[jarajaramelon]

is it possible for a caregiver to care about a client? or is it only to make money? i can imagine they don't want to have it on their conscience to have a client loving them more than just a care provider.. but i don't really understand since they are careproviders.

secondly, is it possible to talk with them outside the "hopsital"?

[gayleggg]

Yes, they do care. I've known many therapist and doctors outside of my own and they all cared and even worried about their clients.

As far your second question, some continue to see clients on an outpatient basis but don't. It just depends on their practice.

[lizardlady]

It is definitely possible for a caregiver to actually care about a client. Most people who go into a "caring" profession do so because they like/care about other people.

Am not sure what you mean about seeing a client outside the hospital. If you mean in a professional capacity it might be possible. It would depend on if the caregiver provides services outside the hospital. If you mean seeing a client in on a personal basis, most caring professions have rules against that.

[jarajaramelon]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

It is definitely possible for a caregiver to actually care about a client. Most people who go into a "caring" profession do so because they like/care about other people.

Am not sure what you mean about seeing a client outside the hospital. If you mean in a professional capacity it might be possible. It would depend on if the caregiver provides services outside the hospital. If you mean seeing a client in on a personal basis, most caring professions have rules against that.

i live in holland, so i thought the rules would be a little wider. i wasn't sure about it, but there are so many ways in social activity where you can meet eachother. for example:

- facebook.
- out door, by coincidence: parties, studies, restaurants, groups etc.

i don't really have my life back on track right now,
for example i just don't have a school and don't go anywhere except gym, because im actually kinda afraid i feel out of place fast. when i just join somewhere, no idea either where i should go, because i feel weird around people.

im afraid i will never see this guy again, because we were like, i don't know, okay. im not sure if it was because i was all loveydovey around him, but i really trusted him.

i know circumstances can change when a person feels "love" for another, but it might be my lonelyness and i can discuss it though i don't know how, because i don't want him to know anything about it. maybe he doesn't even want any contact with me and he gets bothered with "YEE, NOW YOU CAN TALK WITH JARA AGAIN, HOORAY, A WIDER VERSION OF YOUR JOBCONTRACT"

i feel emberassed alot about the diary i gave him before i they dismissed me out of the hostel (it's not a hospital, more some mental health clinic, like that's the reason i posted it here, i mention just to be sure). ofcourse when you're in "love" or like someone alot you can be really clumsy, but this went a way too far.. tho "i haven't been there for no reason, and they'll understand" i keep saying too myself. no one knows what i wrote in there, i'd love it to ask someday haha.

so yeah, i wondered, to sum it up: "1. do the rules differ in different countries? 2. is it against the rules to see someone outside and just, i don't know, talk with the person? because it sounds very normal to me. 3. would it be allowed to give an answer on facebook?"

[lizardlady]

I don't know what the rules are in Holland. Here in the US professionals are told to avoid relationships like Facebook and the like with clients or former clients. It opens the door for a whole set of possible ethical problems.

As for seeing the person face-to-face on the street. Again, I don't know the rules in Holland, but here in the US the professional should follow the lead of the client. If the client approaches and talks to them it's okay to respond. If the client acts as if they don't know the professional, they should also act like they don't know the client.

Does taht help?

[jarajaramelon]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I don't know what the rules are in Holland. Here in the US professionals are told to avoid relationships like Facebook and the like with clients or former clients. It opens the door for a whole set of possible ethical problems.

As for seeing the person face-to-face on the street. Again, I don't know the rules in Holland, but here in the US the professional should follow the lead of the client. If the client approaches and talks to them it's okay to respond. If the client acts as if they don't know the professional, they should also act like they don't know the client.

Does taht help?

that really helps ye ^^ atleast i know that it's a rule you know, if he'd avoid me well. then i know where it comes from. how far can a caregiver go o__O? i once approached a caregiver and talked to her indeed. it was like "hello !!" "hello, howrya doing" and etc. because i wasn't that interested. but can it be like: "hello, wanna go drink a cup of coffee with me?" or something xDD

i get the rule tho. it'd be weird for them to be fired if a client talks to them. they can't help it

but it sounds like you've worked there too, so just a question: have you ever worked with someone who'd you thought of more than "just a client?" would that be possible?

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by jarajaramelon

but it sounds like you've worked there too, so just a question: have you ever worked with someone who'd you thought of more than "just a client?" would that be possible?

I've never had a client I thought of as more than just a client, but I work with kids. There was a mother of one of my client's who had similar interests and values to mine. I thought if we'd met under different circumstances we might have been friends, but that would have been against the rules.

Yes, therapists can want to have a relationship with a client outside the professional setting, but it is not allowed. The kind of caring you ask about is exactly why there are ethical rules and laws about therapists and clients being in a relationship. It's not allowed because harm can come to the client.

For what it's worth, it is not unusual for a client to want to have more of a relationship with a therapist.

[jarajaramelon]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I've never had a client I thought of as more than just a client, but I work with kids. There was a mother of one of my client's who had similar interests and values to mine. I thought if we'd met under different circumstances we might have been friends, but that would have been against the rules.

Yes, therapists can want to have a relationship with a client outside the professional setting, but it is not allowed. The kind of caring you ask about is exactly why there are ethical rules and laws about therapists and clients being in a relationship. It's not allowed because harm can come to the client.

For what it's worth, it is not unusual for a client to want to have more of a relationship with a therapist.

the guy i liked said he saw me as his "sister"; he could prevent me from crying, because i was really sad at and emberassed that moment. or he could really mean it. i don't know. every of the clients knew i liked him, and they kept telling me "he won't get in trouble if he doesn't say he loves you back" it was a whole mess. but im still curious. like, why would anyone say he sees you as a sister when we're not really siblings? would it even be possible? i can't describe my feelings tho. i'm really bad at it. i always hoped i would see him as a brother too. but it can just be a crush too. there were ofcourse people who said "you just look up to him because he has authority over you" well, i completely denied that because there have been many people who had authority over me.

it's maybe a weird question, but would it be possible to see someone other than your own sis, as a sis? and even then.. i can't imagine any harm coming from just talking with a dude outside the clinic. like what. i thought about it alot.

[lizardlady]

Originally Posted by jarajaramelon

it's maybe a weird question, but would it be possible to see someone other than your own sis, as a sis? and even then.. i can't imagine any harm coming from just talking with a dude outside the clinic. like what. i thought about it alot.

If he said he sees you like a sister after you told him you loved him, I suspect he was finding a nice way of letting you know he did not love you.

To answer your question above, I believe it is possible to have feelings for non-family members like you have for relatives. I have friends I care for very deeply. They are like family to me.

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I don't know what the rules are in Holland. Here in the US professionals are told to avoid relationships like Facebook and the like with clients or former clients. It opens the door for a whole set of possible ethical problems.

As for seeing the person face-to-face on the street. Again, I don't know the rules in Holland, but here in the US the professional should follow the lead of the client. If the client approaches and talks to them it's okay to respond. If the client acts as if they don't know the professional, they should also act like they don't know the client.

Does taht help?

Just over forty years ago I began my career as a military mental health & substance abuse clinician. I was already a combat veteran and wanted a change. As a group - roughly 50 enlisted and another 12 officer professionals at a major Army base, we were practically shunned by our rank peers. Nobody wanted to be associated with any of the "pshrinks" for fear of contaminating their own careers. It wasn't so bad within our own military units -- we all knew we were ok -- but way, way different out in the community.