rotflmbo

ok please don't take offense! this is just funny

You know you're from California if...

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember if is pot illegal.

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney… really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember... is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they’ll give you one.

I've never been to cali but that's funny
This is one of my favorites because it is SO TRUE

You might live in (upstate) New York If...

. “Vacation” means going South past Syracuse for the weekend.
. You measure distance in hours.
. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
. You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.
. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,without flinching.
. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
. Down South to you means Corning.
. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.
. You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
. You find 10 degrees “a little chilly.”
. You consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by
. You’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is the coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city in the US
. Your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May
. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year
. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there
. Your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead
. You have worn shorts and a parka on the same day
. You have had a lengthy phone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number

Thank You bop ,, and I wanted to read it twice >> So I clicked * quote * LOL.

Corky .

errrrrrmmmmmmm???? ...... Kaika ,,, ,,, I use to live In Syracuse area >>. LOL.

But I only talked to people in the winter that got the wrong number ?? >>. If we were both D>W>I.

Dialing While Intoxicated ...

WMD.

LOL bebop and kaika.. too funny.... Couldn't resist so I included PA.

You know you're from Pennsylvania if...

1. "Hey yunz guyz!" is a greeting.
2. You get time off of work/school for the entire three-day doe season.
3. One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Penn's Cave and Horseshoe curve.
4. You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to "red up" your room.
5. You know the time and location of every "wing night" in a 20 mile radius.
6. You don't think people from Philly or Pittsburgh talk funny.
7. You don't understand all the hype about Rolling Rock beer; you've been drinking it for years even though Iron City is better.
8. You consider an exotic vacation to be a trip to Ocean City, Virginia Beach, or Myrtle Beach.
9. You are over 35 yrs. old, have never been outside of Pennsylvania and don't see any need to leave.
10. You own only three spices: "salt, pepper and Heinz ketchup." (or possibly A-1 and Heinz 57 sauces)
11. You design your children's Halloween costumes to fit over a snow suit.
12. Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
13. You find 20 degrees just a little chilly.
14. You can recite the four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
15. Words like "hoagie", "chipped ham", and "pop" actually mean something to you.
16. You can use the phrase "fire-hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.
17. You think very little of an Amish buggy on the road.
18. You learned long ago how to "step carefully" around the buggy tie-ups in the supermarket parking lot.
19. You constantly refer to Pennsylvania as "PA". How many other states do that?
20. You can go 2 weeks in winter without sunshine and think this is normal.
21. You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Bird-in-Hand, Mars, Venus, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns.
22. You actually got all these jokes and are forwarding them to your PA friends.

lol corky. glad everyone enjoyed it!

LOL, thanks Be!! And now for the Tennesseeans!

You've never met any celebrities....other than Fred Thompson.

"Vacation" means going to the family reunion.

You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.

You laugh when people from anywhere north of TN tries to say or spell "y'all".

It's "Mar-vull" not "Mary-ville" It's "Knox-vull" not "Knox-ville".

A toboggan is a hat, not a sled.

You butter your hot biscuit by cutting it open, putting a slab of butter inside and closing it back up again.

Every town in East Tennesse has a "strip" and they're not particularly safe to be in at night.

Pigeon Forge is not pronounced with a French accent.

Gatlinburg does have an "L" in it and it should be pronounced.

Sales tax is 9.5%.

You shop at Walmart for groceries, not at a grocery store.

You don't drive in Knoxville on game-day. EVER.

You or your friends chew.

You can't remember the last time you saw snow.

You know when Elvis Presley Day is.

Being from California (The Bay Area!) I can say that ALL of those are very very true! In fact, sometimes I was "that" person! LOL

Those were funny... made me look for some for NC lol ...

• You measure distance in minutes
• You know Pepsi originated in New Bern, Cheerwine in Salisbury, and that Mountain Dew was invented in Fayetteville
• You know Coke tastes better in the little bottles and that peanuts make coke taste even better
• You have an opinion about UNC. You went there and loved it, or you hate everyone who did
• Your folks have taken trips to the mountains to look at leaves
• Your school took a field trip to the State Fair in Raleigh
• The local newspaper covers state, national, and international headlines in one page, but sports require six pages
• Most men in town consider the first day of deer season a national holiday
• Fifty degrees Fahrenheit is "a little chilly"
• You have no problem spelling or pronouncin' "Conetoe" or "Top Sail"
• Your school classes were canceled because of cold
• Your school classes were canceled because of heat
• Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waitin' to pass a tractor on the highway
• You know tea is served sweet unless you specifically asked for unsweetened
• You've ever had to switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day
• You think ethanol makes your truck run a lot better
• Stores don't have bags...they have sacks and are called Piggly Wigglys
• You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals
• You end your sentences with a preposition, for example, "Where's my coat at?" "What's that made out of?"
• All the festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or tobacco
• Priming was your first job...and you know what it means
• You put security lights on your house and your garage and leave both of them unlocked
• Your four seasons are almost summer, summer, still summer, and highway construction
• You can tell if another North Carolinian is from Eastern or Western North Carolina as soon as he opens his mouth
• You know Krispy Kreme makes the best doughnuts!
• When asked how your trip to any foreign, exotic place was you say, "It was different"
• Schools and churches hold barbecue fundraisers with banana puddin' as the dessert
• You have actually uttered the phrase "It's too hot to go to the pool"
• You consider being a "Pork Queen" an honor
• You know what "cow tipping" is.
• You say, “it don’t” instead of “it doesn’t.”
• At least one of your female relatives has dipped snuff
• Your luxury car is a 4x4
• You know what a turkey shoot is
• It ain't the Civil War, its the War of Northern Aggression
• Ya know what a pig pickin' is
• A seven course meal to you means a pack of Nabs and a Pepsi
• You know that "barbeque" means cookin pork on an open pit and a "cook out" is grilling hamburgers and hotdogs
• Your past tense of the verb "to see" is "seen", as in "I seen ya at the auction yesterday."
• You know that "Pop" is a sound; and "Soda" is used for baking

Know what, Be? It's all true!

hahaha septie. I like them all.

I tried to add one too. But the dumb page logged me out. So now I have to fix the list again. grrr!

You know you are from Holland when...

1. You greet people with ‘goeiemoggel’
2. You know that Coffee-Shops don’t sell Coffee
3. Once a year you dress all Orange
4. You’re ashamed the world’s best known (Dutch) beer is actually the worst.
5. Names as ‘Dick’ and ‘de Cock’ are just normal names to you.
6. You hate that people stole our word ‘lol’ (having fun).
7. You can’t live without ‘Drop, Hagelslag’ and ‘Stroopwafels’.
8. You have at least 2 bikes.
9. Driving a bike and evading cars, busses and pedestrians are your daily sports.
10. You think it's normal first and second graders at highschool have to learn 4 different languages, before they can drop one or two
11. No matter how often foreigners living in The Netherlands tell you to speak Dutch to you, even if you talk in Dutch to them, they will still reply back in English. Including the girl behind the kassadesk at the supermarket.
12. You know at least 50 people whose name start with ‘van’, ‘van de’ or ‘van der’.
13. You price-tag the fruit you take in the supermarket yourself
14. You think it's normal your boss is angry when you get to work 5 minutes late twice in a row.
15. You know the national anthem says ‘Dietschen Bloed’ (Germanic Blood), but however you and everybody else always sings ‘Duitsen Bloed’ (German Blood).
16. You’re able to pronounce ‘Hottentottententententoonstellingen’.
17. Or even better: ‘hottentottensoldatenvrachtwagenreservewielventieldopjestententen-
toonstellingsterreinentoezichthoudersverenigingsgebouwenliften-
onderhoudsmonteursgebruikershandleidingindexpaginanummertjes’
18. You know orange armored vans with TNT on the side don’t transport explosives but just your daily mail.
19. Every conversations start with how bad the weather is again today.
20. You call every hill bigger than 30 meter a mountain.
21. You know what business is taking place in the Red Light District.
22. You call everybody smaller than 1,80 meters little.
23. You find it normal that people dive in a frozen sea every first day of the year with their orange ‘Unox’ hat.
24. You know how to pronounce places as ‘Goes’, ‘Winterswijk’ and ‘Geertruidenberg’
25. You measures distances in kilometres and think everything a hour drive away is 'far away'.
26. You’re in a weird kind of way proud you have the highest gas prices in the world.
27. Windmills are no tourist attraction but just daily business
28. You think the Rabobank is the best bank in the world.
29. Buying junkfood out of the wall is normal.
30. You always automatically know where to find your bike in a chaos of 500 other black or dark blue bikes.
31. Stealing bikes is a national sport
32. A foreigner offers you a cup of coffee your always accidently say ‘ja, lekker’ instead of ‘yes, please’.
33. No matter where in the world you go, even the most unreachable places, there is always a Dutchie.
34. First thing you miss outside Holland are the ‘kroket’ and the ‘frikandel’.
35. You know Dutch and German are not the same.
36. Beers have only one size.
37. You know Queens, Kings and Princesses do not only exist in Fairytales
38. You always try to get things for free.
39. In the shops you find sextoys and porn movies straight next to the child movies and toys and you don’t even notice it.
40. You know most people don't wear wooden shoes and not everyone has tulips in their garden.
41. You always want to leave Holland, but when you leave you already miss it before you leave it.
42. You totally agree that ‘Maxima’ is the hottest princes in the whole world.
43. You sell grass, leaves and other useless stuff as ‘weed’ to French tourist for way too much money.
44. You know Santa Claus is just stolen from Sinterklaas.
45. You call things 'hij' (he) f.e. 'Hij is stuk' ( He is broken) instead of het (it)
46. You sometimes wish the Dutch ruled the world just like in history.
47. You’re standing on a dike and the roofs on the houses left are actually lower than the sea-level on the right.
48. You have a kind of hate-love relationship with the sea.
49. You think Dubai is nothing special because the Dutch already raised land out of the sea for hundreds of years.
50. You think it’s weird if there is no bicycle path going both ways.
51. You know Holland and The Netherlands are officially not really the same.
52. You had a radardetector, but since the police got to use the radardetector-detectors you now bought a radardetectator-detector-detector.
53. You know the four seasons: rainseason, warmer rainseason, lots of rain rainseason and cold rainseason.
54. You know Holland rules in electro/trance music.
55. You think its normal that in the lots of rain rainseason leaves on the rails cause huge delays for all of the trains.
56. You know Holland was once 3 times as big as it is now cause of overseas territory’s
57. You make jokes about Belgium’s being dumb.
58. You thereby happen to 'forget' that the Belgian team ALWAYS wins in the most wellknown and long running dutch language tv game show
59. You don’t mind losing a match against a other country as long as it Is not Germany
60. You think is normal to cross a border without stopping.
61. You’re able to pronounce ‘krab’ without saying ‘crap’.
62. When travelling by train you automatically calculate atleast a half hour delay of the train in your schedule
63. 80% of the time your on the way to your work your stuck in a traffic jam.
64. You always look out for tourists falling out of the sky because they did eat from the wrong mushrooms and think they can fly.
65. You know why driving a DAF in reverse is more fun than in the normal direction.

You know you're from Leeds when...

* Your definition of a small town is one that only has five pubs.

* 'pine trees' and 'traffic light' air fresheners come standard on all your cars.

* At least 50% of your relatives used to work 'downt pit'.

* You can make sense out of the word Asthagorowttegivus.

* You have ever gotten frostbitten and suntanned in the same week.

* You identify a Sheffield accent as "Southern".

* You know what "twocking" is. (Taking Without Owners Consent)

* You learned to drive a Reliant Robin before the training wheels were off your bike.

* "Down South" to you means Derbyshire.

* Snap is something you eat.

* You know that a bag of spice is something kids eat.

*You have no problem saying Peniston.

* You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Bitter/Ale.

* Summat to Eight is a meal, not the time of day.

* You used to think Mischievous Night was included as an official school holiday.

* You have one word that means Hello, How are you,Whats this, Hang on a minute and bloody hell! (Ayup..) (I love that one)

* Kids roar..

* pop is a drink, not your grandad

* You are unaware there is a legal drinking age.

* You know that "Oo war shi wi", "She wa wi ersen", O wa Shee Naa" "aaah shi wa" isn't Chinese

*You can pronounce "Alhambra" but can't spell it.

* A girl is a lass, a boy is a lad

* You know Leeds is so brilliant they named a Castle 240 Miles away after it!

* Dear means expensive!

* You have bought an award winning pork pie from Wilsons

* Your mum is your mam Your Gran is your Nan

* They both call Marks and Spencers, Marks and Sparks!!!

* You think Harry Ramsdens is expensive and a rip off and that Seafarer, Skyliner, Brians, Mermaid, Wetherby Whaler or Coes are much better

* You know the Leodis pub and the historical significance of the name

* You know what a loiner is and you're proud to be one

* You refer to going to the UK's 2nd financial centre and 3rd largest city by population (Leeds) as "town"

* You remember when Marks & Spencers only had one shop and it was in town

* You know all the words to "marching on together"

* You never use the word "the" except when writing (tee hee hee!)

* You know that a Rhino isn't just a big grey animal that lives in Africa

* You have been for a beer on a boat which is nowhere near any water

* You think slightly overcast and cold is good weather

* You don't use Black and Whites taxis cos they are too dear

* You would never go to Gipton, Chapeltown or Halton Moor at night or alone.

* You still call Gregg's, Thurston's

* You know that t' ring road isn?t actually a ring it?s a C

* You dislike the fact you share an airport with Bradford.

* You call everyone love

* You call going to the swimming pool going to the baths

* You put milk in the cup first when making a pot of tea

heheehe :P I could go on... so I will

You know you are Dutch when...

• You know how soccer is played. Of coarse, you call this sport voetbal (football). If you're male, you can argue intricate points about its rules. You've heard of American football but don't know how it works. The only sport that can also arouse your passion is speed ice skating.
• You consider four weeks of vacation a year normal, and in many professions count on a 36-hour working week.
• Most likely you are not religious, or religious in a very loose way. There are people in your country who have very strict religions. You consider this either quaint or somewhat scary. Except for some Jehovah's witnesses or Mormons knocking on your door, nobody will ask you whether you believe in Heaven.

• Raw herring is a well-liked delicacy.
• There are inland flights, but the chance you've ever used one is close to zero. Most likely because they would take about 5 minutes, tops. If you are between the ages of three and eighty, you own at least one bicycle and use it, too.
• You need to be 18 to get a drivers license. You have to take paid lessons and cannot practice on your own. This makes getting a drivers license very expensive.
• You find a multi-party system natural, and can hardly imagine another fair way to run a country. You expect your country to be ruled by a coalition of two or three major parties, not by a single party. It would scare you to give one point of view so much power. You think consensus is more important in politics than rhetoric. You expect politicians to be inefficient at times, and sometimes stupid, but you don't expect them to get into politics for self-enrichment.
• You take it on faith that nobody abroad (except in Belgium) speaks your language, and are amazed if anybody has bothered to learn it.
• An income tax rate of 60% is high, but you think that people who earn a lot of money should pay high taxes. You don't believe in a trickle-down effect.
• School is free through high school (at least, it's an option, even if you went to private school); university isn't. You expect the state to help you pay for university, if your parents can't. Schoolmoney per year is about 1500 euro's.
• The date comes first: 5/5/45. (And you know what happened on that date.)
• If a politician has been cheating on his wife, you consider this bad form, but no reason for him to resign, unless he's from some conservative religious party.
• For a politician to show off his wife or kids during an election campaign is ridiculous, since you don't understand what do they have to do with his work. You don't even know wheter most party leaders are married, divorced, single or whatever.
• Credit cards are accepted in many shops, though, but they are mostly for yuppies and snobs, and you don't have one. You pay cash in shops, or use a debit card.
• A company can't fire just anybody it wants. For this reason, many companies hire temporary workers through an employment agency.
• You count on excellent medical treatment. You take it for granted that health care insurance is universal, and even grant illegal immigrants the right to basic medical assistance.
• You drive on the right side of the road. You stop at red lights even if nobody's around. If you're a pedestrian and cars are stopped at a red light, you will fearlessly cross the street in front of them.
• You consider the Volkswagen Beetle to be a small to medium sized car.
• Unemployment benefits are your right, you've paid for them after all, and of course people who don't have any money should get welfare-- should they starve or what? But you also think that there are a lot of people cheating the system.
• Germany and the Germans are overbearing neighbors. You get along well with them, but Germans are known to be arrogant, which you are always alert to point out them. The war is not forgotten, and most people have elderly family members who were killed, deported or otherwise mistreated by the Nazis. Germany never returned the bicycles it stole, either. Even the most politically correct can make jokes or disparaging remarks about Germans and get away with it. Your greatest dream is beating Germans in the World Cup finals.
• France is a country that doesn't understand your soft drugs policy. This is arrogant. It is a great place for summer vacation, and you like their cheese and wine.
• You think it ridiculous that any private person would want to have a firearm. The government should protect you against such people.
• You think its normal that any woman who wants to can get an abortion, a nd that sex education and contraceptives are freely available. It's nothing out of the ordinary to see naked breasts on TV and in advertisements.
• Same sex marriages are totally normal. So is a minister taking part in the Gay Parade in Amsterdam, even though he's straight.
• Your country used to have colonies but you rarely think about this.
• Changing your name is very difficult. It takes a lot of paperwork, you need to convince the authorities that you have a good reason to change your name, and you need the Queen's permission (yes, really!)
• You can drink alcohol at age 16. IDs are not often asked for.
• You were born in a hospital or at home (these are about equally likely) and were delivered by a midwife, general practitioner or gynecologist. Unless she had a cesarean, your mother did not take anesthesia during the delivery. Your father was most likely present at your birth.
• You put mayonnaise on your french fries.

What makes them funny is that they are so true! Is pot illegal in Cali? And what's with the traffic lights that are specifically for U-turns? Who does that?!?

I agree.. what makes them funny is they are sooo true.. lol JUst noticed a few important ones I forgot to list. I remember when working at my first office job, I was running around looking for gumbands .. Folks at work had no idea what I was talking about. I said, you know those stretchy things. And I'd "red" up my desk at the end of the day. Folks had no idea what I was doing until I explained.. Here are a few I missed on the first llist

Words like: gumband; and pop actually mean something to you
The plural of "you" is "youns."
You know the expression, "Hey naw! Watchya dewin'
You ask the waitress for "dippy ecks" for breakfast.
You do things "wunst," as in "I'll go check in the back room wunst."
You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today, "and THEY want snow wunst."
You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET

Upstate New Yorker here...can truly identify with almost winter, winter, and still winter!!!!

Me thinks it's still winter! The key word being still!!!!

Bermuda here I come!!

March 14th is almost ****ing here!

you know youre from dorset when:

-you think that 2 black people in a school of 1500 is 'multicultural'.
-no one has a rural accent.
-you know if someone starts talking with a dorset accent, they're not from dorset.
-its normal for teenagers to tacklehug you in the street. accept this. they will be your friends for life.
-you think that a village of 30 houses is huge.
-you probably know how to bumpstart a tractor.
-driving 7 miles is usual if you intend on getting anywhere.
-foreigners think that there is something in the water.
-you know that bournemouth is more dangerous than new york.
-you expect it to rain. all day. every day.
-you have never seen snow.
-your parents car is worth about as much as your shoes.
-you have been to the tank museum. twice.
-you've dated a squaddie.
-three 12 yr olds is a gang.
-these 12 year olds scare you.
-one of these 12 year olds is probably pregnant.
-we can tell the difference between a somerset accent and a dorset accent.
-one of your relatives is a farmer. if this isnt true, one of your friends/friends relatives is a farmer.
-9 out of 10 people you know owns a gun of some form.
-you're related to everyone else in your village.
-a common sport is to ride the bus service till you get chucked off.
-you still get IDed in a nightclub when you're in your 40's.
-you live right near the beach, but havent been there in 10 years.
-health and safety rules say you must get an electrician to change a fuse.
-health and safety rules are something to be ignored.
-no girl over 13 is a virgin.
-english is not the main language. instead, people choose to spell incoherently.
-ooooofff sexxiii, yuur gawjuzz! is both understandable, and a compliment.
-people are not your friends. they are your owners.
-smoking age is on average, 10 years old.

Haha, I love this one because 50% of them is true. c(: I had to bold all the ones that were so me haha. (:

2. You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.
3. You snicker when someone's from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital.
4. You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
5. You've heard of 3.2% beer.
6. Schools close for the state basketball tournament. Deer season, too.
7. You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.
8. You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
9. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
10. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
11. "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south."
12. You've heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.
13. You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
14. You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there.
15. You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas *(Wapakoneta?) and you know which letter is doubled in "Cincinnati."
16. You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.
17. You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.
18. You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.
19. "Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island.
20. You measure distance in minutes.
21. .Down south to you means Kentucky.
22. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
23. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
24. You go to Florida every year for a "vay-cay."
25. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
26. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
27. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
28. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
29. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
30. You carry jumper cables in your car.
31. You know what pop is.
32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
33. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
34. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
35. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
36. You think that deer season is a national holiday.
37. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

I'm enjoying them all

bebop
I grew up in Calif. but haven't been back in 20+ years. You list was so true even 20 years ago. LOL

radioflyer
Oh so true. LOL My roots are in PA. I have two more for you but really only apply to small towns (and there are a lot of them)
1) Every Tues. night is always bingo night at the firehouse.
2) There are parking places for horses with carts in some parking lots

Thank you all

froggy I am glad you are enjoying these! that is my goal!

What an enjoyable read! Great for when you need a distraction to take your mind off stuff you don't want to think about. Got lots of LOLs and LMBO or two.

Thanks, everyone!

YOU MIGHT BE FROM KENTUCKY IF... the ones that are true...are marked with a **

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.*
2. "Vacation" means going to the family reunion.*
3. You've seen all the big bands ten years after they were popular.*
4. You measure distance in minutes.*
5. You know several people who have hit a deer.*
6. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.*
7. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.*
8. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.***
9. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
10. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.*
11. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.*
12. You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.*
13. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.**
14. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fix'n to go to the store.*
15. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.*
16. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.*
17. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.*
18. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.*
19. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.*
20. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.*
21. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.*
22. You think sexy lingerie is a T-shirt and boxer shorts.
23. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.* University of Ky vs UK!
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.*
25. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
26. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."*
27. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.*
28. You know whether another Kentuckian is from southern, middle, or northern Kentucky as soon as they open their mouth.* ooooooh yes!
29. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
30. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin' wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."** you have no idea!
31. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.** and our stores put the ingredients on sale those days
32. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop .... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.** yep
33. You recognize that cheese grits and catfish nuggets is a meal that must have been bestowed upon the by the Lord Himself.**just the grits..
34. You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour and water (a delicacy known as "Biscuits N' Gravy").* yum
35. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends.