[Crew]

Trying to figure out if this is grief or what?!?!

My last to be born named Lake would be 28 years old. Why am I still griefing and the pain feel s stronger.

Anyone?


Thank you for any of your ideas, they would be greatly appreciated.

Crew

[bebop]

hon I think we will always grieve for our children. sometimes it just doesn't hurt quite as much as others. how long ago?

[NewDay45]

My thoughts are with you. My experience of grief is that it can well up at anytime. Ongoing grief for me is the sorrow of what never will be. I can't imagine what that would be like for a mother to loose a child. All the things you miss and can't share together if he had lived. Yes, this is grief. Take care of yourelf. I'm glad you could share with us here.

[Purplechick]

My dad died 18 years ago - I miss him so much still and have no idea when the grief will ease. I didnt have a good relationship with him, so have wondered if that is why....

[Gus1234U]

aaah, we are so quick to judge, some emotions, feelings, are Good, some are Bad, but not really ,,, they are just chemicals in the brain... feel what you feel, don't question it,, look at it, and let it speak to you, then let it go. it will finish when it's finished. giving it a name doesn't change it much... one of my teachers told me: as long as the past is with you , it is still the present. i remember that, some things i will carry with me always, some i will drop by the wayside. this one you will keep.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Everyone has their own unique grief process, and sometimes our grief can be intermingled with other issues many of us are going thru.

Sometimes it can be very confusing. "is this grief or depression? Am I going crazy? Why is it worse now?" etc.

I would go with just not judging it whatsoever.

For me, judging it can be crazymaking.

Hang in there.

And grief can be with us for a long time.

Not unusual.

Billi

[forever mom 1968]

I lost a baby at 8 months pregnant, over 32 years ago and still feel the loss like it was yesterday. In your situation I know the pain is even greater. A child is your child forever, and thinking of what could have been is always going to cause grief and depression. The only thing we can do is know that there was a reason for the loss. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you are coping with this and the pain is just a little less. We never want to forget but we always need to go on.

[Crew]

Thank you for ALL of your responses.... It has been 28 years now and getting older time flies faster, I have learned. I have lost 7 all together.
My heart just aches....... thank you all again and again!

I'm sorry for your loses too...... Crew

[alicemay]

I don't know what happened, but It must be awefull. I've been suicidal before and I've lived through it. there are mental health advocacy group where someone told me thier daughter had my mental illness and is dead. she told me why not to die. It really helped me. My illness is cause by child abuse. My parents don't believe I was abused. I needed family and therapy. You could go to therapy and get involved with saving lives.

[ZilchHour]

Originally Posted by Crew

Trying to figure out if this is grief or what?!?!

My last to be born named Lake would be 28 years old. Why am I still griefing and the pain feel s stronger.

Anyone?


Thank you for any of your ideas, they would be greatly appreciated.

Crew

Dear Crew, first of all I am really sorry for the loss of your children, it's certainly pain and grief beyond imagination. As for the question, what you're calling grief is simply your love for your children and love transforms into grief when we lose a loved one. So as long as you will love them, you'll feel the grief because the children are a part of you and will always be. We cannot simply erase the memories, though sometimes we wish that we could . But such is life and imo, grieving is not bad, it just shows your love and care...