[HD7970GHZ]

Hey everyone,

I need some advice.

I have been a victim of a cover-up in the healthcare community.

In short: I had seen original documentation on two separate occasions before they were altered. Their defense is that I suffer from memory problems. The science backing is that (because I suffer from borderline personality disorder, and thus, experience intense emotions) I apparently have a difficult time retaining information when I am emotionally dys-regulated.

Convenient, right?

I know what I saw and I know they altered these documents because I threatened to make a movie and file a lawsuit because of what was written. I also have emails and evidence that easily proves motive.

I am going to do memory tests, but I am wondering if the community here can think of anything else that I can do to prove my memory is in good standing. Even specific tests. Creative things?

Thanks,
HD

[LiteraryLark]

You're going to need a *really* good lawyer.

[eskielover]

Lesson #1......don't threaten.....just gather the information & put it together & deal with the legal issues. You threaten then they know what you are up to & destroy any evidence if they truly have it if it truly was a coverup.

If you don't threaten & you pull together the evidence then you have yourself a case. Sounds like things got messed up at this point & it won't be easy to prove anything.....

Like LiteraryLark said....you are going to need a REALLY good lawyer if you want to prove anything at this point.

Eskielover is right... blessings

[HD7970GHZ]

Thanks for the replies,

I can prove a lot guys and gals. Luckily they didn't do a great job in their cover-up and there are a lot of people involved. More people involved = more idiotic mistakes. They all make me sick to my stomach.

What if I do a memory test? Wouldn't that be more than enough to conquer that particular issue?

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Thanks for the replies,

I can prove a lot guys and gals. Luckily they didn't do a great job in their cover-up and there are a lot of people involved. More people involved = more idiotic mistakes. They all make me sick to my stomach.

What if I do a memory test? Wouldn't that be more than enough to conquer that particular issue?

Proving they are wrong is more important than proving you are right...I don't think memory tests will help. Focus more on gathering the facts, and yes, you will need a lawyer. They will be able to do the brain work, no pun intended.

[Crazy Hitch]

HD,

This whole issue has been going on for such a longggggggggggg time ........

I hope you get the answers you seek.

[-jimi-]

I'd suggest to let them abuse you.

I have on several occasions tried to stop the lies and the abuse, and it just ended up 100x worse. Nothing was ever solved EVEN if I had witnesses with me high up in the hierarchy. They effed over those as well.

They lied about me many times. Of course, since I am "crazy", if people said or did something it never happened, the crazy person must have dreamt it up.... you know...

You are POWERLESS in that situation.

And most likely you will never win.

[HD7970GHZ]

This whole issue has been going on for such a longggggggggggg time ........

I hope you get the answers you seek.

I agree, this has gone on for too long. But I realize that the trauma will never truly disappear... I want it to go away. It has stripped me of my life and I am scared of people now. Perhaps coming forward and sharing my story is a way for me to feel some sense of justice and move forward, while at the same time educate fellow sufferers so as to prevent it from happening to them as well.

I was threatened to stay silent... I refuse to be a victim so silent is NOT something I will be.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I'd suggest to let them abuse you.

Or you could walk away and find your own way to recover.

[eskielover]

But I realize that the trauma will never truly disappear... I want it to go away.

Like you said.....it will never go away even if you prove that you are right. It doesn't change what you went through. It helps to talk & to warn others but proving it in a court of law is a whole other thing.

The home care person that I caught abusing my mother & who caused trauma to my mother at the end of her life & to me while trying to protect my mom which at the time I didn't understand what was really happening......I took it to the police & the sad thing was that I was too good at protecting my mom & I stopped everything from happening that would have nailed her in a court of law. She had written checks on my mom's account which I stopped payment on & she knew I did so never cashed the checks...only if the checks had been cashed could the courts have found her guilty. All the other things she did were not something that could be proved one way or the other & when people steal credit cards & use them, no one bothers with prosecuting them which she also did......but the OD's & the stealing of my mom's jewelry were all things that couldn't be proven without evidence.

I had to figure out another way of dealing with the trauma as I couldn't even go back at the hospital for what they did in letting that person impersonate herself as the home care person in the first place.

Things are difficult to prove legally because they need solid evidence.....which we would want if someone was accusing us of doing something also.....we wouldn't want it to be that easy without having the solid evidence. Makes it harder on us to prove but it's the best system overall.

[HD7970GHZ]

The home care person that I caught abusing my mother & who caused trauma to my mother at the end of her life & to me while trying to protect my mom which at the time I didn't understand what was really happening......I took it to the police & the sad thing was that I was too good at protecting my mom & I stopped everything from happening that would have nailed her in a court of law. She had written checks on my mom's account which I stopped payment on & she knew I did so never cashed the checks...only if the checks had been cashed could the courts have found her guilty. All the other things she did were not something that could be proved one way or the other & when people steal credit cards & use them, no one bothers with prosecuting them which she also did......but the OD's & the stealing of my mom's jewelry were all things that couldn't be proven without evidence.

I had to figure out another way of dealing with the trauma as I couldn't even go back at the hospital for what they did in letting that person impersonate herself as the home care person in the first place.

That is so horrible! When did this happen!?

[eskielover]

It happened in December 2004......right at the time I came here to PC a few months earlier. It's been over 11 years. I still have the detailed memory in my brain of what happened but it only comes out when something brings it up. I have been able to let go of it & the control it had over me for so many years. My wonderful DBT group helped a lot. Moving 2100 miles away where I didn't know anyone, to start a new life helped the most (which I did in 2007). I am surrounded by wonderful people that I have met since moving here. Something I never had all 54 years of my life up to that point. Leaving the bad marriage with the lack of support I got there was also critical to healing because it only made the trauma issue worse by creating a traumatic situation of it's own. I had been married 33 years before I finally walked out.

[HD7970GHZ]

Thank you for sharing! You have been through so much. When you moved away to start over, how did you manage to push yourself to do it? I imagine the decision led to better pastures but in the beginning it must have been a difficult choice to make!

[eskielover]

It was difficult to break away. Something inside of me kept telling me that I should be able to ask for the support of my H or to ask for information & to get valid information, not just what he thought was valid (his truth, his reality)....but I kept getting bad information from him that I would base decisions on & it just kept getting worse rather than better. I finally realized that the only way I could break away from that was to ABSOLUTELY LEAVE. I had given up control of the finances when my depression got really bad in 1994 when I lost my career & had to put it in his hands & he basically destroyed us.

Initially I didn't buy my farm just for me, I bought it thinking that he might come around when everything was changing then he would have to change also. He actually came with me when I was looking for my farm. I came back a month later to close & then stayed for 4 months working on the house during the summer. I realized during those 4 months that I never thought about him & "absence definitely didn't make the heart grow fonder". It made me realize that I needed to be free from him & for the first time in my life, I felt peace & I could really be ME.

I actually did bring him back to the farm along with our daughter who I had fly in for Christmas that year. Interesting on the long drive here, I found out that he honestly thought that I would "just tolerate" his behavior for the rest of our lives. He never believed that I would leave him because I had tolerated him for so long already. I told him it was a trial basis. Two weeks later I kicked him out & sent him back to California & haven't seen him since. I have had to interface with him because of irresponsible financial messes he caused with the IRS & then again with the house in California going into foreclosure.

I never could understand why he didn't communicate like I thought normal people would but then again, I have come to realize that I never had parents that were normal so I had no idea what normal communication was so I didn't know whether he was being normal or not, it just felt weird. He never bothered to tell me that he even got the first letter from the IRS about the back taxes. When questioned why he hadn't told me, he said that he couldn't figure out what was wrong & so he just ignored them (his way of handling ALL PROBLEMS). I got the second letter 10 months later when I had all the mail forwarded to my farm that Christmas.

I realized that over the 33 years with him, I never had really known him. The more friends I met here & the more good friend relationships I've formed I started to realize that the problem hadn't been mine. It was after about 7 years here, I started to research more details about the behaviors I had encountered with him & finally found the reason that explained the problems 100%. Before that I would read about something & always find something that didn't quite fit the picture....even emotional abuse didn't describe what happened fully. Our pdoc had written a letter to the IRS so I could get the penalties waived & in the letter he said that there was something more wrong with my H than just the adult ADD but that he had refused to have any farther testing done. The first T I went to after moving here suggested the possibility that I had been dealing with a H that had ASD. Sure enough, my research confirmed that. I never came across anything that had explained my H's behavior like that did.

It's like putting a jigsaw puzzle together at times because over so many years, there are so many pieces to put together....but the picture is becoming more & more clear & with the help of my psychologist, integrating my past with my present is wonderful & is really helping me heal from everything in my past.