[Alone & confused]

I've just got to get this off of my chest! I am trying really hard not to hurt these (real life) people's feelings by going off on them!! They are SUPPOSED to be my "friends" but I'm starting to believe that all they want is another "guest" at their pity party! I am in WORSE SHAPE than they are physically, financially, mentally, emotionally, I have MORE kids, MORE responsibilities, and they act like I'm supposed to make THEM & THEIR petty problems MY responsibility!! And I HAVE TRIED COUNTLESS TIMES to help them! But the more I do, the more they EXPECT from me and they give nothing back but STRESS! I'm not talking about wanting a payback, I'm talking about respecting boundaries, giving me my own space sometimes without PUSHING THEMSELVES DOWN MY THROAT when I'm trying to have alone time with my man & my family! Respecting my privacy, they call all my kids to find out why I'm ignoring they're calls & texts. Drop in uninvited when I have REPEATEDLY told them I'm trying to plan a "get away" to get out of my house for awhile! And when I say "I'll call you back later" it means WHEN I FEEL LIKE TALKING TO YOU! NOT "blow my phone up until I ANSWER!" And I STRONGLY believe that some of their "drama" is LIES just to get attention! They are so self absorbed that they have NO CONSIDERATION for other peoples suffering. I know this because I'm the only one left in their corner! Everyone else has been used up too. There have been
SEVERAL of us trying to help these TWO PEOPLE get back on their feet and the more we give, the more they want! I can't keep helping someone who WON'T help themselves. Instead of helping them up they are
pulling me down! My well has run dry & cup is empty! Until I find a way to replenish myself I have

[atomicc]

I'm sorry these "friends" are taking so much out of you. Have you tried explaining to them that you need energy to save for yourself? Perhaps they are so focused on their own issues they can't see past them. :/

[Perna]

Take care of yourself!

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by atomicc

I'm sorry these "friends" are taking so much out of you. Have you tried explaining to them that you need energy to save for yourself? Perhaps they are so focused on their own issues they can't see past them. :/

Yes, in SO MANY WAYS I have tried, but they seem to think I'm supposed to include & invite them to EVERY SINGLE THING I try to do by myself! They actually get OFFENDED if I don't invite them to my PRIVATE family affairs and even call & text repeatedly when their not included & Disrupt whatever it is I'm doing! They consider anyone & everyone Rude & Selfish for not "thinking about" or catering to THEM! It never occurs to them that WE ALL have problems & that there are times when people are just in no position to help them. I am simply amazed that there are so many people like that in the world!

[Alone & confused]

I am SO DONE!! I AM SPENT, USED UP, BURNED OUT, FED UP! Does it nourish people's souls to pick at my DRY DEAD BONES?? What is to be gained from taking all that I HAVE when I have NOTHING LEFT IN ME TO GIVE? How pathetic can someone be to choose ME as their Savior? I AM NO ONE! I don't walk on water and I CAN'T PERFORM MIRACLES! And I DO have my limits! Why do people in my life INSIST on pushing me past the point of breaking? Are they out to completely DESTROY ME? IF SO, IT'S WORKING!

[elliemay]

Once you set a boundary you have to let go of the outcome. Draw a line in the sand and state "NO MORE". Then let go. If those "friends" stay, they stay with modified behavior. If they don't they don't.

Good-bye and good riddance to them I say.

Good luck.

Stay strong.

[glok]

Hello, Alone & confused.

Setting boundaries Appropriately - Online Self-Help Book for Mental Health, Mental Illness

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Believe me, I know at least part of how you feel; it's insanely frustrating/aggravating. I left those sort of people behind because I just had enough of their bullcrap - we've got our own stuff to deal with.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung

Believe me, I know at least part of how you feel; it's insanely frustrating/aggravating. I left those sort of people behind because I just had enough of their bullcrap - we've got our own stuff to deal with.

Thank you! PC is the only place where I don't feel so alone! I'm bipolar with anxiety & depression, but sometimes I wonder if my suspicious nature & inability to trust ANYONE & always thinking that people around me always have ulterior motives to "befriend" me are part of my MI or if it's an intuition or gut instinct? Do I need to TRUST what I believe about certain people....or dismiss it as my illness? Thoughts like that drain me too thinking that people wouldn't stick around me if they weren't BENEFITING from me, if there wasn't something in it for THEM & that they have no real interest in ME as a human being!...only what I can or will do for them.

[bilove]

Originally Posted by atomicc

I'm sorry these "friends" are taking so much out of you. Have you tried explaining to them that you need energy to save for yourself? Perhaps they are so focused on their own issues they can't see past them. :/

I seem tobe doing just that.... again my boyfriend broke up with me...

says I am sucking the energy out of him

he is bi polar on meds

feels better without me
within an hour he was talking marriage then broke up with me for the 6th time
I flipped out called him horrible names.... totally more crazy than his illness at that moment.......

he will never forgive me

[glok]

Hello, Alone & confused. How are you doing with setting boundaries?

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by glok

Hello, Alone & confused. How are you doing with setting boundaries?

Haven't mastered the at art as of yet, but I have cut off all contact from those I DO NOT wish to see for awhile, and I'm debating on making this permanent. The only ones I want near me right now is my family & my friends here at PC! This change would leave me with no (real life) friends, but I'd rather have no friends than a bunch of FAKE, USER "friends" who suck the life out of me! Thank you for checking up on me! I really appreciate that!