[wisewoman]

I do the grief and loss thing every day. I watch people I care for die and my big thing is to help them have a loving smooth transition to the next world. Well, I have 2 friends who are dying. One a younger woman in her 50's who had a cancer metastisis and has a few days if not less. I went to see her today and gave her hell and told her it was but another journey. Well, the weird part is that there were precautions on the door about wearing mask etc as the bacteria that is killing her is resistant. Of course I didn't see it and I hugged and kissed her a few times. She is my friend because we saw eachothers souls and loved eachother in our own way. She is religious, I am not. She was embarrassed to be without her wig. Big deal to me. I told her I like the natural look. She is passing and my only grief is that she be well loved and attended. My other friend is an almost 65 year old whom I have been helping with final arrangements and a trust. I have to push issues like the fact that b.m.s don't make it to toilet. He has yeast throughout and in my experience, that is a late sign. I worry about his pain management and want him to have the right drugs on hand as I know he will turn fast, and I want to treat the sypmtoms like thrush at the same time. Thrush is painful. So today we spoke of songs at his memorial. He wants christian songs, that is okay. We will do what he wishes. he is my friend, like a big sib with great advice and wisdom. I want to help him die well and I want to help his family. I have hundreds of losses of clients I have been close to. Thease are my friends but the feelings are the same. Love and guidance on their journey. Peace to my black haired friend and peace to the balding grey lady who wore a red wig. Comfort and safety and love in their hearts.

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((WW))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry for the pain this must be causing you. Dealing with death is quite hard but to have two friends dying. That must be overwhelming for you and i am sorry that your dealing with that. Your a great friend for helping and dealing with such a difficult situation.
I'm sending love to your blacked haired friend and to the balding grey lady who wears the red wig.

My thoughts are with you too WW.

what a tremendous amount to deal with........these folks are lucky to have you ........

[wisewoman]

Thanks guys. I told a nurse friend at the hospital yesterday that I get so weary of people dying and she reminded me it's what I do. Well, a lot of what I do. It's hard period, but then when it's friends it's.....

Dear WiseWoman: How blessed these two people are to have you in their lives...what a wonderful thing you do for people. I lost an 88 year old friend in November. Cancer. He was in a lot of pain and I did facilitate him getting morphine so his leaving was much more comfortable for him and his family. It's a lovely thing to help a person be comfortable and and loved. Thank you for your gift. Pat

[wisewoman]

ahhh, thanks Pat, it is a gift to be there, to be able, and it is a gift that costs peices of me that I always need to replenish somehow. You guys help with that. The real honest loving connections with my clients and my friends help. Life is too weird. Today I was working and realized that a family I had already dedicated myself to helping facilitate their transition, had connections with my hubby and youngest! Weird, special, meant to be? Honestly it was so strange.

[Mahali]

((( wisewoman )))

What a great soul you must have to help people as you do. You are truly amazing to me. What a wonderful person.

I am sorry you are experiencing these losses. Please take care of you.

I am sending peaceful wishes for you and your dear friends.

place

[wisewoman]

Place you are so kind. I wish I could explain it but it's just so important to my soul to help people feel loved and valued and safe as they are making this transition. It's important to me that we not treat it as a big scarey boggie monster. I am referring to illness that leads to death over time. Lots of times people just die and that is different. we are all going to do it. My advanced directives stat that I want to be attended 24x7 by someone who loves me in my final stages. I want to be sung to and talked to and have people tell me the funny stories in our lives. By the way, it's also important to me that people who are not dying, just us peoples are treated with love and respect. We each have a gem to offer the world and we each need the love and to give the love. I hope this makes some sense. I can't even tell Hubby I met his friend today because of confidentiality. She is my client's daughter. Odd how things work out. Also, my black haired friend's son calls me every night and talks about what is happening and how his dad is changing and how best to help him.

We have become quite close and I am glad I can be there for him. We are already planning the memorial and I am excited to know people who can sing the songs he likes. Long post, sorry.

[Mahali]

Wisewoman,

Thank you. I think you explained everything very well. I think you make great contributions to this world. How wonderful for these people to have you in their lives. I not only think it makes some sense...I think it makes great sense.

You are a very special person.

place

[wisewoman]

Oh thanks so much. Love to you.

[wisewoman]

Goodbye to my read-headed wigged friend. 4:30 this a.m. When our friend who was sitting with her asked her if she was going to join the pope, she said, only if I get to wear his hat! That was. is my friend. Try to explain to a group of older and disabled people today that her passing was beautiful and peaceful and what she wanted. Goodbye Oliveoil

i'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend.........she sounded like a very special lady.....

[SpazKatt]

I am sorry for your loss *hugs*

[darkeyes]

Oh this is heartbreaking, it is a beautiful thing though, that these people have been fortunate to have a good friend like you.
Warm wishes for you, and that your friends will find peace.

Sincerely,
DE

[wisewoman]

Today it stings some, thanks for the support all. I can be philisophical a lot but sometimes I am just tired.