Half a decade

5 years ago tomorrow I lost an extremely important person in my life. My uncle passed away suddenly from a heart attack when i was 14. He'd been there since the minute i was brought home and we'd never spent more than a few days away from each other in my entire life. He was more of a father than anyone. I'm not blood related to my family but he never gave me any reason to think or feel otherwise. I never got to say goodbye and its still haunting me to this day. I'm 19 now and I look after his son like he's my own but I still can't bring myself to say i'm over his death because I know im not. Everyone else in my family seems to be getting over it, like its a normal day for them and I feel so alone in the fact that i miss him more than anything and it breaks me to even think of it. I can't cope on anniversaries especially this one, I don't know what to do with myself. Keeping 'busy' just doesn't seem like an option, it feels like an insult to him that i'm trying to block it out or something. I'm not coping well in the slightest.

Hi Kaioken ! I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear uncle. These anniversaries are SO hard - especially when others just don't seem to even acknowledge them, and they hurt US so terribly. I know what you mean. And I'm sorry you're still grieving so badly. It's sad that you didn't get to say goodbye.

I think it would be beneficial to you to consult a grief therapist. I saw one when my husband died, and it really helped me alot! The therapist helped me move thru the grieving more smoothly so I didn't get "stuck" in one particular stage, which so often happens. I think you should try it. You can contact one thru Hospice -- it doesn't matter if you've used their services or not. They will be happy to talk to you! There might be a small fee, but I'm not sure. But I really think it would do you some good.

Again, I'm so sorry. Please let us know how you're doing! God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

I am very sorry to hear about your loss of you uncle. Loosing someone is probably one of the hardest lesson's in life and I think alot of people don't realize how short it is. To love and care about someone and get used to how they do thing's in life to just loose them and never see them or hear them again only in your mind or for what they have made or the lessons they left behinde to learn from I know what you mean. The reason why I say this is because in febuary of this year I lost my wife who died in my arm's looking at me I had been with for twelve year's. Then a good friend two month's later. So I know how you feel inside and watch the same thing you do everyday how it seem's other people forget. Now my father has cancer of the lung's and brain. I don't think there will ever be a time or a song that or anything that will make you forget. I beleave the people who act like they forget are acctualy denieing in a way that it happened or they just have no clue what to say so they keep quiet. Everyone alway's remember will grieve and do something differant and act differant than someone else. We are all indiviguals and everyone of us are made differant and there will never be another like you or your uncle or me or my wife or friend. They broke the mold when we where made so alway's act who your are and how you feel not how someone else whant's you to act or be. My grandfather used to say to me don't live your life year by year or month by month or week by week. Live your life day by day, minute by minute and secound by secound. Sorry for your lose again and lot's of respect for takeing care of his son and makeing him like your's because he is. Hope you start feeling better soon hug's and wishe's alway's COWBOY1.