things that sound dirty but really arn't

has anyone experienced this?

you're talking to someone, or watching something or what ever- then something is said that sounds totally wrong in the context of things, but you can understand why it was said? (I love it when it happens)

today, I turned on the cartoon channel (for a nice little inocent cartoon), and the first words I heard on the cartoon (mid episode) was one of the characters saying to another..... hey, got any nuts?

at first I cracked up laughing, not just at the words- but at the thought... these are poor inocent kids being exposed to this kind of talk, and then it dawned on me as I continued to watch it, that they were actually doing some cooking and needed the peanuts to make the food

still, lol lol lol

when I get this, I can't help but laugh

though it's not really the same thing, this was amusing:

yesterday someone said, I need to go home and do the urology

then she realised her mistake later and she corrected herself by saying uligy

and I'm like yes.. of course. a surgery's going to go down really well at a funeral. lol

I've gotten some strange looks when I've commented I have adult coloring books. I've learned to say "coloring books for adults".

There are some adult rated coloring books out there, believe it or not.

what's wrong with kiddy books?

awwwwww... colouring in pretty pictures of moo cows or doggies...... cuuuuuuuuuuute!

I have a dirty mind and will crack up laughing all the time. We own a mechanic shop so words like nuts, lube and shaft are used all the time. One of the guys will say something seriously and I will burst out laughing.

When i started working as a computer programmer, it was the early 1970's, and things were different! The Pill (for birth control) was still a pretty recent invention, as well as the ability of single girls to get it. Anyway, the computer language i was working in required a period (.) at the end of a logical statement. It was an easy and common thing for a beginner to overlook. The older programmers were always waiting to tease you about "missing a period" really wrecking your expectations.

That's what she said.

I am constantly innocently asking, "Can I hold it for you," to my H. We are walking, he is holding a radio and I give him a bottle of water to drink then ask (the radio). He is fixing a dripping fawcett (hmm dripping but I am referring to his tools hmm); he is cleaning something with newspaper and ready to use some more (I'll hold the wet ones--hmm). I say this daily and we always think of the same thing instaneously yet I never think ahead of time that we will react this way no matter how many times I say it. I am likely reacting to my H's reaction in microseconds.

Artchic, I'm not surprised they exist.

Shattered Sanity, I love the kiddy coloring books too. I have some of each.

That's what she said.

Poupon mustard always give me a giggle. Poupon what?

The guy that says "That's what she said" at everyone's dirty comment.

(Totally expecting a "That's what she said" for this post now)

Manhole...Crankshaft...Dipthong...Tufted Titmouse...C-cktail...

The one thing I can think of at the moment is that there's a sushi roll at a nearby restaurant called "The Big D" and I totally choked on it lol and then laughed because I choked on the big D...

Oh, if you think that is funny, check out the REAL definition of having a PhD! Haha. I guarantee you will have a good laugh.

Country (drop the silent "o")...Aspire (producing buttcrack sweat)...Dictator (a potato shaped like a penis)...

Omg just thong! I came across a shoebox the other day from victoria secrets and i was like, what did i buy, i dont remember THAT! but it was just sandals!

Becoming (what you might be doing while having sex)...Manipulate (giving a guy pleasure with your hand)...Linguini (cunnilingus with a teeny, little tongue)...

Asperger's....South Park had an entire episode based on this.

I find the whole idea of Mr. Krabs who lives in Bikini Bottom to be kind of dirty.

I prefer to say 'it was difficult' instead of 'it was hard.'

Condominium (a small condom)...Abreast (as in "to stand abreast")...Hotel (when a prostitute snitches to the cops)...

Years ago I called my mom and asked her what my dad was doing,she said he was "beating his meat".

(he was tenderizing his steak with a meat mallet)

Rose to Jack in the Movie Titanic

"When We Dock in New York... I'm Getting Off With You"