[happierdays]

I found my uncle (by marriage) almost 3 years ago he had committed suicide. He had hung himself, I walked into his body in the dark.

We weren't CLOSE, he said grace at all our family gatherings and he was my insurance man. We weren't not close either.

I don't remember anything for about a week after and the anniversary is coming up. I find myself getting very anxious and angry. I'm ashamed that I feel angry. I feel like it wasn't a big deal and I just need to deal with it and move on. But i'm struggling. I'm not sure why this has had such an impact on me.

[pegasus]

Sending hugs ((((((((( happierdays ))))))))))

I think it would be awful for anyone to find someone hanging and more so if you knew the person aswell. I hope you can get some support to talk this through. Be gentle with you, that was a very traumatic experience.

[Christina86]

Yes, you ALWAYS have the right to grieve.



It's normal to be angry, especially around losing a family member or friend (even if they weren't close) to suicide.

((( happierdays )))

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Finding someone dead is very traumatizing. They were able to bring my brother back to life after he was dead on arrival. I found him. It haunts me to this day and it was many, many years ago.

Grief is not exclusive to those that are close to us, so you grieve all you need to.

[Rhapsody]

((( HUGS ))) - may the wounds that haunt you stop and offer some PEACE.

[happierdays]

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm going to see my counselor today maybe that will help.

Thanks Again

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by happierdays

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm going to see my counselor today maybe that will help.

Thanks Again

I'm glad you're going to see your counselor today. Good timing! Hope it helps.....

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( happierdays ))))))))))))))))))
You do always have the right to grieve

[thinker22]

That's a serious thing. Don't be so hard on yourself. My brother died 6 years ago and it's still not resolved for me and I didn't even watch him die. I saw his body at the funeral, but it was so unreal. It hurts when someone dies by any method, but suicide is the most confusing for those left behind, which is why I'm trying to get well so I don't cause that for others. To be the person who found him and to have walked into him in the dark is cause for need of therapy alone, even if you didn't have any other issues going on. Take care of yourself and try to work through it whatever way you can (writing, painting, talking to your T, etc.). Take as much time as you need.

[Rmdctc]

You always have the right to grieve. I think even more so since you found him. I would think that would be awful. I hope you feel better!

[Ratanddragon]

I don't think that "right" is a good word here. The feelings are there and need to be dealt with. My personal strategy to date has been to bury pain and try to move on, usually prefaced by telling myself I didn't have the "right" to feel what I was feeling, or some variation thereof. This strategy has not been very successful so far. The stuff comes back out and plays anyway. Talk to people here if you need to. Work it out. But please, for your own sake, don't try to bury the grief you feel.