[Nat92]

I'm currently and once again, in a really tough place. Both my parents and myself are struggling with our economies and as much as I've been trying to help, I've been without income for quite some time now and I'm trying to apply for welfare so I'll at least have a bit for presents.

My parents are drained from work and my grandmothers illness and I do mean drained, in every way. I've given most of my money to help relieve them of the pressure of having such a tight economy but I left myself with a pile of bills that's now doubled and I have to pay off some of it come December.

So, I've been trying to do everything I can to find a way to raise money for the presents. And I do know that the alternative would be to just find the cheapest presents, but I made the mistake to lead everyone on into believing I actually have a lot saved up for it.

And it's just not the time to let anyone down.

My parents are in dire need of everything from kitchen utensils to the most basic of things and I really want to just see them smile with happiness on Christmas eve, getting exactly what they wanted and needed.

I'm willing to even secretly spend the money I know I'll be getting on my birthday to buy presents and I know I will be doing exactly that.

I came across a page on the internet, it's a fundraising website, for people in dire situations and as it seems they're raising money for just about anything. I feel a bit guilty, well actually a lot for even thinking about asking strangers for help and perhaps I really am in the wrong, but would it be such a bad idea?

I mean, it's so bad right now that I feel like my mom is doing her absolute best, but I'm already seeing us eating fruit throughout the holiday season, switching the sweet swiss chocolate for grapes and how fun is that? Unless you're on a diet.

I'm of course kidding, but the situation is dire and I just want this holiday season to be without worrying about saving every nickle and penny.

Am I a bad person for thinking like this?

And what's your opinion on fundraising for other people?

[jelly-bean]

I am sorry things are so hard for you and your parents financially right now. If I were able to I would help you figure something out but I don't know the laws in Denmark regarding welfare and all that. I think you do what you have to do when it is a desperate situation and asking for help is not a bad thing and you are not a bad person!

[bounceback]

I don't think it is a bad idea at all. I know what site you are talking about and I have referred a couple of people to do it. A lot of people I noticed ask for money for trips to Europe so asking for help because you need it seems fine to me. Besides that way some people can donate anonymously if they wanted. I would say go for it. People also like to help give at Christmas anyway.

[shezbut]

I am sorry that you and your entire family has been struggling so much lately. Emotionally, physically, and financially. Times like those are really tough ~ I agree.

However, you asked our opinion on the issue, and I feel compelled to tell you that I disagree with your idea. I can understand how desperate and wishful you are feeling inside. You need to pay your bills. That should come first. Second, comes gifts. If you cannot afford to buy this year, maybe you could make gifts instead. Write a story to read to everyone, or poems. Perhaps make crafts instead? Pastries or cookies? Just some low-cost/high heart-appeal ideas to get you thinking.

If you haven't changed your mind, okay...but I think that you ought to be completely honest on whatever site about where where those gift dollars are going. Otherwise, you could be fighting a lot of guilt or remorse in the future.

Just my honest opinion. I do wish you the best. Really! ((((hugs))))

[BeBrave483]

I'm sorry things are so bad right now. I'm struggling financially myself but at least my parents are able to help me out. I can't imagine how it must feel for you to watch your parents going through this. I'm so sorry about you grandmother too.

I was also wondering if you're crafty and able to make things that you could maybe sell online? Etsy is a good site for that, or if you have DVDs and stuff you don't need maybe you could sell them on ebay or amazon. Otherwise I'm not too sure. I hope you are approved for welfare soon, that would be a help for you.

Good luck, I hope things work out somehow.i guess being healthy and happy is more important than presents, maybe seeing you well would be more of a gift than giving stuff. I'm sure your company is worth far more than any present you could buy someone. I know you must want to do something nice for them though. But you could always make it up next year or something. Take care anyway. I know presents are nice at Christmas but they're not everything.

[jaynedough]

This is absolutely no help for you this year, but maybe for next year you can do things like Bing Rewards to earn gift cards. I've been doing that for a while. I'm sure there are other things like that. I know that in the U.S., there a places that give away gift cards if you show up. They aren't much, but every little bit helps. Maybe you could put an online ad asking for donations of what people have left on gift cards.

I hope your holidays go well.

[jaynedough]

I forgot another place to check is your local Freecycling website.

[lizardlady]

Why not have a serious conversation with you family and opt not to buy everyone presents this year? Or maybe you can give family members "gift certificates" to do things for them? Things like clean the house for them, shovel snow, that sort of thing.

Someone mentioned making things as gifts if you are crafty. I used to do that. For me a handmade gift includes a part of the person who made it. You could bake for folks, but that's not necessarily cheaper than buying gifts.

[Nat92]

Thank you all for your replies and advice.

Thing is, my family sadly isn't as non-materialistic and there's certain expectations. I wish baking would be enough but there's no way you can change the mentality of an entire family. Know the feeling of being given the smallest gift? As stupid as it sounds, as shallow as it seems, the feeling is real.

And in times like these, I think my family can't afford to be let down when it comes to their wishes. I certainly am doing whatever I can to keep them happy and lighten the mood, take a bit of the burden.

However, an origami bird doesn't really do much at the moment.

It's a tough situation because I so wish that something so simple like that would suffice, but I know my family and it was never that simple.

I love homemade socks and stuff like that, I appreciate it but for others it means nothing. My sister's boyfriends family is loaded so she has gotten used to getting big stuff, like free vacations and expensive electronics.

But I'm sure I'll figure something out... ;s

[tony fudo]

Sympathy to you. It's supposed to be the best time of the year, but for so many it's just a minefield. The most important thing is to take care of yourself. The best present? Give yourself a big hug!

[Crazy Hitch]

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Nat92

I'm currently and once again, in a really tough place. Both my parents and myself are struggling with our economies and as much as I've been trying to help, I've been without income for quite some time now

My parents are drained from work and my grandmothers illness and I do mean drained, in every way. I've given most of my money to help relieve them of the pressure of having such a tight economy ?

Originally Posted by Nat92

Thing is, my family sadly isn't as non-materialistic and there's certain expectations. I wish baking would be enough but there's no way you can change the mentality of an entire family.

I just can't understand how, when your parents drained your savings there can be any materialistic expectations?

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[codetta]

Nat, you are such a sweet person. I can see you wanting to get your Family things that they need, and I hope you are able to. Keep in mind that the Holidays are really about spending time with Loved ones, although I can see how this is a bit different; if it didn't seem so necessary that you get your parents a couple of household items, I would say "your Family will understand if you can't do presents this year". In your case, though, I might suggest checking out a nearby thrift/resale store.

Sometimes you can find flawless items, wash them, and viola, you have something great! My paychecks aren't that fat, but I still have a fabulous glass coffee table - it looks new, and I probably saved $400 buying it used (from Goodwill).

Fund raising: I think this is a matter of opinion and situation. I wonder how old you are, and if your parents would feel embarrassed, or maybe angry if they maybe don't see this situation from the same point of view that you do? I would just keep those things in mind when deciding upon creating a fundraiser. If you do, I really hope you're able to raise what you need.

Also, your sister's boyfriend being loaded does not make her "better". It seems like you are trying with all your might! Anyone can be pampered, but it takes good ethics and a strong sense of responsibility to earn your own. I hope your Family can appreciate what a thoughtful, great person you are!