"Accused" of being handicapped when I'm not

I think I'm going to talk about this in my session next week.

I'll just have to cope with the fact that I'm different. That's absolutely the worst and hardest thing ever, something I hate from the bottom of my heart. I never asked to be different!!! I just want to be normal and average in all aspects of life. Being average was my childhood dream.

I had an alternative reality in my fantasy. I lived as the most average, most common and normal girl you can imagine. She wasn't "special" in any way. I always wished I could be her.

Sorry everyone for bothering you with these rants and my little pity party. I'm not like this in real life. In real life I am. Always this strong person who always pretends everything is all right. Before starting therapy I never allowed myself to feel anything. I hope you don't think I'm a negative and complaining type of person. This is just the first time I'm admitting this problem to myself and I'm allowing myself to process. And I really have no one to talk to except for my T and you guys.

... and no one in real life believes I have aspergers. Because I don't "look" like I have it, whatever that means. So if I make mistakes they are hellbent it's cuz I'm a bad person.

My only advice is this - there is no reason to respond. A smile and a simple "no" is all you should offer. In the end, all you need to do is be you. We can't control what others do and think. It's called "letting go" in a way. The more we try to change the world and what others say, think, and do, the more disappointed we'll become. Now, that isn't to say we let people walk all over us - that's another story. I can still get into fight mode when I need to, but we pick our battles carefully. I'm a HS teacher and a HS basketball coach - I've had at least two parents call me "the worst coach in the school" in public. In fact, my teams have won over 200 games in my 13 years as head coach. There will always be someone, ignorant or otherwise, that looks to pull us down. These people thrive on conflict and controversy and almost always act and speak in self-interest. I know what I'm capable of doing and so do you. In the end, that's all that matters. And let's not forget the quiet majority that have always been in our corner. They believe in us.

That must be so frustrating! I'm sorry you have to deal with being misunderstood. I hope there are still some people who are close to you and who support you.

Thanks Jimmy. You're right, some people are just like that and we can't do anything about it. It's good that you're able to let go when they call you a bad coach. But I guess you're able to do that because you objectively know you're good.

In my case, I'm not sure I believe I'm a "normal and worthy person" (for many other reasons, not just physical). So they're basically saying things I feel myself. I'll talk to my T today. Although I don't really know what she can say... not much... Everyone must bear their cross, right? That's just life.

Honestly, I don't give a bleep what people think of me. I've been like that since I was a teen. It's sort of a character flaw because I'm quick to be dismissive of some people and I can be nasty when challenged.

There's no cross to bear.....just be you. No more, no less. Screw em!

There will always be people that talk without knowing, you just cant stop that from happening and it pisses me off (everyone, actually should be pissed of bevause of this people). However I admire you standing and confronting it, its perfect. I understand completely that you have nothing against people who really are handicapped, but its not fair that they assume this. Being different in anyway (in physical levels of course), its always okay. You have nothing to worry about, you just need to keep confronting them until they get it.

I really admire you!!!

Feel free to talk to me whenever you want!!

Yes there are and same back at ya!

It seems it's not really about having any opinions of any conditions, it's just frustrating when people take one look at you and decide your whole life story. It hurts to be not autistic and be told over and over that you are, and it hurts to actually have aspergers and been told several times that you have not.

For me it is a huge trigger that people assume what I am or not, I think it can be for several people. It does something to you when people assume, it's like it tries to take away from who you are deep inside and that is so painful. Even though they can't actually change who we are, we still feel hurt and threatened.

This can go really deep. I have a rift in my personality because of this. It is like a part of me sort of split off because I was told too often I was what I am not.

So I really understand how painful this can be.

I haven't been able to mend this wound so I can't tell you what would help. I wish I could because I hate seeing people hurting over these things. That are just because of some random people's blurted out words that they might forget the next second. Yannow...

This was a truly thoughtful post, Jimi. I don't know what to add because it was so well said, it absolutely described the reality. Knowing I'm not alone made me feel a little better.
I hope you'll be able to mend your wounds one day. You're a brave, strong and intelligent man. I wish all the best to you.

The same guy came yesterday and asked for porn again. I refused to serve him. I said we have none. He was looking at DVDs but he needed me to give them to him. I said I'm sorry we don't have. He asked you don't have even there? And pointed his finger at them. I said no, we don't. I grinned ear to ear the whole time. He said ok, bye.

I'm so proud of myself! Lol
(BTW I'm the owner so I don't risk his complaining to the manager or anything lol)

I didn't plan this in advance at all. In fact I didn't expect him to return. This was my instinctive response in that second

But later I was scared he might return and do something to me out of anger. He looks decent but psychopatic at the same time. So I was really scared he might wait for me as I walk home or something... I'm still a little afraid of that.

I would look them in the eye and say "No, why do you ask?"

My problem is I feel like mine is so noticeable to the point where I want to tell people that yeah I do have it. I’m pretty sure if people are familiar with it they can tell. Actually that kinda did happen. One of my coworkers were saying the special needs kids that get job training at my work probably all are autistic and then she mentioned me (in front of me but not talking to me) and was asking if I rode a different bus. I was hanging out in the break room waiting to clock in. So I feel like I just “look” like I have it. Like you can tell by my physical features or something. Which I don’t think is true. I read somewhere about the “Aspergers look.” But it seemed like a crock of BS.