[Yoda]

You may be a redneck if...




they have to call the police to your funeral.



Yes I am serious.

My grandmother died two weeks ago. She was 94 years old and had Alzheimers. I will miss her but I know she was suffering because her mind was so confused.

My grandmother had a large family. She had 11 children, 24 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren and 4 great-great-grandchildren. Some of my family are strange. Well okay most of the family.

One of my cousins gets the prize though. She was in a vehicular accident several years ago and had a head injury and it has really affected her mind. She broke into my grandmother's house to steal a deviled egg plate that she had given to my grandmother as a gift. She has been in trouble with the law numerous times. The day my grandmother died she crawled under my mom's house wearing camouflage and a ski mask and cut the phone wires and then carried away a rocking chair down the hill. We think she may have mistakenly thought it was grandmother's chair.

We worried that she might make a scene at the funeral. She did. When she arrived at the funeral home she went directly to her father who is in a wheelchair and always on oxygen and she started yelling at him because he was at the funeral but he had not gone to her son's hs graduation. A couple of my aunts put their arms around her to protect my uncle and she bit one aunt and stomped the other in the leg. The police said if they took her to jail they would have to take the people who restrained her too and the magistrate would have to sort it out. So the police just told her to leave the premises and not to go to the burial site or they would arrest her.

I TOLD you guys my family is strange.

[Rohag]

Dear Yoda, my sincere condolences on the passing of your grandmother. I hope good memories of her will be of comfort.

I gather from your description of the funeral that you were at least somewhat emotionally prepared for . . . oddities. May any trauma associated with the event soon dissipate.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

[Perna]

Wow, Yoda. My girlfriend's father's wake was crashed by an outsider and the family turned that into a "fun" thing (her father would have appreciated having his wake crashed :-) and took pictures with the crasher, who just kept saying, (while stuffing the shrimp cocktail into her mouth) that she was the 3rd cousin, 4 times removed of the aunt they'd never heard of sorts of things. It was at a private club in the middle of nowhere, she'd have to have taken a bus over an hour to get there. . .

I too hope you have good memories of your grandmother and I'm glad your uncle wasn't hurt. Sorry your cousin is like that; I have a couple weird cousins but nothing quite like that. I liked the title of this thread; reminded me of my brother-in-law's funeral; no one really liked him so, while it was well attended for my sister's sake, no one cried or was upset! There were in-laws of in-laws attending who didn't understand why no one was sad and had to have it discreetly explained.

[(JD)]

I think all families have stories about funerals and wakes, after all, they do involve family! But I have to admit that your's is quite interesting!

So sorry to hear of your loss.

[Nupoet64]

Much comfort your way...

[jbug]

I'm sorry this happened but it sounds like you are handling it better than I would have.

I know I have some strange cousins too and other family members but then again I think all families do.

Jan

[lynn P.]

((Yoda)) - sorry for the loss of your Grandmother. I have to say I enjoyed reading your story - sounds like a scene out of a movie.

[justjoanie]

I'm sorry for your loss (((((((Yoda)))))))
I think funerals bring out the best and the worst in people. Sounds like it brought out the best in you.

[grandmaof2angels]

Sorry for your lost of your grandmother. As Jbug said, all families has one or two or three etc. Our family sure has enough of them. We always end up calling the cops to funerals and weddings for someone there. LOL Most of the time it's because of alcohol. I too like your title, esp. since I live in Redneck country. LOL Again sorry for your lost.

[sunsetsunrise]

My condonences Yoda. I am sorry for the passing of your grandmother. As many have said, I hope you have good memories. I must say you surely do have an amusing story to tell. May your cousing find peace. And may your family find peace trying to deal with the oddities surrounding your cousin. By the way, I do think you are a good story teller. I hope it is okay that i laughed at some of your descriptions.