[DazedandConfused254]

Odd topic, I know, since everyone seems to do it anymore, but I need some tips so I can express myself only the way I desire,.

Profanity has always met me with mixed reviews. I grew up in an environment that discouraged me from swearing, and both parents stopped it when I was born but have since reintroduced more mild “4-letter words”. And of course there was the bad language that most older teens indulge in. Except for the occasional guilt over something I said or the sick feeling after an f-bomb or religious profanity I largely condoned the behavior.

Now for the part of my life (college and beyond) when I became obsessed with following the crowd to seek approval and fit in. After a period of occasional mild language I stopped swearing completely since I was with a hyper-conservative religious group in college that didn’t tolerate it. After leaving this group upon discovering its effects on my mental health, I cared a bit less about my use of words like before this mess. Then following a summer intern, which was even worse about lack of diversity in personalities and hobbies than the sect I was involved with, frequent and abrasive language became part of my repertoire. What began as a shoddy attempt at sounding like my coworkers turned me into the typical offensive college student for a few years.

Then when I finished up college and came home, I knew I had to do something about my language, as I had some best friends at home who didn’t cuss at all, and my father, even with the fair amount of swearing he does, chastised my habit because of the negative vibe that I gave with each curse bomb. I took this to heart; he was right that most of my swearing came from an angry heart, battered by years of people pleasing for the shallow types. But at the same time, I feel like I’ve been lied to. The same person who corrected my behavior also swears with some regularity, even using stronger words in annoyance over the behavior of our pets, and sometimes dropping religious exclamations/profanity, something I hate even when I swore like a sailor. Now that I’ve realized the inappropriateness of my gratuitous language, especially with my friends who don’t cuss, I’ve once again re-sensitized to coarse words. I know I’m not perfect, as I’ve gone through the loose lips stage at some point. But after a couple of unsuccessful attempts to set boundaries with what my mother and I are comfortable hearing often turning ugly, I’m all the more resentful towards people like my dad, as such a behavior is a harsh reminder that I should either be like everybody else, or shut the front door (comic relief - !).

What do y’all think? Is there anybody else besides me who doesn’t tolerate profanity well (movies, music, everyday life)? Or am I just here to suffer alone because I can’t express myself/live my life the way I want to?

[lizardlady]

Dazedandconfused, I suspected there are plenty of people who feel the way you do. You get to decide how you want to speak and what you are willing to listen to. That said, you can't control whether other people swear or not. You can set boundaries, but can't force someone to not swear around you.

[scarlett35]

I don't like swearing really so I don't do it much myself except very very mild ones! But I do tolerate it if someone else swears. That's up to them it wouldn't stop me being friends with someone or enjoying a film etc because of swearing I just wouldn't choose to say the words myself. It sounds too weird when I say it (of course I've let them slip in certain situations haha)

[sarahsweets]

I hate to admit it but I dont mind swearing- in fact I think it can be done with a sort of....grace? My siggy says "president of no f's given society" and I am sure you can all guess what that means. I am not the kind of person who will stand in line at the store and say things like " F this s**t" but in a way I believe that cursing has its place. I do not curse at people or yell curses at someone but I have no issue using curse words where i believe they are appropriate.

I rarely swear. Like you, I grew up in a rare swear environment. I find most curse words vulgar and not in the least bit interesting. Those that use them too often seem to lack good language skills.

[WastingAsparagus]

Yeah, I don't have a problem with swearing, in fact I do it quite a bit, even excessively sometimes.


I feel like, be your preferences as they may, which mean you don't have to swear yourself -- you can't control others' behavior. That's how it seems to me...

[Mountaindewed]

I don’t swear aloud except occasionally when I’m quoting something from a movie or a TV show. But I’m always swearing online and in texts and emails.

At work one time on my way out I said “yeah I have to go home because the cat is being an asshole to the new one.” And the breakroom just went silent. I rarely talk at work let alone swear. Soon word got around and all the employees knew what I said. People say way worse then what I said, in front of customers too so I didn’t get in trouble. They were just very surprised by me.

[eskielover]

Lol....my marriage drove me to swear.....would make sailors blush. Bad example for my daughter too growing up.

The interesting thing is that as soon as I left him 13 years ago, it was like my swearing switch turned off. Other than a few "$#its" & a "dam it" now & then especially when I keep dropping things or I get my lawn tractor stuck in cattle fencing, I now feel so much at peace, swearing just doesn't happen now. Also in therapy I learned to express what is really bothering me. The problem before was that my frustration level was so high & without words to express it, swearing came out instead.

I don't like being around people who swear & I don't swear either

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I hate to admit it but I dont mind swearing- in fact I think it can be done with a sort of....grace? My siggy says "president of no f's given society" and I am sure you can all guess what that means. I am not the kind of person who will stand in line at the store and say things like " F this s**t" but in a way I believe that cursing has its place. I do not curse at people or yell curses at someone but I have no issue using curse words where i believe they are appropriate.

Lol....My soulmate doggie Leo, sometimes thought his name was Damit & it was usually appropriate

[Raindropvampire]

I can cuss like a sailor or I can go days and not even mutter a darn it. IT depends entirely on my mood and the company I am in.

I worked with an older lady who was very religious and swearing would almost make her physically ill. Even when I laid my knee open here at work she didn't hear a single cuss word out of me. I think my brain almost exploded but I respected her choice to not have that language around her. Had anyone but her been working with me the air would have turned blue from my language lol.

The only time someone else cursing bothers me is if it's in public around strangers(you just don't know someone's history and that could really trigger someone) or around children.

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I rarely swear. Like you, I grew up in a rare swear environment. I find most curse words vulgar and not in the least bit interesting. Those that use them too often seem to lack good language skills.

I disagree. I am not saying that cursing is ok in all circumstances but I have an English degree and I know I have the language skills to communicate just fine.

[nicoleflynn]

I hate swearing, and don't do it.

[lizardlady]

I can relate to Rainbowvampire and Sarah. I can swear like a sailor, but can also go days without saying so much as dagnabbit. I have some friends who find swearing offensive so I curb myself around them. I work with kids and do not swear around them. I'll confess to getting creative around them at times.

While I know some believe swearing is a sign of a limited vocabulary I disagree. Yeah, folks who cuss non-stop get boring to listen to, but cussing can also be creative. It can also be the only way a person knows how to express themself. Most of the kids I work with are adolescents with behavior problems. Need I add their language is peppered with "colorful" words? At the same time they can get tongue tied trying to not swear on front of me. I tell them it's okay if that's what they need to say to express themselves. Then I talk about the impression it creates with others.

sidenote: cursing in American English is so limited. Most of it applies to bathroom or bedroom talk. Other languages are so much more creative. A friend who speaks fluent Russian taught some their curses. One that still cracks me up is "don't stick your (word for male sexual organ) in the tea!" Sounds like mighty fine advice to me.

[Nammu]

I learned some very creative swear lanuage from my girlfriends boyfriend back in the 70's. I use it to shock people out of a rage rant. Otherwise I don't swear much except when I'm alone and do something like stub my toe.

[Travelinglady]

No swearing for me. I didn't grow up with it. I particularly don't like it when people liberally lace their speech with words such as the F one and the S one. To me it can show a limited choice of vocabulary--and they have nothing new to use when they are really upset.

I really am glad we have a censor here to asterisk out such words.

[bpcyclist]

I do not think I have ever heard my mother or father curse, not once. Sadly, I went in to a profession where people cure constantly and I did pick it up. I try hard now to be aware of it and to not do it. There are much better ways to express oneself.

That said, when I am furious, I sometimes still cannot help myself in the moment...

[mugwort2]

I was diagnosed with Tourettes and I swear under my breath when ever I cough. In my case that's a motor tic. I cough a lot. One other reason I wear a mask in public.

[Helper2]

If you want to swear just do it. I think repressing to express a feeling that only feels natural is a crime. I like how the Irish swear because it sounds nice not so venomous commonly hear in the west. I remember when I was in Ireland I heard a two year old swear and the family was encouraging it. It was hilarious and sounded cute but I was shocked.

I love to swear it helps me vent my anger at the air especially when I stub my toe on the bannister. What other word can express that pain other than the four letter word.
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[WastingAsparagus]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

No swearing for me. I didn't grow up with it. I particularly don't like it when people liberally lace their speech with words such as the F one and the S one. To me it can show a limited choice of vocabulary--and they have nothing new to use when they are really upset.

I really am glad we have a censor here to asterisk out such words.

For me, that's an interesting sentiment, because I also think it's good that we asterisk out words on PC... I was one of the ones who said swearing was okay. But honestly, I don't particularly like that I swear. It's almost like my brain defaults to it when I want to express something negative. I kind of wish I had a better option, honestly. Of course, in more formal contexts, I never swear. But when I'm feeling colloquial I always default back to swearing, which also in turn makes me feel like I'm 12 years old again... Ha.

[kevlevrone]

Hi there. I dont like swearing but when I swear I try to do everything to keep my word.

[DazedandConfused254]

I’ve been reading these posts off and on for awhile instead of responding right away as to not redirect the attention back to myself. And it’s allowed me to gain some healthy insight! I’ve often felt that I’ve been confined to a small subset of people, in the guise of keeping myself diverse with who I hang out with, but it often ranged from squeaky-clean perfectionists to downright toxic, in other words, it was either not even a dang it to freely use the big bombs for conversation or verbal abuse. But everyone here posting have helped me gain a greater perspective beyond what I’ve seen that led to the rather B&W thinking I’ve been guilty of in recent times.

Thanks so much everyone for pitching in and sharing your opinions!

[lizardlady]

Glad we helped!

Originally Posted by DazedandConfused254

Odd topic, I know, since everyone seems to do it anymore, but I need some tips so I can express myself only the way I desire,.

Profanity has always met me with mixed reviews. I grew up in an environment that discouraged me from swearing, and both parents stopped it when I was born but have since reintroduced more mild “4-letter words”. And of course there was the bad language that most older teens indulge in. Except for the occasional guilt over something I said or the sick feeling after an f-bomb or religious profanity I largely condoned the behavior.

Now for the part of my life (college and beyond) when I became obsessed with following the crowd to seek approval and fit in. After a period of occasional mild language I stopped swearing completely since I was with a hyper-conservative religious group in college that didn’t tolerate it. After leaving this group upon discovering its effects on my mental health, I cared a bit less about my use of words like before this mess. Then following a summer intern, which was even worse about lack of diversity in personalities and hobbies than the sect I was involved with, frequent and abrasive language became part of my repertoire. What began as a shoddy attempt at sounding like my coworkers turned me into the typical offensive college student for a few years.

Then when I finished up college and came home, I knew I had to do something about my language, as I had some best friends at home who didn’t cuss at all, and my father, even with the fair amount of swearing he does, chastised my habit because of the negative vibe that I gave with each curse bomb. I took this to heart; he was right that most of my swearing came from an angry heart, battered by years of people pleasing for the shallow types. But at the same time, I feel like I’ve been lied to. The same person who corrected my behavior also swears with some regularity, even using stronger words in annoyance over the behavior of our pets, and sometimes dropping religious exclamations/profanity, something I hate even when I swore like a sailor. Now that I’ve realized the inappropriateness of my gratuitous language, especially with my friends who don’t cuss, I’ve once again re-sensitized to coarse words. I know I’m not perfect, as I’ve gone through the loose lips stage at some point. But after a couple of unsuccessful attempts to set boundaries with what my mother and I are comfortable hearing often turning ugly, I’m all the more resentful towards people like my dad, as such a behavior is a harsh reminder that I should either be like everybody else, or shut the front door (comic relief - !).

What do y’all think? Is there anybody else besides me who doesn’t tolerate profanity well (movies, music, everyday life)? Or am I just here to suffer alone because I can’t express myself/live my life the way I want to?

I learned to swear at the age of 9

my mother introduced me to southpark at that age, I didn't know any diffrent... I just coppied what they said on the episode

that said: I hardly ever swear. I might sometimes mutter the odd word under my breath, but never out loud

as for music with swearing in it, it depends on the context

their are some songs where I will listen to it because it's okay to me, but other times (when they are making fun of a person/ race/ what ever, I won't)

I like the lonely island song I'm on a boat. it just makes me laugh

[DazedandConfused254]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I learned to swear at the age of 9

my mother introduced me to southpark at that age, I didn't know any diffrent... I just coppied what they said on the episode

that said: I hardly ever swear. I might sometimes mutter the odd word under my breath, but never out loud

as for music with swearing in it, it depends on the context

their are some songs where I will listen to it because it's okay to me, but other times (when they are making fun of a person/ race/ what ever, I won't)

I like the lonely island song I'm on a boat. it just makes me laugh

Thanks for sharing! I don’t watch South Park but it was the most talked about show when I was in high school lol

I’m actually pretty similar to you. Most people who know me well know that I view swearing negatively so I don’t do it except for extreme circumstances.

Much of my music of my childhood (rock n roll, alt rock) has profanity and heavy topics (sex, drug use), but I knew early on not to let that music or other media influence me. Now that I’m expanding my horizons but also don’t want to engage in songs that are outright tolerant of violence, racism and hook ups, I don’t like a lot of modern music, particularly hip hop. But I will still keep an open mind, as long as those features are not the driving force to the music. So it’s refreshing to find someone else who has the same judgment.