A few days ago I was told of my fathers passing away at 62 years. I have not seen or spoken to him for nearly 17 years. There was no falling out as such, he has just never really been interested in my life. I come from a very dysfunctional family and he has several other children much youger than me, to various partners. He was never a part of my childhood, although he should have been considering I was living in a very abusive household. I have often thought about how I would feel,in the event of his death. The emotions I am feeling have taken me completely by surprise. I have cried endlessly, feel sick and am unable to eat. I have deep sadness. The memorial service is not for another 2 weeks, but I dont feel able to attend. I would be a stranger at a strangers funeral. I think the sadness I feel , is not for the loss him as a person, but perhaps the loss of the relationship I never had. I dont know! I would appreciate any comments.

[mysterytour]

i'm so sorry to hear of the death of your father......and i am sure that you are very much mourning the loss of any relationship with him.......no matter how little he may have been involved in your life...he was still your father.......i hope you feel better soon.....

[Slippers]

I think attending the memorial might be helpful for your healing...maybe just consider it.



I'm so sorry for your loss.

Slippers