still?

My mother passed May 09 ... I was a health care surrogate for her, and her attorney-in-fact. It took quite a battle because a sister, not in mom's will/trust, caused problems. On the anniversary of Pop's birthday (also close to his death day and mom's as well) I visited the grave and found that mom's name was no where to be found. I sent siblings a photo asking what's wrong with this picture. That was first week of July. NOW I've received a response from one of them, saying what?

Ok so now they have taken the ball to get mom's name on the site plate. Nope, funeral home won't speak to them because the sister NOT in the trust owns the plot and signed the contract. Not so. I suggest the one brother contact my other sister who brought the sister NOT in the trust into the mix, and since she has a copy of the trustee assignments, to have her fax it to them. Brother responds with let's not place blame.

Ok... but other sister does NOT own the plot, the TRUST does, and sis and I are trustees (with me being first attorney in fact.)

Will it never end? I kept my joint account with mom open just in case something rears it's head. It's bad enough that I lost that P O Box that is listed as my contact address on the attorney in fact notice, and have a different one now.

I was in a pain flare before this ... so difficult to get my mind off this garbage. I loved mom, but she might not have her name on the grave for a long time!

((JD)) - I'm very sorry this is happening. It's hard enough when you have the grief from a dear parents death and then to make matters worse...problems with siblings. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be. This is something that should be taken of ASAP - every deceased person deserves their name on their grave.

When my brother passed away from AIDS 6 yrs ago - he didn't have a will. He owned a condo and his estate was split between the remaining siblings but NOT before we put a marker on his grave.

I pray this gets resolved very soon ((JD)) and so sorry this is flaring your pain challenges.

My mother passed about 3 years ago and her name was not on the stone until I who had the deed to the plot, decided to just go ahead and pay. They said that the person who has the deed is the one who decides what is written and pays unless others want to help. So who has the deed? They decide how much to engrave and the cost. I hope that helpes?