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#1
Mar 30, 2006, 09:15 AM
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My mother was killed in a tragic car accident 9 years ago and I am still not over it. She lost controll of her car and ran into a snowplow at about 55mph. She was killed instantly. Her body was split in half to her waist.
When it happened I went into a deep depression. I was not talking to my mother at the time of her death and we hadn't spoken in years. I went to the funeral but there were many people who didn't even know that I was her daughter. That was very painful. I didn't go to see her body and say goodbye because after hearring the discription of the condition of her body I did not want to see her that way. It is 9 years later and I still get ill when I even hear a snowplow go by never mind when I see one on the road. I guess the hardest part is our relationship was filled with nothing but pain, suffering, judgemenatel accusations, and condemnation. Love was only a dream. Being death is so final nothing will ever change and I have to live with this reality forever more that is almost umbareable. my siblings don't understand because they all experienced the love of our mother in different levels of course but at least they got something to hold onto. I don't know if anyone can relate to me but if you can help me to get through this I would surely appreciate your efforts. Thanks. |
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#2
Mar 30, 2006, 09:15 AM
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My mother was killed in a tragic car accident 9 years ago and I am still not over it. She lost controll of her car and ran into a snowplow at about 55mph. She was killed instantly. Her body was split in half to her waist.
When it happened I went into a deep depression. I was not talking to my mother at the time of her death and we hadn't spoken in years. I went to the funeral but there were many people who didn't even know that I was her daughter. That was very painful. I didn't go to see her body and say goodbye because after hearring the discription of the condition of her body I did not want to see her that way. It is 9 years later and I still get ill when I even hear a snowplow go by never mind when I see one on the road. I guess the hardest part is our relationship was filled with nothing but pain, suffering, judgemenatel accusations, and condemnation. Love was only a dream. Being death is so final nothing will ever change and I have to live with this reality forever more that is almost umbareable. my siblings don't understand because they all experienced the love of our mother in different levels of course but at least they got something to hold onto. I don't know if anyone can relate to me but if you can help me to get through this I would surely appreciate your efforts. Thanks. |
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#3
Mar 30, 2006, 10:21 AM
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I cannot not relate as I have not suffered an unimaginable horror such as this but I just wanted to say the you were very strong to post about it.
Sending you gentle and peaceful thoughts.
__________________
 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#4
Mar 30, 2006, 10:21 AM
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I cannot not relate as I have not suffered an unimaginable horror such as this but I just wanted to say the you were very strong to post about it.
Sending you gentle and peaceful thoughts.
__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#5
Mar 30, 2006, 10:23 AM
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Hi. My Mom died aboard a jetliner bound for Fl to spend Thanksgiving with her favorite son...who one year later took his own life.Mom had a major heart attack. I was in the hospital at the time. Before she left ....at no time did she call the hospital to see how I was.
She never liked me. She physically and verbally abused me all the years I was growing up..and gave nothing but kindness to my brothers. Why does this happen? In many cases it's how they were brought up. IMO! Males in the family took precedence. I don't hold anything against her. Mostly for religious and spiritual reasons. I am currently driving her car. She left no will and it took me forever to get the car from probate court. I had for years suggested that she make out a will...as my brothers were not responsible..and were filled with greed. I was without transportation at that time. My small inheritance came in a brown paper bag.  My story is miniscule compared to yours..but the hurt and Questions do surface from time to time. I am so sorry for your loss. I could not go to my mothers' funeral either as I was still in the hospital..& I didn't have the money to go to Fla. as well! If I had one wish..it would be that all children are Well- loved..and without discrimination.GL. I hope you will keep posting here.~Dottie
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 dottie |
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#6
Mar 30, 2006, 10:23 AM
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Hi. My Mom died aboard a jetliner bound for Fl to spend Thanksgiving with her favorite son...who one year later took his own life.Mom had a major heart attack. I was in the hospital at the time. Before she left ....at no time did she call the hospital to see how I was.
She never liked me. She physically and verbally abused me all the years I was growing up..and gave nothing but kindness to my brothers. Why does this happen? In many cases it's how they were brought up. IMO! Males in the family took precedence. I don't hold anything against her. Mostly for religious and spiritual reasons. I am currently driving her car. She left no will and it took me forever to get the car from probate court. I had for years suggested that she make out a will...as my brothers were not responsible..and were filled with greed. I was without transportation at that time. My small inheritance came in a brown paper bag. My story is miniscule compared to yours..but the hurt and Questions do surface from time to time. I am so sorry for your loss. I could not go to my mothers' funeral either as I was still in the hospital..& I didn't have the money to go to Fla. as well! If I had one wish..it would be that all children are Well- loved..and without discrimination.GL. I hope you will keep posting here.~Dottie
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dottie |
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#7
Mar 30, 2006, 11:18 AM
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((((( Evie )))))
I am so sorry. Do you see a therapist? I believe that would help you deal with the grief and the guilt. I've lost three close family members and although I was "talking" to them at the end of their short lives, we had many unresolved issues. I still fluctuate between anger over "those issues" the sadness of "those issues" and the desire to kick those issues out of the way, grab hold of whatever good memories are left, and and put them on a pedestal. It's all so hard and very confusing. My heart goes out to you. Petunia |
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#8
Mar 30, 2006, 11:18 AM
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((((( Evie )))))
I am so sorry. Do you see a therapist? I believe that would help you deal with the grief and the guilt. I've lost three close family members and although I was "talking" to them at the end of their short lives, we had many unresolved issues. I still fluctuate between anger over "those issues" the sadness of "those issues" and the desire to kick those issues out of the way, grab hold of whatever good memories are left, and and put them on a pedestal. It's all so hard and very confusing. My heart goes out to you. Petunia |
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#9
Mar 30, 2006, 05:24 PM
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I can relate...my mom died almost 13 yrs ago and I tried all my life to make her love me. I failed at that. She died mad at me. It took me a very long time to get over that. It was HER loss. I did everything I could possibly do for her. If you want you can pm me. Please just know though that is was NOT your fault. My mom was a mean mean woman.
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He who angers you controls you! |
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#10
Mar 30, 2006, 05:24 PM
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I can relate...my mom died almost 13 yrs ago and I tried all my life to make her love me. I failed at that. She died mad at me. It took me a very long time to get over that. It was HER loss. I did everything I could possibly do for her. If you want you can pm me. Please just know though that is was NOT your fault. My mom was a mean mean woman.
__________________
He who angers you controls you! |
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#11
Mar 30, 2006, 07:53 PM
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the last three weeks ofo my mom's life, she was glad to be with me. otherwise, it was never easy.
i am so sorry that you are still feeling pain concerning your mom. can you find a group called "Compassionate Friends"? i understand that they can be very helpful. it is made up of people who've lost someone to death. xoxox pat |
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#12
Mar 30, 2006, 07:53 PM
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the last three weeks ofo my mom's life, she was glad to be with me. otherwise, it was never easy.
i am so sorry that you are still feeling pain concerning your mom. can you find a group called "Compassionate Friends"? i understand that they can be very helpful. it is made up of people who've lost someone to death. xoxox pat |
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#13
Mar 31, 2006, 09:25 AM
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Dear Sabrina;
I am very happy for you that you can not relate to my posting. You are very fortunate not to have had to suffer something so devistating. Thank you for saying that you think that I am strong for posting about my mother's killing. That is what I referr to it as. I don't think I was being strong. I think I am just hurting and need to vent in a safe place. Thank you for sending me gentle and peaceful thoughts that was really kind of you. |
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#14
Apr 30, 2006, 06:44 PM
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Evie I am new to the boards here and I am so sorry about the tragic death of your mom. It really sounds like you are having a really hard time. I know and understand what it is like to loose somone that is close to you. DO you have somone you talk to on a regular basis like a therapist? I give you a big hug during this difficult time. I hope you get through it okay. Take care of yourself . Bearhugs.
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#15
May 01, 2006, 10:32 PM
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Please accept any comfort that sharing can bring. Grief is something we all have to bare, one way or another.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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