[jbug]

I have been doing so good with dealing with my grief regarding Steve thought I had moved on been getting on good with my therapist that I have now, built up some level of trust. I don't think I will ever have the same level of trust I had with him though. The emotions I am dealing with now I want to talk to him about have him help me through them. Some of the acting out I am doing I know he would understand and be able to help me through but I don't know how S would deal with it so don't want to tell her. Today it just hit me with a ton of bricks that I miss Steve. I went to call his voice mail to leave a message which is something I haven't done in years and he has been gone for 4 years then I realized he's not there I can't do that. I have to trust S and see what happens. I don't want to. I am scared to trust her. It took me so long to trust him and then when I trusted him he died. What if that happens again? I couldn't handle that. I was so surprised with myself that I didn't end up in the hospital when he did die that I don't know what would happen if something happened to S.

How do you trust again?

Jan

[roads]

His dying had nothing to do with your trusting him. Try to realize where real connections exist ... and where apparent connections are mere coincidences.

[cowboy1]

I am so sorry to hear what happened. I just lost my bride on feb/9/2012 and it destroyed me and I still am. Hug's and all my good wishes go with you COWBOY1.

Originally Posted by jbug

. It took me so long to trust him and then when I trusted him he died. What if that happens again? I couldn't handle that. I was so surprised with myself that I didn't end up in the hospital when he did die that I don't know what would happen if something happened to S.

How do you trust again?

Jan

I think you are stronger than you think. My #1 passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in a boating accident. I was devastated.

Then, #2 came along, and I swore I'd never be able to trust, fall in love, etc. again. We were friends for a year before I even had the slightest clue he had a crush on me. Eight years later, I was engaged to the most wonderful man in the world (#2), my Best Friend / My Heart.

A month after we got engaged, #2 was Dx with Stage 4, aggressive, rare form of cancer. And he passed away.

I NEVER in a zillion years thought I'd get through it.

It takes time.

Yet, here I am. You CAN do this.