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#1
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June 2006.
He is gone. They found him. He is gone. This is what my mother told me over the phone, when she was telling me about my cousins suicide. The following minutes after the phone hit the wall still seem like a blur. What was the anger at that point is still a reminder today with 2 shattered knuckles and a scar that haunts me. I lost someone that day, that had no idea that I understood the pain he was feeling. I've lost the one person that truly understands my pain and following. I've never opened up about this loss, since its cut I feel will never truly heal. I still cannot look at pictures of him, they almost haunt me. My mother describes them to me, telling me that he is smiling in the photo but I still cannot look. I've written something to him .. and would like to share it. "I miss you my friend. I always looked forward to seeing you at Christmas and other holidays. You were so amazing with everything you did, you were more than a cousin .. you were a great friend. I cherish your memory everyday and the more I think about it .. I live with your memory. I am now seeking much needed help to fix my problems and I use your memory to help with my fight. I hope that when my times comes .. you will be the one to greet me at the gates. I cannot be angry with you anymore, you did what you thought was right at the time but I wish I could have told you everything I was feeling." I love you Jeff .. I Miss You. Онлы Тхе Гоод Дие Ыоунг ( Only The Good Die Young )
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Paranoid: Very High Schizoid: High Schizotypal: Moderate Antisocial: High Borderline: Very High Histrionic: Low Narcissistic: High Avoidant: High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: High ~The*Chosen*Soldier~ |
#2
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I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Soldier. I am very close to my cousin too, and I can't begin to imagine what my world would be like without her.
Sending huge, safe warm hugs to you. Remember you are strong and you can get through this.
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She's all alone again Wiping the tears from her eyes Green Day - Extraordinary Girl ![]() Thanks for the photo ZilchHour |
![]() TheChosenSoldier13
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#3
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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![]() Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
#4
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I'm soooo sorry
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I can feel you all around me Thickening the air i'm breathing Holding on to what i'm feeling Savoring this heart thats healing ![]() |
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