Life without mum

Dear Tink, Somehow I missed reading your post on the 23rd. I only just read it now. I'm sorry for the painful circumstances that are making your grief worse. I now better understand why you are in such pain. What Shez says above is very wise. I hope you can take it in and benefit from it. Your normal grief is being complicated and made worse by other issues. They are sad and weigh on you. It would be good for you to talk with someone about that. Of course, we are here for you.

Thank you all so much

Yesterday was a good day I didn't feel guilty at all but today I feel dreadful, I can't get it out of my mind that mom died hating me, I saw her 2 days before she died and she walked right past me like I was a stranger, We used to be so close, My dad says she died of a broken heart because of me.

That is such a cruel thing to say to you Tink. and wasn't he abusive to you too? I would not put any stock into his words. Plus, there is a reason why you stayed away. If there had not been so much pain whenever you were around your family, you would not have stayed away. They need to look at themselves.