[-jimi-]

I've had a terribly stressful time on so many levels. I foolishly pride myself on not losing my temper, keeping a calm and sometimes a cheery approach.

Too much and I even broke down and cried in front of a friend. Online I have made snide comments and not being very kind. It's not like many see the difference, aspies can be rather blunt even if they don't mean to (and wrongly be accused of being rude on purpose), but I can feel the difference inside. I feel like I've been wearing a porcupine suit. I can tell when I'm bad on purpose and when people just think I'm bad when I mean well.

Anyway, several people have verbally thanked me for posting. It has meant a lot and made the disconnect less. Defused the anger and frustration.

On a site like this, everyone cannot like each other. It is fine. But I have noticed people being almost mean to each other. And instead of backing off, I have thought, they are allowed, so maybe I'm allowed too?

I probably would not have had that thought if I had not been broken down by stress. But I needed to get my frustrations out. Yet again, you might not even noticed, I'm just one of hundreds of active users, but still I have noticed and I think it's my duty to follow my inner morals whether it has a true effect or not on the mental climate here.

Not that I think I need to be cheery. No one has to be if they don't want to be. But have a base in meaning well, in some sort of supportive, kind approach. Not being negative toward others.

My big stressors are over for now. I can see things more clearly now, and I see that many here are fine people. Some day I might even make real friends here.

If I have been short or bad to anyone because of my crappy mood, I apologize. It's not fair to let things spill over like that. It is better to talk it out, what really bothers you. I will try that next time because life is full of stressors.

I hope those who are like me also take this to heart. I have seen people almost fighting over non things. I hope you also can find a way dealing with stuff in a better way.

So what I really came here to say is thank you everyone who have supported me, supported others, been kind, tried to outweigh the bad... tried to make this a better place.

That's all. For now.

[MuseumGhost]

I think it takes a lot of courage to publicly own-up to things we might have handled badly...and to have the courage to look oneself in the mirror and know what needs to then be addressed...

Hugs, hon. None of us is perfect. We all slip, we all have days when we are less than our best selves.

The trick is learning from them, doing what you can to help the other person understand and maybe forgive, and then moving on to a better understanding of it all. Even we old fossils have to learn things from time to time.

A big hug---- I didn't see what went down but I'm sure it's fixable----

[atomicc]

I completely appreciate this post. I know sometimes I also can tend to get a bit..hmm what's the word..snide or testy with people who don't deserve it when I'm in a mood. I commend you on taking action to apologize and it really shows a great strength of character!
We can all learn from this post and maybe each of us think a little more before we post something when we're in a sour mood, I know I will from now on.

[healingme4me]

Of any of the posts, I've encountered of yours, I've seen nothing more than I wouldn't call it professionalism, since we aren't professional here, but something along those lines.

Either way, I appreciate reading the sincerity in your words and this post.

[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by MuseumGhost

I didn't see what went down but I'm sure it's fixable----

Oddly it seems like I upset people more when I try not to.... maybe it's just I who sees this, it's not like there was a conflict. I read back on my recent posts and was like Wow did I write that? That was unnecessarily crappy/harsh/whatever.


And thanx all.

[-jimi-]

Some of you really restore my faith in humans.

[gayleggg]

I think we all have bad days when we can't get anything to come out right. Since we are totally working with the written word sometimes it's hard to get things to come out like we mean them to. I know I have days when I really have a hard time finding something postive to say. On those days I try to limit my posting. We are all unique here and there are going to be disagreements at times but for the most part I find this to be a very postive experience. I really appreciate your post. It makes us all think about how our posts can affect others.

Thanks for your thoughtful post. I have my "days", as well. I think we all do. I too try to limit my posts if I am having a rough go.

The trick is to catch oneself. If it doesn't feel good after, it probably is going against your personal grain: Perhaps stooping to a lower level, falling for the bait, whatever. When I get to a gray area, an area where I find myself doing that (lowering myself or my standards), I recognize what I am doing (it is reacting really) and I will go back and delete. Or ask for my posts to be deleted.

It isnt worth going against your true character and goodness to try to fight a point. It is futile because the other person doesn't hear you anyway.

People who don't care, don't listen or try to understand other points of view. Or the posts just don't make sense.

I have learned from my T that those are times too when someone else may be really stuck or struggling. Or having a rough go when they become fixated like that).

You are very wise. And kind. I too commend you and extend many thanks for your post