[BrokenNBeautiful]

I went on a grief forum somewhere and shared about coming finally to terms with my aunt's death in 2008 and no one answered me.

Again, i felt invalidated.

It is hard enough for me to talk without being ignored! When my aunt first passed, no one even encouraged me to talk.

I need to know that ppl can relate to me in my loss.

I need to know that I don't have to cope alone!

Billi

[lynn P.]

(((Billi leli))) - I'm sorry no one responded and sorry you feel alone. Your Aunt must have been a special woman and you're lucky to have felt her love. Grief is such a hard thing to go through ...its different for everyone. Maybe you can tell me a little about her and what made her special to you. I logging off now, since I have to wake up early for my girls - but I'll check back tomorrow to see if you felt like sharing about this dear person in your life.

[AAAAA]

I'm glad that you were able to come to terms with your Aunt's death. I am so sorry for your loss. Before my father died, I thought I was able to be empathetic and sympathetic. I'd lost very dear people in the past. I've learned I didn't know nearly as much as I thought I did. I now feel at a loss as to how to reply.

Please share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.

[Yoda]

I am sorry for your loss.

[PlanningtoLive]

You are not alone, Billi. You were kind enough to reach out to me in my time, let me be there for you. Thank you.

Mary Alice

[BrokenNBeautiful]

wow, ty everyone.

I don't understand why it's so hard to talk about it.

My aunt and I had a very complicated, love-hate-by-turns relationship, at least from my end. One moment we were in each other's arms, the next moment, we were in heated conflict. One moment, it seemed like we knew a secret language together, the next moment, one of us was saying to the other, "What the h are you talking about?"

I have tried some bereavement groups, mostly online and one locally. I still cant' really connect with people (social anxiety) and still cant' really talk about her cause it was sooooo complicated.

I am wise enough to know that ppl can grieve ppl, even if they were abused by the person who died, but I am still very self-conscious about it.

I wish I could just "She was wonderful." or "She was awful". But it's not that simple.

ty all for reaching out to me, ty Mary Alice for acknowledging what I did for you.

That feels good.

Billi

[(JD)]

Few people are "awful" or "wonderful" only, all the time. I'm not, though I wish I were (wonderful).

That's part of the grief response, to find that balance between who you wanted them to be (and maybe who they wanted to be) and who they really were ... and that Jeckyll Hyde dilemma in most of us.