[Twistergirl]

Hi everyone,

First of all, I lost my 16 year old sister on 23rd September and she is still having test to see how she died as they don't know what killed her.. We haven't had the funeral yet and she is still at the hospital.. But I wanted to ask you about something and any support or advice..

I don't wanna come across as stupid when I write this..

But today, I had a strange day.. I woke up at 7am and I was fine and then suddenly my mind kinda switched and I was acting like a child and doing colouring and watching kids programmes and doing child like things.. But recently, people who are on my Facebook will know I recently lost my 16 years old sister 3 weeks ago.. But today when I was being child like, I saw her as a young kid, I was around 9 and she was around 4 years old. We did colouring together and watched the programmes and cuddled up in the duvet.. I know she is gone and come 4pm, my mind kinda clicked back and I was myself again and then the feelings of her being gone again came back and I felt like **** again.. From say 8am to 4pm today, I was happy with my little sister, we did fun things and I enjoyed it myself with Jade..

I know its not real.. I was just wondering if anyone has ever been through that and how did the deal with the feelings I got after I spent time with her.. It felt real, that Jade was there and we were doing fun things, I smelt, heard, saw, felt her and it was lovely..

I do miss her so much..

Claire..

[Rzay4]

Claire,

First off what you just wrote isn't stupid at all. I can definitely relate.

I lost my older brother several years ago and it took a few years for the shock to wear off. It varies from person to person.

Not long after he crossed over I went on a school trip to New Orleans it was awesome and a mistake at times. One day on the trip I completely forgot that my brother was no longer here, the day felt like any other day. It was a free hour or two where we were allowed to go shopping for gifts for family and friends. I got so excited when I saw this pimp jacket as my brother was very into that stuff. For several minutes or half an hour I was set on buying it, until it clicked in my head that he was gone. I was devastated. Heat crushed thankfully had support of my fellow classmates.

Now even many years later I still go through phrases of shock and denial. Grief is a lifelong process.

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and hope you find support here and through your friends and family.

Thanks for sharing

R

[Gus1234U]

pardon me for taking so long to reply to this post. sometimes it's so hard to know what to say, that won't make things worse. i'm not very good at comforting people, not even myself. but my heart goes out to you~

i want you to know that many of us feel helpless in the face of our challenges, you are not alone in that~ i will keep you in my thoughts~

Gus

[winter4me]

I think the playing with your sister is a wonderful kind of self-soothing 'episode', creative and it let you be with her for a time as things once were. This has to be an otherwise awful time since you don't even know why/how she died...

[Sabrina]

I am sorry for your loss