A beautiful blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, how much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all, those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus!"

[drunksunflower]

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHA

That's awesome.

ahahaha thats awesome!

Thanks pat! really bought a smile to my face this morning!!

Simon

[(JD)]

Post deleted by kimmydawn

its a joke! funny pat! and i'm a blond who finds blond jokes funny!

[drunksunflower]

I am a brunette who has often been hassled to the extent that an old roommate used to ask me 'where I kept the brunette hair dye'.

So I think I have some entitlement to giggle at blonde jokes seeing as I've often been called one hehe.

[desperado]

LOL, Pat......thanks!

Sorry to those who find it insulting.......the dumb blond stereotype, I mean.

I think most jokes are pretty much built on stereotypes of the status quo..........so typical -- that's why they're funny, I guess?

Anyway....this is a jokey thread.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

[sabby]

Ok no Pat, I'm beginning to get a complex here.....just cuz I'm blonde....I mean geeesh!!!!!!!!!

LMAO :P :P :P

That one was cute *giggle*

Hugssss
J

i loved that visual!!!! glad you "giggled".........pat

[mrb020377]

i have one!!! it is a good one.....

a truck driver walks into a cafe and asks the blonde waitress for 3 flat tires, 2 running boards and a pair of headlights.

Not wanting to look dumb she writes it down and goes into the kitchen and asks the cook

what is wrong with this guy he just ordered 3 flat tires, 2 running boards and a pair of headlights!

the cook shakes his head and says he is wanting 3 pancakes, 2 pieces of bacon and 2 eggs sunny side up.

oh she says and walks out of the kitchen

she thinks for a minute and fills up a bowl with beans.

she hands the bowl to the driver

he says to her what is this i didnt order this

she says i know but while you are waiting on your 3 flat tires, 2 running boards and pair of headlight i figured you might want to fill up on gas!


lmbo!!!!!

new one! good, too!!!! pat

Two Sisters & a Bull

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."

"She'll read it very slow."

[SeptemberMorn]

Post deleted by kimmydawn

[therealme]

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

[therealme]

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

[SeptemberMorn]

If you can't lick 'em, join 'em, I guess.

Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

Q. What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
A. Brown-bagging it.

Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
A. No one else wants it.

Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible.

The blonde test taker

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

[muse]

!!!! nice ones, guys!!

yes, i did die laughing at the logic of that one! you never, ever know about logic!!! xoxoxo pat

[January]

This is a thread in Social, a place to laugh and have fun. If any member has a problem with this thread, or any thread, pm a member of the admin/mod team. All complaints are given full consideration and discussed by members of the team.

I will not lock this thread because it injures the ones trying to have fun. All unsupportive posts will be removed.

Jan

Fallen bridge
A blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river.

The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down.

She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn't get back.

He yelled in response, "Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light across the river. Get on the light beam and walk back."

She replied, "No, I'll get half way across the river, and you will turn the light off on me!"

[kimmydawn]

I want to back up what Jan has said here.

Humor is a very individual preference. These preferences can be very diverse. What appeals to some isn't going to appeal to all. However, unless it's against guidelines, it's generally OK.

No one is going to like all humor. The title of the thread pretty much tells you whether or not you'll enjoy it. If you don't, don't read it. Read what *is* enjoyable to you.

Again, humor is a personal preference. If you don't like it, and it's within guidelines, don't read it and go on to read something you think you might enjoy. There's certainly much here, and I'm sure there's a bit of something for everyone even though everything might not be for all.

KD

thanks alot, KD........xoxox pat

[(JD)]

Thanks alot KD.