[Tmac]

I lost my brother on April 20th he was 42 rather quickly. May 2nd I losy a good friend also my sister-in-laws trin brother he was 41 but he took his own life. With the other issues in my life right now I feel like I am unable to grieve over them the proper way. My brother was my s. abuser so that makes it more complicated. I am unsure how I should feel about him so that does make it harder. I visit his grave every week and place flower and leave hin a cigarette. I have not seen him in 10 years. so it is real complicated. All the while I am dealing with PTSD from an assault in October. Right now I feel like I am not true to myself because I can not grieve. I am wondering if anyone else had too many life events at once that stops you from being able to grieve over a loved one or in my case 2 people to grieve over. The other reason I find it hard to grieve for my brother is my mother. There some questions surrounding his death, so her way of handling it is anger at his estranged wife. That is constantly being projected out to me and other and I feel like it is holding me back from the grieving process. Any suggestions?

[susan888]

(((Tmac)))....I lost my Mom 1 1/2 yrs ago but we still had unresolved issues...feel very guilty about that now... I think I am just now starting to deal with her death. She was my best friend in my 20's and 30's but everything changed when she got sick...she turned to my brother and his wife who ended up putting her in a nursing home....I still don't understand, but I guess there are so many questions that I will never get an answer to now that she is gone....

P.S... I lost my Dad to suicide when I was 8... You just don't ever get over that....

You will feel it when you are ready to....When your mind is able to deal with it...Don't rush it...Grief is different for everyone.

[bebop]

I think hon when you have so much going on that yes it is very hard to grieve. I lost so many in one year I thought I had grown cold to death. somehow I got past it but it still bothered me.

[(JD)]

Tmac I hope you can be satisfied with "being" right now and not necessarily grieving, or worrying about not grieving. PTSD can cause some out of normal type reactions, and otherwise normal PTSD responses, meaning that you may be numbing from it all, as a protection mechanism. When you "know" it's safe to grieve, you will. Try to "just" be for the time being. There's no required time limit on grieving. TC

[rappacinisgarden]

(((Tmac))) Sorry about your losses, these are hard times for you. But yes, I think that when you are handling many things at once it may kind of "block" you out of many emotions that you think you must feel. On the other side, I think grief will come with time properly once you sort out your "insides", but take it easy, little by little... Truelly, Rap