[.:ronnie89:.]

i am having trouble getting over the fact that my husband left me. i have such a feeling of abandonment inside me. i am moving on with my life but at times i still have urges to want to cry because for some reason or anotehr i start thinking about him or whatever. i don't quite understand it. i just want the hurt feeling to go away but it seems that no matter how hard i try it won't leave. its like a nightmare that i haven't quite figured out yet. am i really grieving the loss of my husband even though we were having trouble in the marraige? is that really possible? how? i don't know anymore.

[AAAAA]

It is normal to grieve the loss of a marriage. Even if the relationship was an unhealthy one, at some point he had to make you happy. You grieve for the loss of what was and what could have been. It takes time, how long has it been?

[.:ronnie89:.]

i know but still hurts i cant get over it and i have been trying for 6 months now... i give up

[madisgram]

sometimes i find that allowing myself to grieve helps..meaning i sit quietly and review the sorrow and loss. i had to divorce my husband and even tho i had to do that i felt sorrow. it's like a death. so allow yourself to feel it rather than trying to avoid it. don't dwell in it but pick times to let the tears flow. it will cleanse you of the sadness. don't know why it works but each time i'd do it the sorrow lessened. hope this helps you.

[.:ronnie89:.]

i do but lately it has been effecting me alot more. i just don't know how to deal with it anymore. i am so used to everything being screwed up but yet i still get wigged out when i look and realize they are screwed up. i guess that is because in my mind i have created a world were screw up are a normality and things not being screwed up is screwed up. i just don't know.

[madisgram]

well your life has gone thru many changes recently with the divorce. you will now be creating a new life for yourself. sometimes things we are familiar with is more comfortable than change, even if it's for the better. be kind to yourself. i'm sure you would comfort a good friend...try to do the same for you. when we women are married we often times lose ourselves being wife, mother, 'maid", etc. so this too may take some practice. i'm thinking like lit candles, bath salts, warm bath soak for starters. the first time i did it i couldn't even relax. it was so foreign to me to do something for just me.