Death and regret

I have been regreting having moved from the state of Ohio because I couldn't get to know my older relatives. I have been trying to call my grandma on a regular basis but failed to get to know her.
This morning she died.
I moved because I have a strange tendency to let everyone else make my decisions for me. I wanted to live where someone would require me to make decisions. So, I moved in with my sister in another state. Now, I live on my own but regret living my original state. Was I selfish to want to try to figure out how to actually make decisions on my own? My family cared about me but I was so indecisive that if someone gave me advice I thought I had to follow it. Why couldn't I have stayed in Ohio and found some way to learn how to live on my own? But my dad was willing to just let me live there like a bum. How could I ever get on my own feet if I didn't deliberately stick myself in a position where someone would teach me the bus routes, help me to look for work and push me when necessary. I mean my dad never encouraged me to look for a job and there was no bus route. Driving scared me because of my lack of direction and some odd fear.
Thanks for letting me run on for a while.

so sorry for the loss of your grandma.......

Sorry for your loss.
Alot of regrets come with death and greiving. It's apart of the process.....pretty typical.
You were only doing what you needed to do for yourself. It's okay.
Don't be to hard on yourself.
I hope you feel better.
Desirae

Really sorry to hear about your loss.

Just read your post, I too am very sorry for your loss. Just look at your relocation as a journey youl have already learned alot about your self, which I am sure is what your grandmother would want for you, to travel the journey u are on.

Hopeful,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

I feel you made the right decision to move away. Sometimes people who are closest to us don't allow or encourage us to become independent.

It is normal to have regrets when someone important to us dies. It's part of the process of grieving. It is pretty typical to have some regrets.

Feel free to PM me if you would like.

EJ