illness and be in denial about it, that's insightful. I hadn't thought of it that way.

Now let me make the case that someone can both have a mental illness, and be mentally healthy. If the illness is in remission or is being managed well, I'd say both are true. Likewise if an addict has been clean and sober for a continued amount of time.

Akuma, that's the movie I was thinking of when I typed my edit reason. I try to put funny things in the line for your reason for editing, because I'm not sure of the point of giving a reason for editing. It sounds like they think you're hiding something. Oh, you're deleting that? Are you embarrassed by the truth? I love Adam Sandler, and I've seen Anger Management several times!

Yes, there were people I remember from school who were different, physically or mentally handicapped (or both). In fact, I ran into one of them at the supermarket a couple of weeks ago. She had buck teeth and some learning problems. Then there was a girl named Estrella (Spanish for "Star"). I don't know what ever happened to her, but she was deformed and I think cognitively impaired. She had a twin sister who was quite attractive, who left school to get married and have a baby (or maybe it was her second, I can't remember). I remember thinking she was awful young for that, probably about 15 or 16.

I've gotten it. Like people asked me where have I disappeared to and I tell them I was hospitalized.. and they go "why?"

"Oh. Urm. Depression."

And then they go "oh. Ah, I get suicidal thoughts too. Don't worry. I made through it and you're just fine.

What irks me more is people who has the same mental illness as you but waves it off like it's nothing. One of my friends who has clinical depression tells me when we finally meet up (the previous meet ups were cancelled because I was too lethargic, too moody and too suicidal) "don't tell me you're tired.. next time you need to find something to do, like me! I'm obsessed over anime now so I don't need those pills and therapy."

Another friend compares it to me. Considering my symptoms has gone long on for years untreated and she got treated immediately.. she nonchalantly tells me "you're ok. Snap out of it.. See, my seroquel dose got decreased! So be happy and soon you'll be off your meds!" Like as if it's so EASY to be happy. If it was I don't think I would have depression!! *sigh*

but maybe it's cause it works for them and the other ways didn't... can you blame somebody for coping mechanisms? especially if they seem to work for them?

Herethennow, I think you brought up something really important to the mix. I've also been told similar things like that, and I'm sorry to say that I'm maybe a bit guilty of it, too. As someone who's recovered from self-harm, I've certainly tried my hardest to inspire them, advise them, and other things, but for all I know, I've been coming out with insensitive remarks that have made them angry; I usually get a positive response when I'm trying to help someone like that, but it is something I take into account a lot more than I used to, as the last thing I'd want to do is upset them; I want to help them.

I certainly don't, nor have ever, waved off OCD, depression, sleep issues, or anxiety issues (what I have) as though they're nothing, and I similarly get irked by how some people can have that attitude towards MH issues they themselves have had or currently have.

VenusHalley, if the coping mechanisms are directly damaging to them, then it's not a good idea, in my opinion - such as self-harmers using self-harm as a solution, or alcoholics using alcohol as a solution, etc - but otherwise, I can totally appreciate a coping mechanism, as I know I have quite a few, myself.

Maven, you rock. Sing with me, now!

I feel pretty! I feel pretty! I feel pretty! And Witty! And gaaaaaaaaay! I used to sing that in my not-so-masculine way while my dad was driving, with the windows open; naturally, we got some funny looks.

You remember seeing that person, but do you remember or understand what was wrong with them? When I say school, I mean when you were a kid, since I forget US folk refer to college/university as schools, whereas us UK folk tend to just say college/university. :P I remember back in secondary school, I would occasionally see disabled kids, and they'd be within a group, all with problems, and nobody ever actually says "This is what that is, and this is what they struggle with..." etc.

I was replying to the post above me.



Because in a way, you want to convince yourself you are fine and it is all fine. Hence why I find the various "oh horrible, devastating life threatening illness" sayings as melodramatic and try to be the "human spirit prevails" promoter instead. I certainly like empathy, but I prefer "you will get through" to a freakout and "oh poor you" and any illness talk when I am having hard time.

Ah I think I missed out a part haha coz it went something like "My obsession cured me, you need one too. All these therapy and pills won't work at all you don't need them. All you need is an obsession."

I guess I'm the type who does not like comparison much.. my bad on my part.

That being said since we're comrades in a similar war it should be easier to understand.. but all you get back is frustration.

maybe pills and therapy made them personally worse... so they are bitter at it? And they don't want you to suffer? (to be honest, I am sceptical of these things myself... so I feel awkward when peeps mention them as something they hope in).

I'm on meds, but I am a bit anti-med. I think all other avenues (short of shock therapy and stuff like that) should be taken before going on meds, because the meds can altar your body to need them. I went off all meds (I weaned all them off over a two-year period, under the supervision of my pdoc), and everything came back--the panic, the OCD, the anxiety--like a tidal wave. I was never like that off meds in the early days. I never stayed off meds for long, but it wasn't like that. I'm convinced the meds have done this to me.

Also, meds can have side effects, some of which can be permanent, even if you get off the meds.

In response to the medication, I take meds but I hate meds. They don't solve anything at best they just cover up symptoms while taking the medication but when you stop it all comes rushing back and sometimes worse than before the meds. I understand I need my medication to better take care of myself and my children but I loathe it. I changes you whether you want it to or not. Yes, I definitely function more "normally" and I suppose at this point in my life that is a good thing and I am thankful. I do believe if I didn't have children I probably wouldn't be taking the medication or at least the mood stabilizer. I was not med compliant before children and that is why I had so many inpatient hospitalizations but I liked myself better with the mood swings because I felt the highs and the lows. On medication I have just this one mood that I do not particularly care for and more toward the negative and depressive. I am not saying that medication in general is a bad thing. I know that medication can make a world of difference to some and I think that is wonderful that it can positively help so many. In fact I may actually be envious that some find happiness with the help of medication unfortunately I am not one of the "lucky" ones. I always faired better with the combination of medication and therapy but at this point I can't seem to find a therapist. Where I recently moved to seems to not cater to those that must rely on medicare and medical assistance. There are many therapists in my county just not ones that will take my insurance. The few that do take my insurance are not taking any new medicare patients at this time and I couldn't even get on any waiting lists. Even the health department, social services, and human services where of no help. I did call the local chapter of NAMI who are trying to help me find someone and I am hoping they do. I have been trying to find someone since February when I moved here and I know I have easily called over fifty people to no avail. It certainly doesn't help that I had to move in with my parents because of some physical health issues and required more assistance and they have never been ok with my mental illness. I believe they see it as an embarrassment and even possibly a failure. My mother once told one of my doctors, she didn't get it from us, it doesn't run in our families. When I told her that I wasn't having any luck finding a therapist she replied then I must not need one. I don't think she understands how helpful it can be. What boggles my mind is after all these years, four failed suicide attempts, and too many to count inpatient hospitalizations, she still doesn't get it.
I apologize for rambling on. It was not my intention for this to be so long. I suppose since I have no one to talk, once I started it just kept coming out.

Cherry, don't you be sorry for rambling. Most of us here have done it and some of us do it rather frequently (guilty!). I am in complete agreement with you over meds. I'm on Medicare, too, and have had problems finding doctors and therapists. Right now, I'm seeing the only pdoc in the area, and when I was young, I swore I would never go back to him. My previous pdoc retired (but she wasn't doing me much good, anyway), and other pdocs are much further away. I will say my current pdoc is open to trying different meds (although I wonder if it's because he gets kickbacks for all the meds), but no therapy. I've never had a therapist who did any OCD or anxiety/phobia/panic therapy.

My mom tries to get it, but she doesn't, and never will. I realize that. No one gets it. My bf thinks he does, but he's shown himself to not always get it. When my dad was alive, I sat down with him and tried to explain my panic disorder and how it's not something I control. (I know there are techniques, and I use them, but once an attack is going on, it's hard to get it back under control.) I explained to him how when I have a full-on panic attack, I run screaming. He told me if I ever screamed, he'd slap me in the face. Sometimes, you have to give up trying to explain to people who can't or won't get it.

A thought just crossed my mind: has anyone had any experience with doctors actually showing a complete and utter lack of understanding and tact? Just wondering, because it's one thing when Joe Bloggs behaves like some of the above people have experienced, but when it's a doctor, it can go a lot deeper. I'm not just talking about mental-health doctors, but the others as well - even the dentist.

I usually find doctors are understanding, but I have seen a couple that were just seriously lacking. My previous GP was quite good, but there were times when I found him rather questionable. I was once sat in his office with my dad, and the subject came up of what I had done to my wrist some months ago (this was a good few years ago, now) and he just completely disregarded it - never-mind the scar, never-mind that it was a suicide attempt - he just damn near shrugged it off and didn't even pursue it! I was angry - this was my doctor, the man of whom I came to rely on for medical support?