Gone but not forgotten

My Mum died late August last year. The last few weeks I have felt bits of sadness here and there. Not a lot of sadness for a lifetime. On her last night I stayed with her. I haven't talked much about it. The crappy bits where she was in pain. The good bits when we tried singing together. She couldn't even speak. I want to speak with my T about it.

Most of our lives we were both prickly with each other. Truly not much of a relationship existed. I have DID so most of my emotions are buried. My T says its okay to feel anger. I am still looking under rocks and trying to find it. Mum and Dad (dec) both had crappy lives. Just how do I grieve for something I never had?

Oh Possum! I lost my mum some years back, but what you said resonates with me.

It was several months before "it" hit me. I left that "I can't believe she's gone" stage and moved into being angry with her for leaving. Then, at the same time, I'd turn around and remember how she was just all worn out, and couldn't go on. I would and still do feel gratitude that she was no longer suffering.

Allowing myself to feel these feelings, name them and know that they are mine and mine alone is worthwhile work.

Do talk with your T about what you said here. Mine helped me so much. I wish the same for you.

Possum, I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mom. It was little of a year ago. She was very sick as well. It is very hard to deal with. My thoughts are with you. And it is good to talk to someone about it. I don't have a T myself but I talk to people on here and it has helped me deal with it.

(((Possum)))

I went to P'doc today. Me thinks its going to be an interesting journey grieving for my parents...... I am so tired tonight.