[TaubTaube]

Sometimes when you're in a bummed out mood, a stupid groaner joke can be uplifting. Do you have any really goofy, dorky jokes that would make your math teacher jealous? I'm not talking about anything really dirty and certainly nothing to bash other religions or groups of people.

For example:

What two guys like to sit on top of windows?

Curt and Rod.

Why shouldn't you fart in an Apple Store?

Because there's no Windows.

I can't wait to see what you guys will contribute!!

[bearguardian]

-Why did the boy drop his icecream?
-Cause he was hit by a bus.

[bearguardian]

Not sure if that was funny, inappropriate, witty, stupid or what. But the boy was not human, he was a test dummie. Actually very intelligent AI. Do they have equal rights as humans. We should not joke in this matter.

[fishin fool]

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store.

[mctone]

A mother and her young son were driving home from church one day, and out of the blue the son asked his mother, “Mom, what’s the highest number you’ve ever counted to?

The mother thought for a moment, and then said, “Well, I’m not really sure.” She thought for another moment, then asked her son, “What’s the highest number you’ve every counted to?”

“Five thousand, three hundred and forty two!” exclaimed the little boy.

“Is that right!” said mom, “Why did you stop counting there?”

The boy said, “Cause that’s when the preacher got finished…”

[fishin fool]

How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge.

You'll see his footprints in the cheesecake.

[fishin fool]

What is invisible and smells like carrots ?

Bunny farts

[Werewoman]

Brewster the Rooster

One day the farmer walked out to his chicken coop, only to discover that his old rooster had finally died.

Later, he was shopping at the feed store, when he spotted a rooster in a cage that was for sale, so he asked the proprietor about him.

"Oh Mister, you don't want Brewster. He's a baaaaad rooster. He'll try to screw every thing in your barnyard" said the proprietor.

"I don't care", said the farmer, "I need a rooster!"

"Okay," said the proprietor, "but don't say I didn't warn you!"

Sure 'nuff, when the farmer got home with the new rooster, Brewster ran around the barnyard trying to screw the dog, the cows, the sheep, the tractor...you name it, Brewster tried to screw it. He said, "Brewster, you're going to kill yourself doin' that". The farmer just shook his head and went about his chores.

One day a few weeks later, the farmer walked outside to start his morning chores when he noticed a flock of buzzards circling overhead. He went to investigate and of course, there was Brewster, laying on the ground, apparently dead as a door nail.

"Brewster, I tried to warn ya, but did ya listen..."

"Shhhhhhh." said Brewster as he pointed at the sky, "They're fixin' to land!"

[mctone]

What's the difference between and elephant and peanut butter???

An elephant won't stick to the roof of your mouth...

[Rizzar]

• Why can't a bicycle stand up?
• It is two tired.

why did tigger have his head down the toilet?

he was looking for pooh

why are pirates called pirates?

because they aaare

how do you make a sausage roll?

push it down a hill..

how do you stop an elephant from charging?

take away his credit card..

where does tarzan buy his cloves

a jungle sale

-knock knock

-who's their?

-boo

-boo who?

-don't cry, it's only a joke!

what did the ocean say to the sand?

nothing, it just waved

A man walked in to a bar.

outch!

what do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea..

what do you call a deer with no legs

still no idea..

3 little piggies walk in to a bar.

waitress comes up and asks the piggies what they'd like to eat

first 1 says, i'll have a steak

second one says, me too, i'll have a steak

third one says, i'll just have some water

so the waitress brings back the food, and later asks the piggies if they want dessert

yes, said piggy 1, i'll have chocolate cake

i'll have fruit salad, said piggy number 2

i'll just have water, said piggy 3

so the waitress turns to piggy 3 and says, why have you been ordering water all evening when your friends have been ordering food?

piggy 3 says, well someone has to we we we all the way home

The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms…

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?



Get in the car!

where do fish keep their money?

in a riverbank

Why is b always cool?


Because it is in between ac.

Originally Posted by DaX15

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?



Get in the car!

oh wow

that's.... I don't know

[fdsotr]

Q: Where might you find your missing two legged dog?



A: Not very far from where you last it

I made this joke at the plasma center while I was waiting in the lobby where they were showing the crime show "first 48" on TV.

There was this big 400 pound 6.4 ft tall black dude who killed somebody. When they showed him as the prime murder suspect, I uttered out loud: how did he kill that dude? By eating everything on the taco bell menu and sitting on the dudes face and farting on it? The looks I got from other people in the lobby were priceless LOL

OK I have a very messed up sense of humor hahaha

[fishin fool]

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9

Originally Posted by fishin fool

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9

An updated and a bit more offensive variant of that joke goes as follows:

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.