[Hopefull]

My Great Aunt died in June of 2005 and my grandma died in January. I mentioned a feeling of guilt tied to their deaths. I feel bad for how I treated my Great Aunt when I lived with her. She had had some strokes and was lucid at times. At other times, she was a bit out of her mind. I tried to be good to her but I have always had a bit of a fear of losing my mind. I used to have a bad temper in elementary school and feared that I would grow up to kill someone in a mad rage or something. Then, I left the state. At her funeral, I felt guilty for having left the state when I did. When my grandma died, I felt guilty for not having been in the state for her.
I mentioned a tip of the ice berg version of this to my sister and got the impression that it isn't okey for me to mourn my great aunt because she died last year. This bugs me because I think that I got stuck and couldn't mourn her due to the guilt. So, I seem to be only allowed to talk about this to a T which I can't get in to see because I have only just met my new T today and she was all booked up for a future appointment. My old T left the office.

[bebop]

you are free to grieve whenever you are up to it! there are no "rules" in the grief process

grieve here amongst loving friends. we all have big shoulders and give good hugs.....love, pat

[red_rose]

want to talk? I know where you are coming from I lost my mother in June of last year,I would be glad to help you any way I can .please PM anytime and I'll be glad to do what I can for you.

[Hopefull]

Memories of MInnie.
Playing at her house, It was like a sanctuary from negativity. I felt special there because she had a room specifically for our toys and for us to play in.
She taught us about the bible and God. Her Bible always laid open on the table.
She jiggled when she laughed.
Memories of Grandma
She prayed for us regularly. I have enjoyed knowing that I was always enveloped in her prayers.
She always said that she loved me on the phone. It was nice to hear that every week. I didn't know how much I need to hear that until I lost it.
Being able to call her every week.
visiting her in Ohio and Florida. She seemed to have so little energy then.
Her faith in God. She stated that God gave her a sense of peace about leaving us.
They both loved me unconditionally.
What memories do you have of your mother?

[DocClyde]

((((Hopefull)))), I am very sorry to hear about your losses. Everyone is right, you can grieve when and where you need. We are here for you.