[Grey Matter]

It has been 326 days since I lost my sibling. My best friend. My other half. Internally, I have felt like chipping. cracking china, and that one wrong move will land my brain in a place I am to scared to let it venture.

The people in my life tell me "It's been almost a year. You're not moving on fast enough."

What is fast enough?

Am I meant to erase 22 years of life with this person in a matter of a year? In a year, am I meant to accept that those 22 years till not become 23 and I am growing older then my sibling?

It's ruining every bit of me. And since I am the rock of the family. I have no one to keep me grounded.

[kaliope]

grief is an individual thing. everybody experiences it at their own pace. don't let others push you into "getting over it" faster than what you need. you need time to process it in your own way. if it takes more than a year, it is going to take more than a year. perfectly normal!

[Raindropvampire]

Is a grief support group an option for you? When I lost my sister it was a life saver for me. Most are free and if you live in a bigger city there should be tons to choose from. My heart goes out to you that you have to endure this pain.

[Grey Matter]

Thank you both for the replies.

I agree that grief is an individual process. My therapist is just telling me that I am not "far enough along" which I find to be a bunch of illogical babel, especially coming from a grief therapist. Some days are okay, some are not. Today is a not okay day and I feel ashamed that I am still grieving like this mainly because of her pressures. But I am on government health care. There aren't many options for me.

As for groups; The only ones in my area that are available to those who lost a loved one due to cancer, terminal illnesses etc. They are also very religious in their helpings, and that scares me. I hope with more research that I will be able to find some sort of local support system for I am beginning to feel like a burden to those around me. It's exhausting.