[Fresia]

So I have been trying to put together a videography for my Mom's Celebration of Life Memorial coming up soon. It has been the most draining but cathartic thing I have ever done by going through all of the family photos. I can't do more than a couple of hours a day because of the roller coaster it has me on and upsetting at times.

I finally have them all picked out. I saw videos on how to do it and decided it was beyond my scope of computer skills. So I sent it to a company that does it professionally. They are going to add music that I asked the family to pick out to go with it. I was relieved until my family found out I was not doing it anymore.

They are incensed. How I could I?! Besides being emotionally and physically taped out now, I just can't. They have not helped with it, no one is offering to help with it and I am not ashamed to admit, I need help; frankly, I am so relieved and impressed with this company's work that I am thrilled and excited for the collection we are going to get to remember these moments.

Then they were mad that I was happy about it being done as if I should not be happy during this time of grief. Is that so wrong? I thought we were celebrating the amazing person that she was and this is a collection of those moments?! I give up. Just maybe, I'll keep the disc to myself.

Is there something lately that has had you saying... " I give in!" or "I give up!" too ?

i am sorry at both the insensitivity and epectation(s) flung upon you. They haven't a clue the work, time, or tears you've invested into this. No wonder you want to 'give'in'.

For a year now I've been feeling frustrated, troubled, and personally hurt by my experiences with my Support Group and the manner in which it has changed. The direction it has taken is wrong on every level. But I alone can do nothing about it other than do my best to make those that have been excluded from the 'in-crowd' feel welcome. After the last meeting I weighed out whether I should continue to invest so much of my energies in what has become a thankless task. So, I made a decision this week to just give in.

[eskielover]

I vote also for keeping the disc yourself if that's the way they are going to behave

That is a huge job even when you are not emotionally involved. I think for sure you made a WISE CHOICE.

LOL....for about the first time I said no, I can't. I don't have the time...I feel bad because it is a friend who is I'll & is needing to sell off things from his farm & wanted me to photograph & list his 3 tractors & a stove in the cabin on his historical property....but my lawn tractor is not working & I have to fix it no money to pay someone & they take too long to fix anyway. I can't wait until my grass gets too long & I'm trying to arrange to get my own field fenced, a runin shed built & arrange to get my horse here while spending the rest of the month volunteering at the horse park on the decoration crew for the x/c Rolex show the end of April.

I'm on OVERLOAD right now besides medical issues that are a possible future issue that is sort of background bothering me right now.

I spent 4 months caring for rescued stallions 2 years ago & last year 8 months clearing out an elderly friend's farm. Now it's time for me to take care of me....time to find someone else who can help with this....have learned to not push myself past my breaking point.

[Sunflower123]

I vote for sharing the video. I can't even imagine the time, effort and tears that you put into this and for them to be unappreciative and angry is unacceptable. You know you did the right thing in your heart and that's all that matters. Could some of this emotion be related to grief (theirs and yours). I think you should show it for two reasons (1) it may be cathartic to them and they may need that (2) to show them what a lovely, quality video you put together (I know it's kind of I told you so but they asked for it).

Best wishes and I hope it all works out. I'm sorry about the loss of your mom. Hugs coming your way.

[Fresia]

I appreciate your support. I also know it is so heart wrenching in these situations and the decision is not easy when it gets to this point. My thoughts are with you.

Originally Posted by justafriend306

For a year now I've been feeling frustrated, troubled, and personally hurt by my experiences with my Support Group and the manner in which it has changed. The direction it has taken is wrong on every level. But I alone can do nothing about it other than do my best to make those that have been excluded from the 'in-crowd' feel welcome. After the last meeting I weighed out whether I should continue to invest so much of my energies in what has become a thankless task. So, I made a decision this week to just give in.

[Fresia]

Thank your for the support and the insights. I forget about self care but know it is important, especially now. Good for you in knowing your limits! I think for the first time I am figuring this out, the importance of needing not to push past breaking point and to take better care of self. I seemed to have missed out on those lessons on self care somewhere along the way.

Originally Posted by eskielover;5575938}
[B

LOL....for about the first time I said no, I can't. I don't have the time...I feel bad because it is a friend who is I'll & is needing to sell off things from his farm & wanted me to photograph & list his 3 tractors & a stove in the cabin on his historical property....but my lawn tractor is not working & I have to fix it no money to pay someone & they take too long to fix anyway. I can't wait until my grass gets too long & I'm trying to arrange to get my own field fenced, a runin shed built & arrange to get my horse here while spending the rest of the month volunteering at the horse park on the decoration crew for the x/c Rolex show the end of April.

I'm on OVERLOAD right now besides medical issues that are a possible future issue that is sort of background bothering me right now.

I spent 4 months caring for rescued stallions 2 years ago & last year 8 months clearing out an elderly friend's farm. Now it's time for me to take care of me....time to find someone else who can help with this....have learned to not push myself past my breaking point.[/B]

[Fresia]

Thank you for the insight and support! It will hopefully be healing for all. We just lost her in November and she did not want a funeral so this is for her get together in a few weeks.

It should be good except ironically last night I had a dream that I got the video back a day before the memorial party and it was terrible, then I cou9ld understand them being mad as I was too in my dream; won't that be a kicker if that happens. Let's hope not.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I vote for sharing the video. I can't even imagine the time, effort and tears that you put into this and for them to be unappreciative and angry is unacceptable. You know you did the right thing in your heart and that's all that matters. Could some of this emotion be related to grief (theirs and yours). I think you should show it for two reasons (1) it may be cathartic to them and they may need that (2) to show them what a lovely, quality video you put together (I know it's kind of I told you so but they asked for it).

Best wishes and I hope it all works out. I'm sorry about the loss of your mom. Hugs coming your way.