[katheryn]

loosing someone is bad enough for anyone but the close family and friends go on suffering some in silence some shout about it, since my good friend passed away end of march i have missed her so much, but i put my energy into helping her children out, as she used to care for her grandchildren while her children worked, back then seeing her once a week was lovely being able to pick the phone up and chat about anything was great,

now we are coming to the end of the school holidays they go to school on the 6th,the little girl will be 7 in january and shes well settled in school, but the 3yr old starts on mon it will be his first day, so we wont be needed so much any more , possibly some after school stuff, but it doesnt look very likely at the moment
as we were looking after most of this week but there other granny has stepped into do tomorrow and Friday

i do have one of the other little girls who will be 3 in oct for a few hours while her granny goes to work to check stuff out ready for the new term on mon (she works in a school kitchen) we didnt look after her so much as her granny always did the school hols taking the pressure of my friend

it feels today that since there mum rang that i am loosing her all over again i see them going of to school and not needing us any more, feel like we are being pushed out of the familys life, not sure if this is whats happing but its how it feels to me

maybe its part of the grief, as i would of done anything for this friend and helping out was my way of helping her

[lynn P.]

((Katheryn)) - I'm sorry you're still grieving and so kind of you to help the family of your friend. I wonder if taking care of her grand kids was your way of dealing with the pain. Now they're moving onto a new stage in their life and you're left wondering how to cope with grief that's still strong. Maybe this was preventing you from feeling the pain because you weren't sure you could handle it - what do you think? Sending strong hugs to hold you up Katheryn.