Checking in: how are you?

I feel blah. I'm pretty sure its the heat and I don't need to do anything or see anyone and I just need to stay inside and drink water. My mom is out for some reason doing weekly shopping. I stopped during the pandemic telling her not to go out when its unsafe. Now I'm just like "can you get me this while you're already out?" My canker sore got bigger and I ate some ketchup chips this morning. Not the best idea. My mom got me some oral liguid numbing stuff for it from Walgreens this morning.

Basically my anxiety and moods are decent. Just heat related stuff is getting to me. News is kinda tedious today. Just Sinead O' conner and the other stuff going on.

I can't stay awake today. I've had a boatload of iced coffee and a couple large iced teas and a couple sodas. But my anxiety is fine but I am so exhausted. Pain wise I doubled up on things so its not too bad. Right now I'm feeling better on my left side.

But man am I so tired.

I fell asleep for half an hour. I don't feel tired but jeeze this pain.

I’m doing fairly well. Sleeping better. Stomach has been getting upset recently. Mostly heartburn.

I still can't stay awake today. Caffeine did nothing.

Stupid dog days of summer.

I'm trying to hang on again tonight. My pain sucks. I'm dry heaving. I just took another Aleeve. My scan is on Wednesday. I don't want to spend a couple hours in the ER waiting room while everyone else gets called before me and then spend a couple more hours in rapid treatment just getting fluids and pain meds and being told to wait until Wednesday. I feel like it will be a waste of everyones time.

Distraught

I was just lying down and sleeping most of the day. I didn't feel good. My anxiety felt weird this afternoon and I just now found my 3rd valium on my nightstand. Which explains things.

I slept pretty good last night. Anxiety and mood wise I felt ok most of the day. Pain wise was kinda rough again but not terrible. I took 2 Aleeve in the morning and 2 Tylenol in the afternoon and I avoided lying on my right side. It is pretty much controlled now if I avoid my right side and I haven't had anything to eat in a few hours which also is helping things.

I guess today I just feel ok.

Need to see some changes. Crossroads in life stuff. I would like to return to where I grew up. At least I've begun inquiries on the feasibility of that. Will be more expensive to live there but the particular peace it'll bring will certainly defray the cost of living. I want a certain peace at this point. I'll never have that here.

I don't feel good physically but I've tried everything I can. OTC pain meds, prescrption pain meds, valium, my regular meds, food,, water. And nothing is helping. I just feel drowsy and achy right now.

Edit: I took a 3 hour nap so I feel ok now.

I got stuff done this morning and I did therapy. I just feel the usual now including a scratchy throat.

Feeling terrible. My ex husband just won in court talking away my kids and home

Smiling at it all sadly but tolerently.

I think I am what they call in the Mirolax commericals "Crankypated." I don't know why since I'm on a high starting dose of a med that causes diarrhea and I have taken Mirolax today too.

I've had constipation from metformin.

I was having no-contact with my sister after our relationship turned too toxic to be managed by both of us

She accuses me to be emotional but then she is the first to break the no-contact rule casually out of boredom to say things like "i am bored let's have a walk somewhere"
I hate this complicated situation
I wish I was more mature when young to avoid this bitter end

She is the oldest and more financially stable, but lately she is alone. I am also alone but don't want the disorders of the past
I am trying to stay sober

She makes me nervous and unstable and once she has used me, she goes back to her activieties and old contacts

I never felt good physically all day. My mom said we could go to this place called Jungle Jims in Cincenetti in the fall and I feel too sick to be excited. Tylenol and my carafate did nothing. I ate ok stuff. I'm not really worried or anxious about anything. So I'm guessing its just physical stuff. I'm kind of at ER point right now with this pain. I don't have a driver though and I don't want to worry anyone. But I do feel very sick right now.

I don't know if the metformin takes a week to work or what. But the side effect my doctor has told me about showed up tonight and I'm also a couple pounds less. I feel better tonight though. I think I was taking too much Aleeve before. I read today that can cause bad pain if you take too much.

Not that good. I don't like be around humans. I can hardly wait to have money to buy a house in the forest as far away from humans as possible.

If I had more privacy, I’d be crying right now. I am fried. I made so many more mistakes at work than I usually do. One of my customers was a real horse’s butt today too. It’s fine. I don’t go out of my way to get into conflict with people, so usually the people I do get into conflict with are in conflict with everyone. It sucks to be them. Now I don’t have to waste anymore customer service energy on them. They’ll be helped as quickly and efficiently as possible to lessen whatever time I’m forced to spend with them. Wham, bam, no thank you ma’am. I still have a half day left left of my work week, but at least it’s not customer facing. Ugh.

So ****ing annoyed.

I'm totally good. I think I am solving the problems which have eluded me to this day.

Feeling numb. I have serious financial issues. Either the Universe provides or I go 100% homeless in forest by late October.

I didn't sleep well last night because I had really bad anxiety. I got it under control and then I woke up at 7 and I drank an iced chai latte and then I fell back asleep until almost 9. I was still pretty groggy but my anxiety was better. I got another coffee and my tiredness was gone and my moods and anxiety have been fine all day.

I’m terrible! I made a mistake at work that is a contributing factor to costing one of our customers late fees & an increase in their interest rates. My boss is out helping another office, so I had to call my old boss from my last office. This was the second time I had to call this morning and I could tell they were annoyed. I don’t blame them—I’m annoyed at myself.

Now the customer wants a letter from our office to give to their creditors to explain how we messed up them not paying on time. I don’t think they will get it, but I left a note for my current boss explaining the situation they will see first thing tomorrow morning. I feel like crawling in a hole, but I have to go finish my shift first.

@stahrgeyzer maybe you can ask @DocJohn for MSF to sponsor you and members can donate to the cause. It's what the fund here is for. Do you know about it?