loss of my great aunt and my grandfather this year

this summer my great aunt died suddenly of old age at the doctor's office (of all places!) and then two weeks later my grandfather died of pancreatic cancer that had gone undiagnosed until it was too late.
most of the deaths in my family were expected and these were not. i'm not dealing with it so well i guess. i've never really gotten too upset about people dying mostly because it was after years of suffering and it was the best thing to happen. these however caught all of us off guard.
now i have no grandparents.
i also feel really guilty about how things were left with my great aunt. she was the "last" of her family to go and was very lonely and depressed. therefore, she talked mostly about things in the past and herself. she wouldn't listen to what we (my parents, cousins and i) were doing in the present day. she was very critical of everything and would insult us and strangers about their hair styles for example (she used to be a hairdresser) and sometimes things she said would really hurt. i got into an argument with her last christmas about this and she just wouldn't hear my opinion. she was a burden on my parents too as they had to go check on her everyday and she was a handful. she did good to remain independent until she was 92 though!! but i feel so bad because i never got to say good bye and would avoid talking to her on the phone and the argument and all..... and she said some mean, shallow things about my boyfriend (who is overweight and doesn't fit her "ideal"...and said "you can do better than that, honey") she really wasnt' trying to be mean, i know that will be hard to get across to you.... but she wasn't. but it still hurt.
and my grandfather, i just feel so bad, because he was so sweet and kind and would never hurt a soul. he paid for my college and i don't feel like i could ever thank him enough.
i don't know.
since all of this has happened i keep having these dreams about my great aunt and her sister (my grandmother) and last night i dreamed about being at my grandfather's house (which i will have to go back to over christmas again as we are still cleaning it out) and i don't know what that means.
i guess i am just venting. any thoughts though on anything i said? i'm just not used to this yet.

so sorry to hear of your losses........isn't it odd that whether we really loved someone or maybe didn't like others very much.....when they are gone....we feel the loss.........its very normal to have the dreams you are having.....and please don't worry about any bad feelings about things you did or did not do for your aunt......once they pass to"the other side"....all is forgiven.....at least that is my belief......take care.......things will get better...julia

Yes, your aunt and grampa know your heart. I know that to be true.