need some advice

I have a friend who wrote a book she is very proud of. She gave it to several people to read and asked me to read it and give her honest feedback. I'll start off saying it's a romance novel which is not one of my favorite genres.

I told her right after I started it that I liked it. The beginning of the story does draw the reader in. I also mentioned I'd noticed a typing problem - all possessives lack the "s" after the apostrophe. I made the comment gently, saying maybe it was a glitch in the software she used. She was not happy to hear it.

Okay, here's my dilemma. My friend does not take negative feedback well. She takes even constructive criticism as a personal attack. I am about 70 pages into the 200 single spaced pages of the book. I am bored out of my head. The story no longer interests me. The plot seems improbable. Her writing needs some major revisions and editing. A single sentence can drag on for an entire paragraph.

So I'm stuck on how to handle this. Finishing reading this thing is going to be torture. But can I not finish after telling her I would read it, especially since I told her I really liked the beginning? Can I get away with telling her that it's really not my kind of book and not finish it? If I do finish it, how do I give her feedback? She said she wants my honest opinion, but I'm afraid to be honest and hurt her.

Anyone have any suggestions?

I'd be honest in a tactful way. If she overreacts, well, that's not your fault. Definitely emphasize the parts you liked (the beginning) and congratulate her on her efforts.

Hmmm this is a tough one!

On one hand you can upset her by not finishing the book by saying its just not your cup of tea. You could tell her that you don't think that you're the best person to give her feedback. Of course, she's probably going to get upset.

On the other hand, you could read the book and give her your honest opinion. This likely won't go well, either.

But, there's a third option...you could read the book and do the half-truth thing. Find a few things that you like about the book and comment about those things. If she inquires further, be vague and give general positive feedback. I'm a pretty straight shooter and prefer the honest truth, but since she is so incredibly sensitive about any sort of negative feedback, this third option may be the best way to go if you want to save the friendship. (Again, I'm not for lying, but she's not really open to taking honest feedback.)

I would tell her that, since you knew she was going to have to reprint it anyway for the lossessive errors and the single spacing (you have to send stuff double spaced to editors), and it was getting hard on your eyes reading the single spaced document, here are your notes for what you did complete:

Then tell her again how you liked the beginning etc. Then i would speed read the ending and a few other spots and give opinions on those.

Good luck!

Lots of good feedback here. I agree with ChipperMonkey that your friend probably isn't open to much negative feedback ... she probably wants some kudos for her work and effort. So, half-truths, speed-reading to the end, and praising the good parts sound like a good compromise for both of you.

BTW, a friend asked me to the same thing several years ago. The book he wrote was also flawed but I fudged my feedback and we remained friends. He didn't press me very hard on my input ... he really just wanted to feel proud of his efforts.

Great suggestions everyone! Thanks!

Chipper Monkey, I'm pretty much a straight shooter too. I was once told I call a spade a friggin' shovel. I've learned to be tactful over the years though. I like the idea of picking a few things I like and tell her about those. Also like the idea of speed reading through to the end.

Hankster, do you know how to find out what sort of formatting publishers expect?

Little Lulu, you pegged it. She is looking for kudos.

I'm concerned how she is going to handle what is likely to happen when she submits the manuscript to a publisher. At best it's going to end up buried in a slush pile. At worst she's going to receive rejection letters. She'sw of the belief that she's written a best seller that's going to shoot straight to number one. Needless to say I'm keeping these concerns to myself. I'll be there to be supportive if this doesn't work out.

Before everything got all computerized, there used to be books and magazines called Writers t Digest that listed all the editors and publishing companies and what they were looking for. I havent looked recently but i would assume that stuff is available online also.

Last night i dreamt i was reading the manuscript myself!

I'm concerned how she is going to handle what is likely to happen when she submits the manuscript to a publisher. At best it's going to end up buried in a slush pile. At worst she's going to receive rejection letters. She'sw of the belief that she's written a best seller that's going to shoot straight to number one. Needless to say I'm keeping these concerns to myself. I'll be there to be supportive if this doesn't work out. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/QUOTE]

Maybe just the fun of writing the novel will hold her up if she doesn't get any bites from publishers. Good thing she has you for a friend.

So, Hankster, you want to finish reading it for me?!?!?

I suggested the Writer's Digest to her. Apparently it is no longer published. At least that's what her local librarian told her.

I suggested she look on line, but she's not internet savvy. Hmmm, I could search on line for her. Mare that will help with my feedback.

++++++edited to add
Well, Writer's Digest still exists. I found there website through a simple google search. Found out the answer about formatting too!

finish the book if you can slowly as i think you said you never finished it, then see if there are any other good parts you could compliment on. if not, be truthful that you liked the beginning but not the rest.

You could just say to her that while you are honored that she wanted your opinion, you really can't give her one because you just don't know how to tell if a romance novel is good or not because you never read them and may even dislike one that is supposed to be good because it's just not something you ever appreciated reading.

A writer who cannot handle rejection is in the wrong occupation.

OE, she knows I've read some romance novels. I am a voracious reader. I'll read anything with words in a row. I've been known to read cereal boxes to have something to read.

I think I'm going to do as others suggested, speed read through the rest of the book and give positive feedback on what I thought was good.

I did some poking around on line and found the answer to her question about formatting a manuscript. I let her know this afternoon what I found. She got pissy about what I told her I found. This has confirmed for me that I'm only going to say positive things about the manuscript. Anything else and she will be insulted.

PoppyRoad, I agree 100%. I'm not going to be the one to tell her that though!

I think any attempts of writing is good. I mean, it's not an easy thing and it happens way too often people feel discouraged rather keeping on and improving. It's a hard balancing act yea... but I think with any criticism like that it IS important to value the pure fact someone actually wrote a novel.

I wrote four finished novels and no, they are not particularly good (Lizard, if you're interested one is online LOL), and most of the time I am painfully aware of my shortcomings. It sounds like this woman maybe is a bit uneducated about the basics, and yes, someone needs to break that to her. If you do, don't overwhelm her if you dare saying anything at all. But if you do, you could be doing her a favor. She might take it better than you think.

Read the last ten pages and call it done. Did you say specifically that you would read the WHOLE book?

If she really is a friend and you don't want to ruffle her feathers, I would lie and say that even though romance novels usually aren't your thing that you really enjoyed her book and that you think it's terrific that she's been published (unless it was self-published) and that you wish her well for future novels.

Not saying that's what you should do, but that's what I would do if it was a friend.

Jo...telling white lies since the 1960s.

In my dream version, there were cookie recipes AND cookies!! i call that a best seller!

I haven't seen any recipes yet, but there is a part about a character experimenting with making a new kind of cookie! You sure you haven't been reading the book Hanster?!?!

Jimi, I appreciate the work she put into writing the book. I appreciate the effort it takes to put words down. I love reading. I am thankful that there are folks who produce material to feed my "addiction." I enjoy writing myself, but doubt I could ever produce a book length product.

You are right that good writing is not an easy thing. You're also right that it takes practice to get better, just like any other skill. My concern for my friend is that she seems to think she produced a New Your Times best seller first time out of the box. She is not open to the idea she can improve.

Jo, I'm afraid to not read the whole thing in case she asks specific questions. I'm going to speed read it like others suggested. I like your suggestion to tell her that romance novels are not my thing, but that I like hers. BTW, she's not published. I'm concerned how she's going to take feedback from an editor/publisher. I know it's not my responsibility to protect her, but she is my frined and I hate the idea of her being hurt.

does this count as a verified occurrence of ESP? im not surprised it involves cookies!! Too funny!!

I wish you luck, Liz.

Let us know how it turns out here and/or post in the books social group also.

I agree that being able to handle rejection is important to be a writer, esp. a good one. It does require one have "thick skin"....maybe tell her that too. That she might face multiple rejections and more criticism.

Seems to me any creative career (writing, painting, acting, music) requires a really thick skin.

That being said, you always have people that love/like a book, those who think it's okay, and those who hate it----no matter how popular it is when it gets published, or if it ends up a best seller list. Someone is always going to not like it (or like it) for whatever reason.

I have to give her credit for writing it and I would focus on that. You can't be the "messenger" cause you're going to get shot! Say you found it entertaining (def includes diverting and it did do that) and that you are hoping it will be successful for her. Maybe then immediately change the subject to her publishing it as a e-book, as opposed to placing her efforts in someone else's hands. Who knows...if she sells it on Kindle for a buck, maybe she will get something for her efforts.

I started reading it again this week. There are parts that have drawn me in again. There was one scene that is really funny. Humor is hard to write.

I've decided I'm going to make notes of the parts I liked and focus on those when I talk to her about it. She's not happy that it's taking me this long to finish reading it. Some others who read it before me read it straight through. I'm going to point out that there are nights I get home from work so exhausted I just veg in front of the idiot box.

No way am I going to be the one to break the news to her that others may not think this is the next great novel of the 21st century. I'm also not going to talk about the realities of getting published.

I'm going to focus on the parts I liked and change the subject.

Heylow.

I am NOT good with constructive critisism either. that is what my family has always done with me and it has always felt very discouraging. sometimes people seem to think that they should tell a person as a friend that their work is not very good because it will save them disappointment. but i don't agree. this is likely her first try at a novel, yes? well if that is the case, don't discourage. point out the good things and hope that he/she will improve as he/she goes along? because if it is something your friend enjoys doing,, there is absolutely no reason why they would/should ever give up. LIve is Too short!

Hugs!