[Fleury29]

My big problem is that I talk alot, I know it, but if I didn't talk a lot then I'd never say anything more than respond to someone who needed me for x or y. I never get to have any real conversations with people, even though I try, but it usually winds up me talking to myself basically. So do I just give up on talking at all or having any sort of conversation?

[shezbut]

Well, there is a real art to having conversations with people. Some people are born with a natural talent. Most of us have to work at it.

Asking questions that the other person can answer (and enjoy talking about) is a good thing. Listening to what the other person is saying, and picking up those key aspects, to ask further questions about, helps a lot.

I would not advise you to give up on talking. You just may want to change the way that you go about it, and see if that helps you. Best wishes!

[Fleury29]

I've tried asking questions, but apparently I must be boring because no one answers them. Is it really worth the effort if no one makes an effort with you?

I almost have the same problem. I am either fully engaged and ignored, or completely withdrawn. There should be a middle ground, though. Do you know why you are in this situation?

[shezbut]

I would say that it's always worth the effort. Sometimes, people aren't real outward but they appreciate the effort that you put into the conversation.

I wouldn't continue asking questions of *Joe and Sam* if they never bother answering my questions, to begin with. Or, maybe people aren't aware that you've asked a question? Re-phrase your words, and/or speak more loudly.

I just think that if this is a regular pattern that you've noticed, then you are missing something. Make eye contact, check your voice volume and tone. Are you talking with a variety of people (and having these problems) or is it the same couple of people? If this has happened 2-3 times, that's still pretty irregular. Or, if it's just been the last week... maybe you aren't talking as loudly as you think.

Just some ideas for you to thing about.

[Sabrina]

My stepdaughter talks a mile a minute. It obviously interests her but we end up losing track of what she's trying to convey because she talks faster and faster and can't get the words out quick enough. Sometimes I have to tell her to stop and breathe! I do notice that people just switch of when she does this. When she had 20 or so teenagers here for her birthday, I could clearly hear her voice, for about 2 hours. She monopolized the entire conversation. Sometimes I wonder what on earth she has to say so much about at such a young age, but then I feel disrespectful for thinking that. When her and my Mom-in-law get together, hubby just walks away. They completely talk over each other, loud and excited, even if they're just talking about butter.