[Dandelion8]

Lost my grandma a week ago, and am having significant issues. Obviously it is always hellacious to lose a loved one, but I am feeling like life as I knew it is over.

As a child, my parents, although wonderful, were not always there for me in the traditional sense. My father was a quadriplegic and my mother severely depressed. My grandparents always filled in the gaps for me. I placed them on a pedestal from an early age. I lost my dad when I was sixteen. Naturally, although my dad was still a hero to me, I leaned on my grandpa even more than before. After losing my grandpa, I really had a pretty bad depressive episode because I think I had not fully mourned the loss of my dad physically because of his disability and then I did not fully mourn his actual death so when my grandpa passed it was like a floodgate. My mom was never the same after my dad died, when my grandpa died, my mom moved in with my grandma and they supported eachother. They were friends too, so close. Now that my grandma is gone, I am seriously concerned for my mom. I am feeling resentful in some regard, because my grandma was so important to me and I want to mourn her, but instead I am preoccupied with my mom's depression and her ability to cope.

Where my mom left off my grandma picked up so to speak. She was special beyond words, a definite angel, and as long as she was there, I felt safe, and I felt like my mom was safe, and the good memories from my childhood were preserved. Now that she is gone, my mom is lost, and frankly so am I. How do I get myself through this, as well as my mom?

[lynn P.]

(((Dandelion8))) - I'm very sorry for the loss of your grandmother. She sounded like a wonderful woman. It's always difficult when we lose a loved one, but especially one who was a 'pillar' of the family. Does your mom see a therapist and on medication for her depression? I think you both would benefit from some grief counseling. It's normal to feel a gap since she was such an important person in your life. Hopefully she passed on some of her strength to you.

[Sabrina]

I am very sorry for the loss of your precious Grandmother.