[ARiver]

Well, I don't post alot of things, but I am needed of some where to talk. My Dad passed away last night from brian cancer, and he lives in Calif and I am in Texas. I am struggling with the fact that the Airline fares are beyond what I can afford, even if someone dies they offer no discounts, in fact American Airlines their specials are cheaper than anything else. Bottom line is I quess you need to know ahead of time when some one is going to die in order to be able to attend. I am pretty p...ssed right now. This is my Dad and I can not even go to his funeral. Along with being alone here in Texas with no other family, and little to no friends I am grieving alone. I can not stop crying and I am so damn angry I can't even focus on any thing I hope what I am writing makes sense. I am already going thru grief counseling, now just add 1 more to the weekly sessions. My question is am I a piece of crap for not going to my Dad funeral? I love him so much and I just cant believe he is gone. I know we all feel the same things when some one we love dies or leaves but it doesn't make it any better when it hurts like hell. THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT I AM GOING TO GO SCEAM NOW!!

[Junerain]

My heart goes out to you, all the things you feel, that you're pissed, the tears, the feeling like you're a piece of crap they're all very real. To feel like you need to know in advance to fly there in time must hurt, it just doesn't make sense. No, you are nota piece of crap, I can tell by how much you loved your Dad. You say you have few friends, what about going to depression bipolar support group dbsalliance.org click to find local meeting. Or why not start attending a church? Reach out to people around you, join something. You express yourself well, why not keep a journal? Write and let us know how you are doing, we care about you.

{{{{{ April }}}}}

I'm so sorry. You've had so much loss.

My heart goes out to you.

My question is am I a piece of crap for not going to my Dad funeral?

Of course not. You know father wouldn't think so.

I wish I could take your hurt away.

Petunia

[(JD)]

I am sad to hear this, (((hugs))) No, your father is with you right now... you don't have to go to the funeral. Funerals are for the living, and it would be good for you to be able to, to be with others who are also grieving this loss... talk about things you remember and all...

Does the train go there? Or a bus? Will that be too late? Would family postpone it a few days for you if you found another way to get there? Does family know you need help flying out?

My dad passed from brain cancer, also. It took him within 5 weeks of dx.. but he lived next door... It was tough for other family who lived out of state, country.. to make funeral. One didn't.

((((hugs)))

i'm sorry for your loss. pat

[EJ711]

ARiver, is there any chance they could have the funeral service now, but could have a memorial service in another month or so, to allow people to get more affordable rates. I'm sorry for you loss of someone who is so dear to you.
Jane - Oz

[Beautiful_Pain]

ARiver, I didn't make it to my brother's funeral. I was in North Carolina and he lived in Montana. I struggled with feeling like crap for not going. I ended up saying good-bye in my own way and time, which helped me. I hope you find some closure, somehow.

Take care

--BP