[lizardlady]

I had a meeting yesterday with my supervisor that left my head reeling. I could use some other folks feedback.

The meeting was to review a bunch of referrals I have to see if they could be reassigned to another counselor. While we were going over the referrals she mentioned she was transfering active, open cases from the new guy (who has very few cases) to another counselor (who has a full caseload). In a surprised voice I asked why. She blasted me. In a loud, stern voice said "I am the supervisor! Do not question my decisions!"

This is not the first time she's said "because I am the supervisor" when I asked a question. I've played the scene over and over in my head. I did not use a challenging tone of voice. I asked what I thought was an innocent question.

I was really upset by what happened. I kept questioning if I was over reacting. Later in the day I realized what happened was just like when my father, then husband would blast me for something out of the blue.

I've been in a managment position. I never would have told an employee "because I said so."

feedback anyone?

[atomicc]

I certainly think she was wrong to speak to you that way, even if you had asked why in a less than innocent way. Just because she is a supervisor doesn't mean she can get loud with you.
Perhaps you can take this up with HR or speak to your supervisor directly about how her actions affected you. Is there other employees she has acted this way towards?
Sorry you had a bad day at work

Okay, this is when you go see the patient advocate and tell her (him) what is going on. The advocate's are there for you and will be on your side.

This woman has no right to speak to you this way and you don't have to accept it.

[H3rmit]

Looks like your surprised voice was enough to trigger her reactivity. Doesn't make it reasonable or professional of her, though. I hate having to tiptoe around people, but sounds a bit like she is one of them. Of course your boss doesn't have to explain her decisions, and she can just say, "Well, I don't want to go into that." She lost her cool. Not your fault. No boss should be blasting any of their workers!!

"Because I said so" isn't the best wording, but it's true - bosses make decisions, and we don't always know what crap they are juggling behind the scenes.

[Fuzzybear]

[Mike_J]

I am a supervisor and I would never tell anyone "because I'm the supervisor"

She sounds very insecure in her position, and there are times when you can't talk about the reasons behind your actions as a manager, but "I can't really talk about that sorry" is an acceptable answer.

Sort of off topic but sounds like the new guy is about to be let go

No. Because I said so is find in a parent/child setting. On the job it just isn't good enough.
Hope you can work it out.

[healingme4me]

No, not an overreaction on your part. Why, is an acceptable question. Asking for input or some type of clarification, even if she cannot get into details, would have been more appropriate.
Sounds like a catch 22. Irksome, indeed.
Even more than delve into how it plays on your past, it could play into feelings of exclusion as a team member, places you in a predicament, if an overload of someone elses cases, trickles over to you. Etc.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[Nammu]

She sounds very defensive, good supervisors invite questions, it broadens their insight allows them to see things they might otherwise miss. The old many eyes, hands are better than two. I don't think you are over reacting. What you choose to do depends on the outcome you want. You could try to approach her when the two of you are alone and inquire, get a rep to help you inquire about her over reactions. You can choose to do nothing accepting that is how she is going to be. Or call her out next time she does that. I'm sure there's many other options but she is the one over reacting not you.

I'd say she sees you as a threat, possibly because you have been doing this a while and are good at it.

[Citrine]

V childish of her. U could replsce her words with ' because I said so' followed by raspberry sound. So then why tell u? Why run it by u? If ur input isnt required. maybe she wanted u to say ' oh u r so ckever! Thats such a good idea no wondr u r supervisor' lying thru ur teeth. What she meant was dont dissagree with me, i have a shiny name badge.

Its a shock and hurtful when we get blasted for no reason and especially in work where there is a code. prof conduct. Hers is *+/-. Im sorry this happened to u with ur family also. Being a sensitive soul it will hurt even more.Hugs to u.

[lizardlady]

Thanks for the feedback everyone.

I think those of you who mentioned it seems she is insecure probably hit it. This is not the first time I've asked a question and gotten blasted for it. On previous occassions I've waited for her to cool off then gone and said something like "I am not trying to be argumentative. Could you please help understand why I should do x, y, z?" I've suspected for awhile that any time someone does not agree with her she views it as challenging her. Tuesday's events convinced me.

I haven't decided what to do about it. Part of me says just to not ever question her or disagree with her. I'm not sure that's possible. If I don't understand something I'm told it seems to make sense to ask for clarafication. How do I do my job if I don't understand what I'm being asked to do? Another part of me wants to go to her when things are quiet and try to have a discussion about what happened. I suspect that would not be effective though. Yet another part wants to go up the chain of command if it happens again.

For what it's worth two people have quit because she treated them this way.

[googley]

Are you sure we don't have the same supervisor? This sounds like mine. It does suck.

[Fresia]

Always address this issue with the person first before going above their head. They may not even be aware they are doing it and a whole host of issues can come from bypassing them, when it might simply be taking care of with them and there are better relations in the company when doing so as well. If not resolved with them, then it is time to go to the person above them.

Having been in a similar position before, I asked if I could to talk to them about what happen the other day (or rather previous days as it was a common occurence) as something has been concerning me. I pointed out that I was concerned about her reaction the other day when I asked about (whatever it was) because from my perspective I ask questions in an effort to learn more and to better my understanding of the organization, the roles, and to help support her and the company, I was not questioning your judgement and apologize if it came off that way. I hope I can come to you when I do have questions. Are you open to this and is there something I can do to help meanwhile?

This will give you a better idea of her position as a manager. It could open up a great dialog for better communication and less snapping. Perhaps something along those lines might be a way to approach her for better relations so you are not having to walk on eggshells around her and can approach her easier in the future.