[valcat]

I don't post very much on this board, usually I just lurk.

I am missing my brother. He was killed last summer. My only brother, my baby brother. He was only 20 years old. I wish I could have protected him. I just wish things could have turned out differently. I was his big sister and he will always be my little brother.
I love you Brian.

[EJ711]

Valcat -

I'm sorry for your loss.

I lost my only brother, and I miss him. It's been 32 years, but I still miss him every day.

Please feel free to PM me antime.

Hugs,

EJ

[valcat]

EJ711-
Thanks for the reply. Today has been one of those days when I have thought about him more. Although, he is always there in every thought I think, if that makes any sense.

Valcat,

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I do know that pain.

Healing wishes and a hug,

Petunia

[valcat]

Thank you Petunia.
I'm just struggling. I try to hide, but deep down inside I am so depressed. I try to cover it with pills. I feel like I have to be a certain way, other people don't understand the pain. I feel like a horrible person.

Aww Sweetie,

You are not a horrible person.

You are a sister who loved her brother and misses him.

I understand your pain.

Two of my brothers died.

You will continue to struggle everyday, some days worse than others.

It's only been a year. In grief terms that's about a month.

But good days will come. They might be slow getting here, but they will come.

And that's perfectly okay.

Everyone grieves differently.

There are lots of people here who can support you.

You don't have to hide your pain here.

This is an excellent place to release your feelings.

(((( Valcat ))))

[valcat]

I would like to share this Hopi prayer. I have read it and heard it many times and I find it gives me some peace.

Do not stand
at my grave and weep.
I am not there
I do not sleep.

I am a thousand
winds that blow.
I am the
diamond
glints on snow.

I am the
sunlight
on the ripened
grain.

I am the
gentle autumn's
rain.

When you awaken
in the morning hush,
I am the swift
uplifting rush
of quiet birds in
circled flight.

I am the
soft stars that
shine
at night.

Do not stand
at my grave
and cry:
I am not there,
I did not die.

-Hopi Prayer

[valcat]

Thanks so much Petunia.
Your words mean so much. I too often distance myself from others, especially my family, I just want to protect them. I feel better letting out these thoughts and thank you for being there to listen.

It's late here...I'm going to try to get some sleep.

Thanks again.